Mental Health Support

[Ha****]

I, like a lot of us I'm sure, suffer from some mental health issues. I'm from a small poverty stricken area in the middle of the rust belt and finding community and support can be tough. 

My main dx that I'm struggling with in terms of support and connection is (the apparently highly stigmatized) Borderline Personality Disorder. Specifically in regards to an intense falling out of me and my FP of six years over the past six months. I'm hurting, lost, and need someone to talk to about it.

But I created this as a thread just in case there are others on here who need support with different dx's and situations too. Times are tough and strange out there and it will be easier if we stick together ❤️

[JesstheMess]

Falling out how.... me and mine were together for 17 years

[bo****]

Mental health is absolutely the most important thing to address as a society

[Fi****]

This is so true and so important! Community can help us feel not as alone. I won’t share my diagnoses but I understand what you’re going through. 💖

[le****]

Hi bunny i know your pain. I suffer with ocd and bpd and have recently split up with my partner. Im really struggling but im here lol

[Deleted Member]

Good evening and thank you for your post. I spent 50 years living without knowing I was autistic and yes it was very difficult understanding and communicating with non A folk . As for my support now it’s all done through the fetish community and friends. The fetish world accepts me without judgment and I’m so grateful to them all.
Hopefully others will also lend an ear and welcome you to a safe place 🙏🙏🙏

[ma****]

I've got borderline personality disorders have had it since I was 17, but most likely before that and a few other things to including CPTSD, and finding people that are understanding, to me is like trying to finding a perfect flawless diamond, it's near impossible or feels like it.

[Ky****]

Thank you for this. I'm diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, major depression, and anxiety. I've been on medication for years now and am able to hold down a part time job that I really like! It's not easy, but I try to stay positive

[le****]

Just realised i wrote bunny instead of buddy lol sorry

[ca****]

I'm a highly functioning Autistic. So I didn't learn to be human at the age most other people did. As a result I've spent my life studying organizational development, evolutionary biology and other type subjects so I can understand why people do what they do, so I can better pretend to be human and fit in a little better.

I would give a strong caution to anyone believing they are dominant or submissive based only on how porn portrays these roles. Actually that caution applies to anything learned in porn. What looks good in a video doesn't necessarily, and almost certainly does not be, work that way in real life. There are people and places and books/videos where you can learn these things so that you understand why and how it works. To do otherwise is to risk serious harm to one or the other of you.

I'm no therapist; but, I'd think especially someone with a condition like BPD or Autism or Bi-polar disorder should pursue a greater than average understanding of how people react to things so as to help keep their condition in check. My understanding of anger, for example, led to a change in parenting technique that helped me to raise a fine daughter that didn't throw temper tantrums like most kids do. For myself, I haven't been angry in almost 12 years.

Please, be responsible and study with someone. It'll improve your life and prevent serious harm. If you have studied, keep studying this as a discipline, especially if you have, as I do, some mental or emotional disadvantage. If you want what learning or guidance I can provide, it would be my honor to assist where I can.

[Lo****]

I know it's confusing, painful and unsettling, but a personality disorder is not a life sentence. You can get better, get better in every single area that qualified you in the past for this diagnosis. If experiences and meanings can create "mental disorders" they're also the solutions to it, so the future is more than open. The only thing is that trying by yourself is a bit tossing a coin, therapy would be the real solution

[sW****]

I don't like the assumption of mental disorders. That said: I have GAD. Lol. It's pretty severe. I am fully medicated and very rarely have any issues with breakthrough symptoms. Mine is "high functioning" so it's even worse sometimes because I don't "present" as anxious. I internalize. I may look totally peaceful on the outside but am analyzing everything, all the time. My mind moves at warp speed.

[DeviantInside]

People who have seen my previous posts know I work in mental health. And I just wanted to say thank you for sharing. It's important that people should feel free to discuss mental health problems openly and without stigma. Self recrimination, feeling alone, judged, or that tehre's no way out only worsen all aspects of mental health issues and further entrench them. Knowing you're not alone, that it's not your fault and that there is hope and ways to cope, improve and even fully recover. The more we can make it acceptable to talk about and the more we cen spread the education about all of these things the better for all.

I know fear of abandonment is often a major part of BPD, both from my training but also from friends that have had to cope with it too.

I'm not here to shill my services but as a hypnotherapist if anyone wants to drop me a pm I'm more than happy to talk. To be absolutley clear on that point... happy just to chat on here, about what I've learned, and my experiences, or anything that may help without trying to get anyone to book a sesion.

 

[Mouse1]

I find if u tell anyone you have mental health problems they look at you as if you have 3 heads and will go crazy on them i myself have problems but don't talk to anyone cause i cant trust them especially when they act like a holes and then block u for no reason when your having a conversation with them thats why i know ill never find anyone and will always be alone done it 39 yrs i know thank god i won't do it another 39 yrs.

[Deleted Member]

The most difficult thing is holding on to sense of self when these times hit and the only voice you have in your head, is the one telling you you're worthless. In my own case, I do what I have to do to salvage my spirit. From eating a pint of ice cream, to singing the golden oldies of my youth, to wrapping myself in quilts and watching my favorite movie over and over. I also see my therapist and get my medicine augmented. I do this to care about ME. I want you to know you are worthy and worth caring about. At these times, lavish all the love you have on yourself. Do not despair - it will be ok 🤗

[Ha****]

3 hours ago, JesstheMess said:

Falling out how.... me and mine were together for 17 years

Golly Bob Howdy is it a long story, so to cut to the chase. She found herself in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and the guy got into her head and planted seeds of doubt and drove a big wedge between us. Then she spiraled into alcoholism and Xanax addiction and her whole personality has changed. She resorted to taking out her anger and frustrations out on me more and more. Refuses to accept any kind of reality that she doesn't like. Shows complete disregard to my feelings and emotions and how her words and actions have been affecting them. She only shows any kind of care or concern towards me if it's affecting her negatively like bumming her out or making her feel guilty or sad and this care goes as far as "Can you just act normal. I can't handle this". Lately she has been purposefully doing things she knows will trigger and hurt me and then try to gaslight me about it. And she absolutely refuses to communicate or talk about any of it. And if I try to get her to acknowledge her toxic behavior she tries to gaslight me into seeing her as the victim and says I'm being "cruel", "rude", or "evil"...all her words. Now she's beginning her smear campaign against me to friends and coworkers, obviously in preparation for everyone to be on her side when everything comes to a head. The whole thing is legitimately my worse nightmare. She was my FP for six years and now not only is she a stranger to me....but an absolute monster to me.

[Ha****]

3 hours ago, madkitty76 said:

I've got borderline personality disorders have had it since I was 17, but most likely before that and a few other things to including CPTSD, and finding people that are understanding, to me is like trying to finding a perfect flawless diamond, it's near impossible or feels like it.

I feel that so much. I have taken to trying to educate people on my condition before I even consider letting my guard down... and sadly most of them can't be bothered to watch a video, read an article, or even look at informative memes. They will just lie and say they did then be absolutely confused why I act the way I act or do anything I do when it's basic BPD 101.

[Ha****]

3 hours ago, leatherlover85 said:

Just realised i wrote bunny instead of buddy lol sorry

Lol, I was gonna just roll with it. You can call me Bunny if you want so long as there's no malicious intent 😆😆😆

[Ha****]

3 hours ago, cakayakdiver said:

I'm a highly functioning Autistic. So I didn't learn to be human at the age most other people did. As a result I've spent my life studying organizational development, evolutionary biology and other type subjects so I can understand why people do what they do, so I can better pretend to be human and fit in a little better.

I would give a strong caution to anyone believing they are dominant or submissive based only on how porn portrays these roles. Actually that caution applies to anything learned in porn. What looks good in a video doesn't necessarily, and almost certainly does not be, work that way in real life. There are people and places and books/videos where you can learn these things so that you understand why and how it works. To do otherwise is to risk serious harm to one or the other of you.

I'm no therapist; but, I'd think especially someone with a condition like BPD or Autism or Bi-polar disorder should pursue a greater than average understanding of how people react to things so as to help keep their condition in check. My understanding of anger, for example, led to a change in parenting technique that helped me to raise a fine daughter that didn't throw temper tantrums like most kids do. For myself, I haven't been angry in almost 12 years.

Please, be responsible and study with someone. It'll improve your life and prevent serious harm. If you have studied, keep studying this as a discipline, especially if you have, as I do, some mental or emotional disadvantage. If you want what learning or guidance I can provide, it would be my honor to assist where I can.

Luckily the traumatic events in my life has given me an almost supernatural level of self awareness. At least according to the professionals I've seen. And I'm a fantastic independent study so I'm constantly educating myself on the how's and why's of my internal self. It's probably why I'm so open about it all.

But yes, you are absolutely right. Anyone who struggles with mental health issues or emotional regulation should be constantly vigilant in order to not becoming toxic or harmful to others. Education, self awareness, shadow work, and acceptance of your conditions and issues are the key to that.

And yes, no one should be learning or taking cues from Porn. Porn is hyper idealized fantasy for gratification and catharsis purposes. Ain't nothing real about it and believing so is harmful to both yourself and others.

[ma****]

26 minutes ago, HastursHellion said:

Golly Bob Howdy is it a long story, so to cut to the chase. She found herself in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and the guy got into her head and planted seeds of doubt and drove a big wedge between us. Then she spiraled into alcoholism and Xanax addiction and her whole personality has changed. She resorted to taking out her anger and frustrations out on me more and more. Refuses to accept any kind of reality that she doesn't like. Shows complete disregard to my feelings and emotions and how her words and actions have been affecting them. She only shows any kind of care or concern towards me if it's affecting her negatively like bumming her out or making her feel guilty or sad and this care goes as far as "Can you just act normal. I can't handle this". Lately she has been purposefully doing things she knows will trigger and hurt me and then try to gaslight me about it. And she absolutely refuses to communicate or talk about any of it. And if I try to get her to acknowledge her toxic behavior she tries to gaslight me into seeing her as the victim and says I'm being "cruel", "rude", or "evil"...all her words. Now she's beginning her smear campaign against me to friends and coworkers, obviously in preparation for everyone to be on her side when everything comes to a head. The whole thing is legitimately my worse nightmare. She was my FP for six years and now not only is she a stranger to me....but an absolute monster to me.

I went through exactly the same with my ex-partner, we we're only together officially for 2 year's, but it took me 3 year's, after I finally got the courage to actually kick him out and keep him out, because of a court order to stay away from me, I am now an absolute shell of who I was when I met him and I've not been in contact with him for over 5 year's now, I finally got the courage to move house and I had to start over again with everything, sometimes you just have to say, I can't do this anymore and think of yourself because you are NEVER going to be able to convince her she's anyway in the wrong, sometimes thing's just have to end, and it hurts like a bitch it really does, but it's you that can only stop I, I mean I'm struggling to high hell with thought's of I've completely wasted 45 year's, because I have nothing to show for it, and I'm always going to be alone because who would want me, I have NOTHING to offer anyone, I don't have a home of my own, it's rented, I don't have a career, because I've always listened to everyone else that I can't do anything, I've not had kid's because of other people's opinions, I can't even drive a car because I was told that I'd never be able to do it, but I still keep getting back up for some reason, there's got to be that little bit of hope in there somewhere

[Ha****]

1 hour ago, Mouse1 said:

I find if u tell anyone you have mental health problems they look at you as if you have 3 heads and will go crazy on them i myself have problems but don't talk to anyone cause i cant trust them especially when they act like a holes and then block u for no reason when your having a conversation with them thats why i know ill never find anyone and will always be alone done it 39 yrs i know thank god i won't do it another 39 yrs.

Homie your mental illness is not a curse and being able to see a therapist regularly, specifically one familiar with your particular dx, can not only be completely beneficial to you but also help you the interpersonal struggles you seem to be experiencing. You are not destined to forever be alone and you are absolutely going to find someone someday. These people that block or ghost you obviously have their own issues going on and you absolutely should not take it personally in any way. I know it feels like it, but it's never truly a judgment or condemnation of you. More than likely they had their own trauma and triggers that were set off by your conversation and removed themselves as a form of self protection. It's not you, you did nothing wrong. The real blame goes to whatever villain or event traumatized them in the first place. And anyone who ghosts or rejects you just because of your mental health issues is not someone you should be any kind of stock into when it comes to their character. Be glad the trash took itself out.

Be patient, be vigilant, and constantly be educating yourself on your conditions so you can developing healthy coping strategies and before you know it you will have love in your life. Don't let yourself grow bitter or resentful. You'll get there. Besides modern dating is like diving into a pool of rusty double sided razorblades in hopes you can find one that is good enough to give you a clean shave for a long while. It's possible to find it, but it's going to hurt the entire time and you might have to get a few shots from the hospital afterward. Keep your chin up. You've got friends here.

[ma****]

39 minutes ago, HastursHellion said:

I feel that so much. I have taken to trying to educate people on my condition before I even consider letting my guard down... and sadly most of them can't be bothered to watch a video, read an article, or even look at informative memes. They will just lie and say they did then be absolutely confused why I act the way I act or do anything I do when it's basic BPD 101.

Exactly I've done all that and my family we're actually the worse for it, what has actually helped me it to realise that I am this was because of the actions of other's, because BPD is just one big massive fat coping mechanism, learnt to survive, it's not actually our fault, we do have to own up to the repercussions of our actions because of our learned behaviour with BPD, but that show's that we're on a slow journey to learning how to cope with thing's in better ways than some of us have learned to

[Ve****]

Here's to hoping you feel better, and that every day onwards more and more people will finally get laid and released of the continuous build of sexual frustration!

🥳

[Ha****]

2 hours ago, NervousAndNew said:

Here's to hoping you feel better, and that every day onwards more and more people will finally get laid and released of the continuous build of sexual frustration!

🥳

Hear hear!

Or is it... Here here! ?

[Ve****]

17 minutes ago, HastursHellion said:

Hear hear!

Or is it... Here here! ?

You got it right first try! Hear Hear! 🎊