Findom Influx

[jw****]

I would love to hear from someone who ENJOYS paying ***. Or a REAL findom. Seriously. With the number of e-transfer scams out there, how do you sort through and find an actually dom, not just someone taking your ***? I don’t understand the draw, so I can’t make a decision about the overall “kink”. But I can say that I am not interested. And it does seem like 90%, or more, of these people are just looking for a fast payday. Please don’t remove this post, as it seems any time I’m remotely critical of findom my post gets removed. I am looking for actual information here.

[Se****]

I just block them and move on, I’m not interested in anything these parasites have to say

[Da****]

Anytime someone says they want ***...its block and move on.. I don't mind controlling my sub's spending but do not want their ***...

[Deleted Member]

I think the pandemic & lockdowns have triggered the surge in Findom due to a lot of people, I won't say women, as no doubt a lot of these Findom are men, needing a new way to sponge ***. In recent years with 50 Shades & others, lockdowns have brought a new way for people to exploit someone for their *** online, whether its a gold digger with no men to fleece in lockdown or more organised scammers jumping on a new lucrative bandwagon to fleece *** without really breaking any laws or moving from you chair - the pandemic + 50 Shades & Co has just created a new *** maker not dissimilar to Sugar Daddys with girls fleecing them for ***, it's just stepped it up a level to exploit some people's need for *** & *** or simply their loneliness

[Deleted Member]

Fully agree. It's a pest that is infecting the online world. It happens on most platforms but I do not see it on here very often. They are easy to spot once you know the signs.

[gr****]

I couldn't agree with you guys more but in this kinky community we have to accept everything cuz who are we to judge some poor guy that wants to sign away his bank account to a 22-year-old mistress who's been kinky for 10 years. Haha. But I do really mean we have to accept that maybe that is a gank for some guys but I agree with you it's kind of disgusting that these young beautiful women have no idea what they're doing and they're just praying on guys bank accounts. I do think maybe different chat rooms or areas or things where you know those girls wouldn't pop up in a search cuz they have to click on something specific I don't know there's got to be an easy solution as much as I think it sucks and it's a *** to deal with, but I find the easiest way for somebody to verify themselves is the picture method it should be able to remember somebody's face and depending on your usage on the site every so often you should have to take a picture of you maybe holding a certain number of fingers up with a left or right hand random that way you're just snapping your picture that doesn't get saved and gets faded away but it's just a check to make sure it's one person sitting there that matches the picture on their profile instead of some 300 lb lamo sitting behind a computer pretending to be a girl. Haha,
Anyway thank you for listening to my ramblings. Jared, and I didn't reread but I used talk to text so I apologize if something doesn't make sense. LOL. Rock on my BDSM community

[ey****]

3 hours ago, nycgentledaddy said:

Yet users profiles are approved where they blatantly ask for ***, or sugar daddy or *** or fin sub. I report all of them and they are numerous; some but definitely not all are banned. Also some pop up the very next day with a brand new profile and same language on profile. Does anyone review the content on a profile before it’s approved? Perhaps that would cut down on the self policing necessary as I myself have probably reported probably hundreds of these profiles.

Unless things have changed drastically - new profiles don't go through being verified - which would be difficult to do given the volume.  Equally - there would be nothing to stop someone changing their profile after approval and it would be insanely laborous for someone to review every profile change and tedious for users to have to wait for the typo in their profile to be approved. 

[ey****]

2 hours ago, jwpools said:

I would love to hear from someone who ENJOYS paying ***. Or a REAL findom. Seriously. With the number of e-transfer scams out there, how do you sort through and find an actually dom, not just someone taking your ***? I don’t understand the draw, so I can’t make a decision about the overall “kink”. But I can say that I am not interested. And it does seem like 90%, or more, of these people are just looking for a fast payday. Please don’t remove this post, as it seems any time I’m remotely critical of findom my post gets removed. I am looking for actual information here.

IIRC you have asked this before - and have had replies before.

But, it's going to be fairly difficult given that anyone who is a 'real' Findom would find her profile shut down here so she couldn't respond - and it's also against the TOC to offer *** for paid for services anyway - and - if it wasn't, the guys seeking this type of arrangement would go to sites where it is permitted.

The wider web has many many articles about Findom - if you are genuinely interested to learn then google is your friend.

 

[ey****]

2 hours ago, DomDaddySir said:

I think the pandemic & lockdowns have triggered the surge in Findom due to a lot of people, I won't say women, as no doubt a lot of these Findom are men, needing a new way to sponge ***

I mean, yes and no.

There has been a rise in people looking at Findom and other forms of online sex work since the pandemic began.   While we did have furlough in the UK there were a lot of people fell outside of this for one reason or another and for anyone now out of work or on a lower income it was a long long time.

While there was no group exempt from being exposed, it was disproportionately young women affected.

It's estimated that early in the pandemic there were 150,000 new sign ups to OnlyFans per day but unclear if that was all people attempting to sell or also those looking to pay

With the skyrocketing energy costs and disproportionate levels of help likely to be on hand; I would not be surprised to see a rise again in people attempting some form of online sex work.

This does of course create such a weird nest because yes, you've got people who really don't know what to do apart from go "Um, I'm a Findom - give me cash" and, guess what, because they don't understand what makes the guys paying tick, they don't make much ***.

But, there are those who do understand the appeal and how to do things in a way where they get paid and the guy gets his kicks and everyone is happy.

Well, everyone except for people who don't participate who don't think it should be a thing?! 

[Deleted Member]

30 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Unless things have changed drastically - new profiles don't go through being verified - which would be difficult to do given the volume.  Equally - there would be nothing to stop someone changing their profile after approval and it would be insanely laborous for someone to review every profile change and tedious for users to have to wait for the typo in their profile to be approved. 

Respectfully that doesn’t address why profiles that clearly violated that code of conduct that I reported aren’t banned.

[ey****]

10 minutes ago, nycgentledaddy said:

Respectfully that doesn’t address why profiles that clearly violated that code of conduct that I reported aren’t banned.

I get you - I have found in my reporting some have been quicker than others which is probably down to a whole bunch of factors like if it'd already been picked up by other sweeps or anything

[Deleted Member]

Agreed. It makes it so difficult nowadays to find genuine people that just want to explore kinks with you without trying to empty your pocket

[Ji****]

I agree with OP. I thought this was an app to meet people vs trying to scam them. Such a lazy con too

[Deleted Member]

I block those critters whenever we come across one another..BLOCK!

[Th****]

Well, I can’t speak for all women but I joined a few days ago, have no experience with BDSM but I would never be out here for ***.
I’m here to learn and grow. We are not all here for cash, guys.

[Sp****]

16 minutes ago, ThickBrat86 said:

Well, I can’t speak for all women but I joined a few days ago, have no experience with BDSM but I would never be out here for ***.
I’m here to learn and grow. We are not all here for cash, guys.

Absolutely, you're not all here for cash. But it's something that happens often enough to be, in many cases, the expected outcome whenever chatting with someone. Again, I got lucky sometimes and still have fun conversations, but most of my chat list is made of banned people.

[sm****]

It's not a new phenomenon sadly, over the years once a site gets established with a growing userbase and popularity the number of such accounts exponentially increases.

It's getting the knowledge out there to new users on what to look out for and what to do.

The site on the whole deals with unsolicited financial profiles in a quick way but they do need reported, it is impossible to monitor everything. 

The scene does have recognised financial services that the site recognises and places the $ sign on their profile and charges them a rate to use the site.  

[Si****]

14 minutes ago, KushindaVita said:

 but most of my chat list is made of banned people.

Well I think that this is testament to the site that it does take action when members report profiles. It's also testament to the members themselves who've taken the time to do their but to protect our community by making the report in the first place. 

[Si****]

35 minutes ago, ThickBrat86 said:

Well, I can’t speak for all women but I joined a few days ago, have no experience with BDSM but I would never be out here for ***.
I’m here to learn and grow. We are not all here for cash, guys.

I don't think any of us are trying to tar everyone with the same brush and I'd like to think that most of us are here to learn, grow, socialise, meet people and for the enjoyment of this huge kinky world. That said, this is definitely an issue that is becoming more prevalent. 

[Si****]

40 minutes ago, ThickBrat86 said:

Well, I can’t speak for all women but I joined a few days ago, have no experience with BDSM but I would never be out here for ***.
I’m here to learn and grow. We are not all here for cash, guys.

Welcome aboard BTW  I always enjoy seeing new people getting involved. 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts on this topic, I didn’t anticipate it would gain as much traction as it has. But I’m glad I could share something with the community which is worth discussing. Have a great day one and all x

[ey****]

1 hour ago, KushindaVita said:

But it's something that happens often enough to be, in many cases, the expected outcome whenever chatting with someone.

I find it interesting in the sense that - when women talk about different forms of patterned behaviour from men; men jump up and down demanding not to be counted as part of 'sexist sweeping statements' 

[Sp****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I find it interesting in the sense that - when women talk about different forms of patterned behaviour from men; men jump up and down demanding not to be counted as part of 'sexist sweeping statements' 

The irony is not lost on me, but I am not one of those jumpers, I am perfectly aware of "not all men, but enough men to make it a generalized issue" and this is a similar (though much, MUCH less important) issue.

[Deleted Member]

It's not just this app either, or in the BDSM community. Even vanilla dating apps are plagued with these either fake account or accounts of overly desperate woman asking for *** on the 3rd message.

[St****]

5 hours ago, anon814 said:

It's not just this app either, or in the BDSM community. Even vanilla dating apps are plagued with these either fake account or accounts of overly desperate woman asking for *** on the 3rd message.

And the fake ones are getting good too! They don’t just use the really pretty girls pictures that you could tell they were fake anymore. There seems to be one hotspot on tinderthey use that is 13 miles from me and I know they are ALL fake.