Is your Role Permanent

[Deleted Member]

Okay so I will try to word this as best as I can.
For context;
You have had or are currently in a relationship but your partner is not into the same stuff you are (anything involvingly roles/ dynamics)
Into. Which you are fine with to an extent because of course you care about the person so you're willing to live without it.

Question is, if your a daddy dom or a Little (or whatever is applicable to you) do you still belong to that role even is you aren't portraying it in your current realtionship?

Really hope this makes sense..this is one of those I'm trying to sleep but Brain is tryna be all philosophical and prevent me sleeping kinds of situations.

[un****]

you may not display sadistic tendencies or the tendencies of a daddy dom doesn’t make you any less of either

[Irenenthedream]

You can follow your instinct

[Lord_Talion]

Once a Master always a Master

[Deleted Member]

Good thought provoking question! I would say yes you would still belong to that role as it is still an idea for you. Many people feel that actually performing the role would be needed, BUT an idea still has validity power and presence for you

[Deleted Member]

Something magical happening during the pandemic. I went full time Daddy when we met on quarantine. I never stopped the roleplay and it took over my life. My now wife is 13 years younger than me. I treat her like my child. More like a pet that knows its a pet. F**k roleplay I'm Daddy 247. I've now built my whole life around this premis.

[Deleted Member]

I am currently struggling with this myself. I recently came out to my partner that I am no longer willing to suppress my wants and needs to please him. He has known all along I identify as submissive. He is unable or unwilling to act as my Dom (although he identifies as dominant) and wants nothing to do with the lifestyle. I have been with him for 28 years. We have built a wonderful life together. But I am feeling deeply unfulfilled. So I find myself on this site. My advice to you, for what it is worth, do not deny essential elements of yourself and your happiness. You will have regrets and a life filled with regrets is not fun

[Tidescent]

Are you Bi, even if you're not "portraying" by being in a relationship with people of both genders? It's funny you should mention philosophy, because this concept that words can be a kind of social action is called "performativity" and it can be applied to many things. It is, in fact, something philosophers argue about.

[ph****]

To me, a Dom cannot be one without a sub. If my role is dependent on another, which I’m thinking is almost everything, and I don’t have another, I can’t be that thing. I can’t Dom myself.

[Deleted Member]

First let me start of by saying, i definitely understand the brain not wanting to shut down and be philosophical. Now to answer your question to the best of my understanding; in short yes and no
Let me explain, i hope. If your partner knows of this side of you, isn't into it exclusively, but does accept certain aspect and generously does so as comfort grows. Especially if this part of your lifestyle has been previously discussed. I would say yes you still are in that roll as it applys to circumstances at hand. Granted as a Dom i would never *** anyone to do anything they didn't want to. In turn heavily relies on body language and conversations had.
Now the flip side. I say no, because if understanding as read, your partner doesn't want to be involved in that aspect of yourself. Yet as stated to point "are fine with to an extent because you care,"(shortened of course for ease of read), we accept our significant other regardless as should be because our love should never be conditional. So be it we hide a part of ourselves to an extent ever so slightly letting it peek out when alone or in certain situations. Me personally i have kept the bdsm dynamic portion out of the relationship but still showed dominant tendacies in other aspects but respected them as themselves and their own alpha side.

In conclusion i believe it can be both ways and also interchange. Unless explicitly stated that its not allowed and definitely something they dont want around them. Choosing to hide it is then that persons perogative to continue Especially if into the dynamics/rolls etc. Some people incoherently accept standard type rolls without even realizing they do. Yes thats fading out as society progresses but definitely something that happens. But it opens for that dominant and or submissive side whether the person not into it realizes it or not. Hope this answered? I coulda been lost for sure.

[Deleted Member]

To keep it simple. In answer to the question of whether a role is permanent, the answer is no, it doesn't have to. You can also have role-playing sessions that are coordinated in advance, to name an example.

[ao****]

I'm only attracted to people who have claimed that they're sub, others are not sexually attractive to me at all.
I had an ex who approached me as a “sub”, I liked him, but then I found out he was a DOM-type slave, so I ran away.
It’s very important for everyone to know what you want, and make it clear to your potential partners. If they don’t like it, just don’t waste ur time 🙃

[Deleted Member]

It depends, is that role just one of your many fantasies? Or is it part of your identity?
I'll take myself as example. I identify as a witch and as a goddess, and remain so a the time, it doesn't matter if I am single or in a relationship, weather I am playing with someone or I am not having sex with anyone.
Characteristics of the witch and the goddess will come up in all aspects of my life, including friendship, work, etc.
If I play, i don't know, the role of a sexy doctor, that only lasts as long as the scene lasts. It's not part of my identity.

[Deleted Member]

In answering,. I am basically vanilla outside the bedroom.. that's me who anyone can see. I contain my scenes to the bedroom. Bedroom play is for acting a role to make it fun sexually. I don't play/act out fantasies IRL as I'm not an actor playing a part. I'm comfortable being me IRL. So what you want to do or be, you must bear responsibility and face the consequences of your actions or behaviour as an adult.

[ts****]

I used to consider myself a dom and got rather into it, even owned a couple slaves back in the day. I have since evolved to having dom tendencies (my inner brat) and will turn more dominant if the Dominant person I’m playing with shows weakness. Gotta be on your game with me, I might flip the script lol