Back problems caused by restraint and coping post surgery

[Orangeconfusion]

I suffered a massive herniated disc at my lumbar spine. My surgeon says it’s highly likely to have been caused by extreme restraint positions (legs above head, bent forward extending the spine for example). I suffered agonising sciatica as a result and for six months could not walk, sex was impossible and ended when I had surgery. My (now ex) Dom refuses to accept this is an issue to discuss with subs as a risk or that the positions could be related to my ***. Ive not blamed him for it, I’ve just asked that he  risk assesses and asks the sub to consider the risks before restraining in positions that could put massive load on the spine. 
im now six weeks post surgery and scared of how to restart my kink life, it’s part of me and I cannot go back to vanilla now. I’m going to be very clear about hard boundaries about positions that extend or hyper extend my spine, but I’m not sure if that’s enough to protect my poor but recovering back.

Are there others out there who are living with back issues or have advice to offer about restraint positions that don’t irritate the spine? (Nb I also have a problem with my right shoulder after a fall which dislocated it). I tend to pull hard against my restraints. 

[ellii]

Everyone needs to be thinks first of hard or permanent damage by restraints in different positions.

[EmpathicPlay]

I admire your sense of public responsibility in posting this. Everyone is here for fun, no one comes here wanting to have their life irreversibly harmed as a result. There may be some sadistic Doms who get a kick out of that, but that's where it slips over the line into criminal behaviour. Be careful and realise that safewords are important and consent can be withdrawn.

[Ki****]

The fact that he doesn't want to discuss risks is a huge red flag and a clear sign that people shouldn't be playing with him for this exact reason.

Back problems definitely make restraints more precarious. Thankfully there are many that don't put much pressure on the back.

I think that just being aware of how your spine moves and not staying in one position for too long will go to great lengths to preventing further damage. Not exactly the easiest when you're restrain crazy tho

[Amorfati]

What was the operation called?
It’s unlikely but if they did put spinal rods in, avoid extreme positions!

[ol****]

Fully follow the advice of your doctor. Don't listen to anybody else, including your D or any new D in your life. 

When you are discharged frim the care of your doctor then set hard limits that protect your back,

[QXX666]

Pm you

[bi****]

avoid extreme positions anyway, who needs to be trussed up like a turkey to do kink, its fantasy nonsense half the time, and the times it is relevant (eg shibari) then the positions are safe even if they look extreme.

[Orangeconfusion]

Thanks everyone for such supportive replies. Shibari is what we were into. I fully take on board that perhaps this is not the place to ask advice about positions etc for the future and appreciate the advice to check out fetlife for more specific and specialised advice. 

 

I am pleased that this has prompted some careful thinking about setting up predicaments etc. just to be clear I didn’t know at the time that the damage was happening, I have safe words and he did always respect their use in scenes.   In hindsight I did feel my sciatic nerve being triggered but I didn’t know what it was… until it was too late.

 

Wishing you all a safe, sexy and  consensual festive time. 🍊🤔

[Orangeconfusion]

My surgery was microdiscectomy. No rods or metal, just shaving the herniated part of the disc after untangling it from my sciatic nerve. I have a four cm scar on my lower back now. 

[MrJim]

When learning the art of Shibari you learn about the body and the nerve paths to avoid. It’s not just making fancy knots, there is a lot of learning involved that is about safety of your sub/ropebunny involved too. The rigger is responsible for subs safety but the sub also has the responsibility to let the rigger know if they are having problems. With all of that said if you are concerned about your back you should refrain from doing anything that might cause problems that could wind up being permanent or debilitating. There are ways to be restrained without causing back issues I would recommend trying them if you require it as part of your kink.

[Deleted Member]

Never mind restraint, any activity can cause this kind of ***. Which is why exercise which prepares the body for its daily movements, especially if carrying weight is important. Therefore I would suggest that anyone practicing activity which taxes the spine or any of the body’s structural mechanics should prepare with appropriate exercise and flexing. For example, sit on a sofa for hours then offer oneself for binding into a straining position and your asking for immediate trouble. Doesn’t even need to be an activity so unusual, simple sex positions might be just as problematic as I’m sure many would bare witness to. Take great care in your play, ultimately you have personal responsibility. 

[Myia]

I used to think my chest problem was caused by restraints but this was back when I still kept that side of me a secret so I didn’t tell that to anyone

[Deleted Member]

I injured my back. Listen to oldfellow. Who will pay for your rent, food and medical care. Your back comes first!