**TW** Equivocation……

[PixieDust]

Precursor: I write poems for all different reasons; some capture my feelings and imagination at the time, some try to capture the essence and or situations of those I see from afar.  This poem is one of the latter and comes with a ** trigger warning for depression and suicidal thoughts ** so please be mindful of this if you wish to read further. If you are struggling with similar, I encourage you to reach out to a friend or medical professional for support. 

 

Equivocation……

 

Is there no one to take the demons away?

All they do is make you inwardly sway.   

Your thoughts start to unravel.

It feels like you are dragging through molten gravel.

You claw and internally fight,

but you have lost all your will and your might.

Darkness endlessly consumes.

You can smell its futile fumes.

The sun no longer shines.

Its buried deep, between the lines.

You reach for the bottle and the pills are there.

One quick swallow will kill the despair.

The devils are wickedly willing you on.

You are broken and forgone.

Your light has slowly dwindled.

Can it ever be rekindled?

You dance this constant round,

all-consuming but never profound.

Your head sings a very dark tune.

It feels like you have been deeply harpooned.

You wrestle with these bad thoughts.

They are rapid and they are fraught.

You juggle and flounder.

It’s a forever all-rounder.

A friend reaches from within.

They have been there, they are akin.

They envelope you in their love.

Is this hope or a sign from above?

You see their beacon from afar.

That is your light, that is your star.

Brightness slowly starts to appear.

As you peek out, as you try to steer.

The course is not an easy one to follow.

But step by step you leave the sorrow.

A deep breath from down inside.

Once more you come back outside.

You put your demons for now, to their bed.

But will they return? It’s your one constant dread.

You throw their shackles to the ground.

Today you would go on to live another round……

 

[li****]

This!!!!! Sis!!!! This has to be the best poem you've written so far and that's saying something. This hit home for me as I've suffered terribly with depression and have tried to kill myself not once but twice. I did get help and I am better now but many people don't,  won't or can't ask for help 😔 this saddens me. 

 

Thank you for giving me the privilege of reading this first and asking me about my triggers this poem is just simply beautiful yet so heartbreaking ❤️ love you sis 👯‍♀️ thank you for bringing this poem here so people can read this and get the help they need if they can.

[He****]

I'm sitting here reading this with water streaming from my eyes, I'm once again listening to music and now I know what I need to listen to. Beautifully written

[Deleted Member]

I have tears in my eyes. I can feel the *** that once was and the strength to get up and keep going. Well written.

[PebblePebble]

my partner has had a massive breakdown, this writing resonates xx

[Surferdaddy]

Not going to sit here and waste time with blustered euphemisms and polished accolades... But I will say this/ for those of us/ who know what it is/ I'm digging what you're scribing girl /stay putting that pen to paper/ just like this/ your syntax
is strong / eternally tell us/ we CAN /rewrite the script

[Ki****]

Good job on this

[do****]

11 hours ago, Surferdaddy said:

Not going to sit here and waste time with blustered euphemisms and polished accolades... But I will say this/ for those of us/ who know what it is/ I'm digging what you're scribing girl /stay putting that pen to paper/ just like this/ your syntax
is strong / eternally tell us/ we CAN /rewrite the script

Yes Pixie, he really sums it up. So profound and vivid. So many emotions are put on display to bare witness to reality. Thank you

[Deleted Member]

I am captivated. Such struggles need more air time, thank you so much for sharing.

[ILOVESHVDPIE69]

you got great skills in writing! For sure, i hope you have a job doing this! if not you should!