Very New And Slightly Confused

[Deleted Member]

So I got introduced to BDSM by a friend and I’m grateful to her for that because everything makes so much more sense now. The problem is because I’m new I know the feelings I’m looking for but it’s been hard to really put it into words. I’ve run across a few Doms that felt right but ended up not working out. I was talking to a male coworker/friend and come to find out he’s interested in exploring BDSM as well. How do I tell if he’s actually interested in being a Dom or just got excited by the conversation? Also should I not pursue this with him because we are both new? Should I just stick with finding an experienced Dom? Part of me feels he’s naturally Dominant and this would be a good fit but there’s a lot to learn on both sides I just don’t know if this is something we should be getting into yet even tho I really really want to 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️.

[Su****]

Learning by experience in this situation could be good and bad.... you gotta get your feet wet to really create your wave....then you'll know what floats your boat

[Deleted Member]

It depends on how much you trust him. Trust is absolutely critical. Especially in a D/s dynamic.

[Ca****]

I’m a believer on “not sh**ting where you sleep”. I would pursue someone outside of work. If he rejected you, it could change the friendship you had prior. The people in the relationship should learn from each other and communicate. I would educate myself more on the do’s and don’ts of bdsm, in case the other person does something that can cause harm, you can intervene and show the proper way. (If they are new to bdsm)

[ad****]

Conversations are critical. Ask your potential Dom open ended questions and see if you get a response you are looking for. Sometimes for both the D/s it is almost like an interview before getting into things. But respect your self and don’t settle. Be open to explore and communicate likes and dislikes of each meeting.

[Do****]

I agree. I think relationships with coworkers is a bad idea. (Not to mention against company policy almost everywhere.)

[Deleted Member]

Yeah, I don't get involved with anyone at work. I learned in my 20s that you don't bring the freak show to work. All the best to you.

[Tr****]

Coworker is never a good idea. If anything goes wrong, you're ***d to be around them. Then it becomes a question of who is going to rock the bosses boat the most and get an oar to the face right before a boot out the front door. Proceed at your own peril.

[Krakt1]

If you feel this person is naturally Dominant, then it might be what you are looking for. This way you could explore the lifestyle together and learn each other's wants and needs together. I am a true Dom and my sub found me. She had been in the lifestyle for 15 years searching for a real Dom. She tells me I fell in her lap because I had absolutely no idea of the lifestyle for a long time. When she finally convinced me to look into BDSM, I found out everything to do with being a Dom was exactly myself to a "T". She had submitted to me without telling me well before I ever understood what she was doing. I had been learning her for a long time, her wants and needs. Stepping up gradually play time. This is all characteristics of a Dom. Explore the lifestyle together and see where it leads. Maybe exactly what your looking for