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:1787133733,6879721, Honestly, it sounds like being in this role is a little intimidating due to this specific person not making fun the way it is intended for you. If you are uncomfortable speak your mind, your opinion matters. Plus being a Dominant is to be in control. Crack Read more… the whip and tell them there needs to be boundaries and you message first. Make them beg for your attention and forgiveness. I know you have it in you. You got this .. if you need help, I’m a message away.
Thank you.
Yes, there appears to be a lack of discipline/obedience, and I do suspect that I will need to crack the whip to ensure the boundaries are adhered to, as my slave appears to want to move the boundaries after setting them because his body has reacted more than he expected it to. To do so would be to breach the boundary we agreed to in the first place.
I am getting used to the idea of cuffing, gagging, and blindfolding him and then driving him around town while he is in the boot of my car, but I draw the line at having to explain to a police officer what he is doing there if I am pulled over and they ask to look in the boot. I could imagine our local paper headlines now. lol
Local 6 ft 4 man is found gagged, cuffed, blindfolded, and dressed up in the boot of a woman's car. Police say they stopped a ***ing in progress.
The morning I met my slave, I woke up and had the thought go through my mind to turn my spare room into a dungeon and to be a dominatrix. I dismissed it and didn't expect to be asked to be exactly this before the day was over.
Yes, it is a little intimidating, but I can see that he is starting to embrace his kinks and fetishes while beginning to accept himself and the aspects that he ***s judgement for.
Witnessing this makes me smile, and it pleases me.
Recently, I was asked to be a Dom for a male who defines himself as a slave or as being owned by me when I said that we would see how it goes, because I understand it to be a mutual relationship where both parties have their needs met within the roles they have. However, it appears to be more Read more…about the slave than it is about the mistress.
I have only ever been a paid voyeur for a Mistress within a private practice. Within this, the Dom was paid for her time and experience, as was I for my limited role.
I understand that it is different when there is a mutually beneficial relationship. Still, I am struggling to understand how I, as a mistress, am benefiting from the relationship as it currently is, and I suspect it is because it is not only I who is inexperienced in this role, but I suspect that he is too.
Initially, he wanted a contract, whereas I wanted to make sure I was comfortable meeting his expectations and that I could take on owning another person.
Interestingly, I am messaged from morning through the day until the night/bedtime by my slave. This appears to be quite a lot of contact.
He has a vanilla partner, and I am recently single. There is no sex involved.
I would appreciate advice from those who have had experience in this area to ensure that I understand how this type of relationship works.
Sometimes it is a case where the conversation flows easily, and you both get into a groove where it is a two-way conversation.
Honesty is appealing.
I have a genuine interest in others, but I enjoy it when someone also has a genuine interest in me, and the conversation doesn't revolve solely Read more… around them or me.
I lose interest really quickly if it becomes a case of one-upmanship.
Without wishing to be accused of being a gatekeeper again Ownership was typically something that was built up towards over a long period of time - some would call it "earned" but then in reality, relationships like this take a long time to build with a lot of trial Read more… and error on what works for each of you, and what doesn't.
There is a kinda issue that (speaking entirely from a F/m perspective) is there are a lot of those who are m who like the fantasy/idea of ownership without wishing to go through the time and effort required to build and maintain a relationship : likewise there are some who are F who think they have to own a sub and again might rush to offer or own someone - in either case it often leads to a lot of burnout and one or both left wondering how this arrangement actually benefits them - and 'benefits' can simply being enjoying the dynamic they have with that person. So if the dynamic or person is wrong, it won't be enjoyable.
If the partner of the OP has a vanilla partner, my question has to be if this v.partner is aware of the arrangement. If she is not it is cheating, regardless of if there is sex involved or not (because if she was ok with it, why isn't she aware?!) especially as someone is effectively pledging they are owned by another person (a scenario not impossible in 'ethical' non-monogamy - but his partner not being aware means it wouldn't be 'ethical') and so it feels like he has a lovely vanilla partner, but has fantasies about "being owned" so is texting you behind her back as means to get off. This is a big reason why the OP is not getting enjoyment, she is being used.
This is not an uncommon set up with some of the whole "online domination" but the difference there is he would be paying someone for access and it certainly would't be unlimited texts unless for a premium price. He doesn't want ownership, he wants the fantasy of being owned, and so OP - yeah, if you're enjoying this it's time to close the lid because it's not going to get any better.
The first issue is that it equates housework as being "womans work" or "submissive" like the guy Read more… is somehow doing a great service by doing their fair share of housework. Obviously, of course, exceptions apply and so if for example someone comes over once or twice a week to do a deep clean, or gardening, or whatever then it is slightly different - but it does tie in with the next issue
Obviously punishment is a common trope in kink, but it's something which can be exhausting. So this guy comes over, does a sloppy job of cleaning the house - the house STILL needs to be clean, so it's been of no real assistance AND the Domme now has to also take time to not only do the cleaning, but also punish him.
And honestly, this is the exact type of problem folk like the OP wind up into when they find it is not enjoyable for them.
I guess perhaps, like, if someone hired a cook/cleaner/gardener/etc and they did a poor job they simply don't get invited back. And perhaps that is the best incentive.... OK, I own you, come round do these things for me - if you do a bad job, lose my number. If you do a good job you can come again next time.