Idk who needs to hear this but....

[Deleted Member]

Kink & BDSM doesnt always have to be sexual constantly 🗣🗣🗣🗣

[Concupiscent]

I agree..

[in****]

I’ll do you one better! Bdsm doesn’t have to be sexual at all.

[Sa****]

If there was no sexual component then it would just be *** wouldn't it? 😆

[Spanker1971]

I also feel financial transactions should be kept out of it as well.

[in****]

8 minutes ago, SavageSamOKC said:

If there was no sexual component then it would just be *** wouldn't it? 😆

Not at all. Some people enjoy the power exchange, some like the endorphin release. To say there must be a sexual component means anyone identifying as asexual is automatically excluded, which is ridiculous! People go to bdsm club nights, where sex and sexual acts are prohibited and enjoy impact scenes for the impact itself. That’s the beauty of kink, it’s customisable.

[Sa****]

I can see how that could be tittilating for some...but without release I would find that extremely frustrating...but different strokes for different folks and all. I see and concede your point ...

[Deleted Member]

Agreed it's the service that excites

[Hermetic]

Totally. Not a lot of people I play with get this. Yet many of my favorite play partners were not sexual partners. Flogging/caning and more elaborate rope bondage in particular lend themselves to this.

Caregiving for a little is more impactful when you pat them on the head, tell them they are a good girl, and send them home unmolested. In future playdates that allows them do sink deeper into littlespace. It also makes the eventual sexual contact - say on the 3rd or 5th playdate that much more jarring.

Also, while it is not my kink, CFNM *** scenes should almost never feature sexual contact.

[Tr****]

Say it louder for the people at the back 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Deleted Member]

Exactly. And BDSM definitely doesn't have to revolve only around the genitals and anus. The "brain clitoris" can sometimes be much more interesting to masturbate than the one in underpants. (Dick too) 🙂

[Mr--Sir]

Sex is just a byproduct of the dynamic, not the focus.

[Deleted Member]

Allow different people like what they want, if you want BDSM beyond sex and penetration that’s fine( I have seen people who enjoy *** and pleasure beyond sex . The discipline it gives them) but they are also people that see bdsm as strictly sexual learn to understand the dynamic and likes of different people

[Deleted Member]

Whether sex is an important & integral part of a bdsm dynamic is up to the individuals within the dynamic, if sex is important then that's up to them & no place for anyone else to say it should or shouldn't be

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, indyindyindy said:

I’ll do you one better! Bdsm doesn’t have to be sexual at all.

YES YES ♡♡♡ THIS

[LetsHaveFunShallWe]

I think we know who needs to hear it....

[sardonicus87]

I'll take it even further... you can play with people you're not dating or in some kind of romantic relationship with. I know some people have to have a romantic relationship component and can't play casually, and that's fine... but too many seem to think it HAS to be that way, your one and only everything.

[sardonicus87]

Like, I've had people in the scene judge me for looking for play because I am married, even though my wife is in the scene, is fine with it, and has no problems meeting them face to face if need be to prove it's fine. But I have been told many times it's wrong for me to be looking for play while I am married. And this was people going out of their way, not people I contacted asking if they wanted to play.

[do****]

This is definitely something people need to hear. The funny thing is, you have some people that for one reason or another believe sex is the cornerstone of BDSM and it's not. It's a by product like someone else stated. I laugh when women call me weird or not a Dom because I do not talk about sex from the gate. Mind always over matter, if not, the matter won't matter.

[ey****]

20 hours ago, SavageSamOKC said:

If there was no sexual component then it would just be *** wouldn't it? 😆

it depends on how narrowly you view kink and BDSM

if you only think in terms of play time - then - well, even then a lot of people indulge in some play for the intimacy, or for the endorphins, or fun.  

But there's often more, especially in BDSM, than just play time anyway.

 

Mind, something often to remember is that just because something isn't sexual to one person, doesn't mean it is to the next - and vice versa.    And that just because something isn't sexual at the time, but someone later orgasms thinking back to it would probably mean it was somewhat sexual.

I've frequently had play dates or film days etc. where I've come back and especially if I didn't cum on those days, then - well, my wife enjoys the mood I'm back in.

[Nocturne]

On 7/26/2023 at 11:59 AM, SavageSamOKC said:

If there was no sexual component then it would just be *** wouldn't it? 😆

*** would lack intimacy, and sex is not the only form of intimacy. Personally, intimacy to me tends to mean a power exchange, SM, physical touch (without a sexual component) and an emotional bond, not all necessarily from the same person though if it were so it would be quite a perfect arrangement.

Sexual connections are one of the many ways people can feel an interest in each other but far from the only one, I find the intimacy of BDSM far more interesting than any sexual connection. 

Then again, every person has their own personal preferences, it's understandable that the association of sex and BDSM runs high given many people do view BDSM as inherently sexual.