Safety

[Deleted Member]

How do I know a master who contacts you is the real deal, and not a worthless ***r who’s only after someone to *** or who’s after my ***? What warning signs should I look for?

[BigPolly]

In short ‘you don’t’ sadly. You have to go on instinct many times & as time go on your instincts & experience will strengthen. Some people may ask for a donation towards their services or for you to buy your own toys or to pay towards a room & that’s fair enough but avoid those that insist you use their chosen website, their chosen room or sex hotel or asks for large funds upfront. If you are talking to someone on here, find people who would talk to you initially as if they were face face with respect & no demands. Do not go off site (to Kik or WhatsApp etc) to talk until you feel you are comfortable. I’ve had many strike up a conversation who as soon as they say ‘let’s talk on kik’ & I refuse, they don’t contact me again. I won’t speak to anyone who doesn’t have a profile picture. Some people have good reasons for not having a picture ie work, partners etc but for me personally that’s a big no. Remember you are in charge of your own submission initially, without your gift of submission someone cannot Dom so it should be an equal agreement on all levels with limits being set (unless you are a slave & give up your rights to limits) so DON’T let anyone bully you, tell you you should be doing something you’re not comfortable with, take photos etc without your consent....you have a right to say NO to anything you don’t want to & anyone who tells you you don’t is an ***r. If you have a BDSM community around you then people tend to know each other & this is quite helpful when meeting a stranger. In any walk of life it is hard to know if the people you first meet are real etc & we all get bitten on the bum at some point but that’s how we learn. 🌞

[ey****]

I wrote this post on the forum a while ago...

 

[ey****]

But, otherwise... trust takes time - the person in your inbox could be anyone - what else can you find to build a picture about them? If they're active on the forums or in the chat that might give a little bit more insight - but, yeah, trust takes time to build.   It's a case of looking out for red flags and otherwise just taking things with a hint of scepticism 

[MasterScorpio]

All you can do is follow instincts and watch for signs. Do not get into anything long term until both of you know exactly what is going to happen this is especially true concerning assets. If he/she wants to cut you off from outside world it is a very bad sign. If they do not want you to make safe call bad situation . If they do not want you to tell family exactly where you are that is worse than bad situation. Do not go into any kind of live in or long term situation without a contract stating exact requirements, conditions and responsibilities. Do not commit to financial control unless you are very sure about where you want to be and expect to be there for a very long time.

[Deleted Member]

You guys are awesome!! Thank you so much for your good advice! I’ll take then to heart!

[Deleted Member]

If he or more probably she asks for your bank details when you've rejected her PayPal account link on the second message I think there might be something to be on guard about. I mean who hasn't got a sick grandmother urgently needing treatment. It's totally plausible. I just offer to crowd fund it for them or run a marathon. *** is amother issue. I'm sure a sadist I met ***d me but 20 years on I'm over the divorce. And have no debt now.

[Deleted Member]

Just from personal experience, the best way to judge someone especially a Master or Mistress, is to see how pushy they are. A really good Master or Mistress will want to get to know you well and understand your needs in very fine details, as the more they know you the better they can tailor their craft to you, thus the better you will respond to them, and not end up walking away on them through neglect. They will ask about your experiences, limits, and if you say no limits they should question that immediately. Even a true sadist in the heat of delivering that sweet pleasured excruciating *** will always have your health and safety at heart, and if you don't sense that at all times, stay well clear. As for *** Dom/mes, a good one will never contact you looking for business, they will advertise themselves so people come to them, anyone that contacts you on the likes of these sites asking for any *** are probably a load of **** and to be avoided at all costs. And always remember, trust your gut, if your first sense is not 100% trust, stay well clear, the gut always knows, just most times most people don't take heed of it.

[KCurious]

You just know it ...