Tell me your kinkiest joke

[Co****]

I’ll go first:

My wife calls me “Tripod” … because whenever we have a 3some it’s my job to hold the camera!

[Ro****]

Whats the difference between a bdsm slavegirl, and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it…

[RossJacks]

I'm taking BDSM classes
and the normal teacher is out this week so we've got a sub.

Dad finds a BDSM toys set in his daughter's room
"Well, I'm assuming that punishing you is pointless..."

[do****]

A Bull, a Slut, and a Cuck walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What are we drinking?". The Bull looks at the Slut and says, "I'm feeling like an Anal Tornado". The Slut looks at the Bull and says, "I just love your Gag Until I Squirt". The bartender looks at the Cuck and says, "How about you little fella?" The Cuck says with glee, "I'll just watch and clean up if they need me".

[Attaboy4u]

What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the chicken.

[do****]

2 minutes ago, Attaboy4u said:

What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the chicken.

😂😂😂

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, RogueRunner1 said:

Whats the difference between a bdsm slavegirl, and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it…

I really like that one 😂

[Ma****]

The dildo of consequences early arrives lubed.
-Buddha

[Jamlpez]

My lesbian friend got me a gold watch for my birthday, I think she misunderstood when I said could I watch

[Clarakink]

Not a joke so much as an observation.
There is a selection of golfing vids on tic toc etc called whack fuck!
Hit it and its a fuck up.i think it must have been started by a sado like me.
It's what I love! Whack, then fuck. Lol

[Clarakink]

Oldie and cheesy...
Went did the sub cross the road?
Because his Domme told him to.

[Sweetestsadist]

Guy says to the librarian: Have you received the book about men with tiny penises?
The librarian says: Well, I'm not sure if it's in yet.

[Al****]

Keep them coming!

[Dionysus80]

Someone needs to start a club for middle aged women to find and gather younger men to take home and have sex with in front of their husbands,

 

Call it the "Coug, Cucks Clan"

[Co****]

My aunt drives around Canada picking up younger men. She’s a VanCougar!

[Al****]

Uuuuuhhhhhhh😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Angelis_Mortis]

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Gawwk gawwwwwk.

[Attaboy4u]

An old man is having a house call by his doctor. They always go for a walk and the old man takes his hunting gun. With his cane he walks out the door together. Doc asks how he's doing, the old man tells him he's got a 20 year old girlfriend. Doc says wow that's amazing, unbelievable even. Old man says she's pregnant with my baby....As they sit looking for game, the old man spots a magnificent beaver 🤗... he tries to shoot it, but realized that he thought his cane was his gun. So he aims anyway and shoots. At the same time two shots are heard and the beaver twitches and falls dead.  The doc says, you know, I think someone has shot a couple rounds into your beaver 

Edited October 3, 2023 by Attaboy4u

[Santiago01754]

A biker pulls up to a roadhouse bar. He pulls up a stool and orders a long neck Bud and as he sips it he sees a sign that says. TAKE THE CHALLENGE FREE BEER FOR A MONTH IF YOU WIN.
So he asks the bartender.

The bartender explains there are three parts.
1. You gotta drink a bottle of pepper flavored tequila straight down and you can't make any faces.
2. There's an alligator in the office with a bad tooth. You gotta take it out using nothing but your bare hands.
3. There's a woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You gotta go up there and give her one.

The biker thinks on it and agrees. He downs the tequila and makes no faces. Then goes into the office and closes the door. There is a lot of crashing, hissing, hold on theres, dammits and finally silence. He comes out shirt ripped to shreds pants torn off and ***y all over.
He staggers over to the bartender and asks, "Now where is this woman with the bad tooth?"