Tasks/orders..

[Deleted Member]

I'm extremely new to the type of dynamic I am in, like it's my first time in this role, and I am struggling a bit, actually quite a lot. We have talked, but I'd still like some other opinions on whether how I feel is normal within the dynamic or if it is something I need to work on by myself.
So I am a very happy person, I love myself, my life, my body etc. It may not be perfect, but my heart is pure, and my intentions are always for the best.
Recently, I have been set less tasks by my owner, and it has left me feeling extremely unsatisfied, both within myself and within the dynamic.
Is this normal? How does a slave ask for more when their purpose is to just serve and be content with what they are told to do.
Please be kind, I am still learning my role and place in this dynamic.

[Ne****]

You need a red table . A place where you can talk to your Master with out fear. Once tht is established you should air your mind.

[Ca****]

I don't mean this in a bad way, but maybe slave/owner just isn't the place for you. And that's not a bad thing at all. It sounds like maybe things are a bit one sided in the dynamic, which isn't necessarily uncommon.

[ko****]

Are you wanting to serve your dom more?

[jo****]

If you need/desire a more firm hand period you are within your rights to let him know.

[Ha****]

If you’re unsatisfied this is something you need to express immediately, if the dissatisfaction is with the nature of the tasks have an open and honest conversation about what you would like to experience and what you are particularly looking for in the dynamic because these exchanges work both ways, regardless of the nature of the role you wish to fill consent is always active always must be enthusiastic, all the same don’t force your dominant to completely cater to you, instead talk about what grounds you both like to cover and start there, because that is the only way anyone can truly be satisfied within a 2 person dynamic.

Counter to this, if you are dissatisfied with the nature of the role this must also be expressed, returning to the consent is always active point I’ve already made, if you are being forced into headspaces and roles you do not enjoy this can be incredibly mentally jarring and indicative of abusive behaviours. Be safe and I hope it all works out for you!

[bo****]

The dynamic does not exist without open communication. Even as a slave, your needs are important as well. I found a youtube channel called submissive society that has alot of wonderful material taught by a sub that has been in a long term master/slave dynamic. This is one of the topics she covered in an episode. Check out that resource, it may help you. I also advise to speak with your owner in an open dialogue to discuss your feelings and your needs.

[Mi****]

I highly recommend the podcast The Submissive Guide and the episode on active submission as a place to start. I’ll comment more when I can.

[Pl****]

Is this "owner" abusing his power? Ask yourself that? If it's more controlling and not catering or nurturing your needs or after Care then he's probably not the right fit. Communication is key

[do****]

Active submission necessitates a lot of trust and communication with your owner. You basically want your Master to say "you're smart. You have a brain. It's mine, and I want to use it." In order for them to use your intelligence as an extension of their own, you need to know enough about their life and their wants and needs that you can act independently to achieve those. They need to communicate clearly with you. Then they need to trust that you are so deeply committed to their service that even your conscious, intelligent actions taken "independently" are still done with their happiness as your first priority.

That's the ideal, anyways. Of course there are a lot of barriers to achieving that ideal, but it is worth pursuing. Believe me when I say there's no feeling like surprising a Dom with an act of intelligent and creative submission.

[Da****]

Less tasks means more time to be bratty. I’m sure your Dom/Owner will notice when you start acting slightly differently. At which point you will be able to better understand why he has set less tasks.
Maybe this isn’t about you, but more about what he is going through. :)

[la****]

I’d say just ask to have a chat and be honest with how you’re feeling. You may find that your partner has other things going on, you may find that your dynamic needs to adjust slightly, there are any number of reasons for this, or potential solutions you could explore together…but communication, communication, communication has to happen first. Talk to them!!!

[bb****]

You need to take a look at your situation and make sure you're not being abused. Because it sounds like you're being abused.

[Mi****]

2 hours ago, bbbucka said:

You need to take a look at your situation and make sure you're not being abused. Because it sounds like you're being abused.

What makes you say that? I don’t see any evidence of abuse in the original post.

[Mi****]

7 hours ago, DarkType13 said:

Less tasks means more time to be bratty. I’m sure your Dom/Owner will notice when you start acting slightly differently. At which point you will be able to better understand why he has set less tasks.
Maybe this isn’t about you, but more about what he is going through. :)

Assuming being bratty is something that has been consented to in their dynamic. A meta talk about needs and expectations is likely to be much more effective

[Deleted Member]

So I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who took the time to read and respond. Some really interesting opinions, thoughts and helpful advice (and some not so). The main thing I took away from this was communication is key. And after a really really long open and honest talk, I'm not afraid to hold my hands up and say when I'm wrong. And it turns out that the breakdown in communication was actually on my side. Having spent many many hours talking it through and rediscovering our boundaries, wants and needs etc, I'm excited again to see where things go from here. Please do continue to reply though. I've really enjoyed reading everyone's feedback on this and as a faliable human, I'm always eager to learn and better myself through listening to others. Thanks again!

[Vi****]

I would say that the best thing to do is talk to your Master. Any Master worth their grain of salt will be happy to talk with you about any concerns you have or questions around the dynamic. I would also say, keep learning. Read, watch videos. And trust your instincts. Just because it is a dynamic / kink does not mean that the same red flags you would watch for in the vanilla world don't apply here. Consent is everything. Yes, even in a Master/slave role. The parameters might look slightly different depending on the intensity of your dynamic and levels of protocol, but you should always know what it is you're agreeing to, it should always be made clear and be discussed, and you should always have a way of removing consent. (*Even if it only temporarily while you work through say trauma or have outside commitments etc - for example kids*). There are some amazing resources out there. DM me if you would like some of mine? I don't mind sharing. 😊

[Mi****]

2 hours ago, kookie28 said:

So I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who took the time to read and respond. Some really interesting opinions, thoughts and helpful advice (and some not so). The main thing I took away from this was communication is key. And after a really really long open and honest talk, I'm not afraid to hold my hands up and say when I'm wrong. And it turns out that the breakdown in communication was actually on my side. Having spent many many hours talking it through and rediscovering our boundaries, wants and needs etc, I'm excited again to see where things go from here. Please do continue to reply though. I've really enjoyed reading everyone's feedback on this and as a faliable human, I'm always eager to learn and better myself through listening to others. Thanks again!

I’m so glad you were able to talk through your concerns with your owner and that you are feeling a renewed excitement about the dynamic.

[oh****]

My experience: As someone who’s also a newbie wanting more, I have been told that too much too fast isn’t always good, in this dynamic and life in general. He’s helping me to see that I should focus on and master my tasks and grow with them before piling on new stuff. I have to keep reminding myself that he knows I want more (as I’ve communicated to him) and he will give it to me when I’m ready. I try to see it as an exercise in patience, too, as I have a habit of seeking intense and immediate gratification.

[Py****]

Communication, there is NOTHING at all wrong with communicating those wants from your Dom.

[no****]

Yes as a dom to much to fast is a problem there is an over stimulation that happens there is a fine line between pain and pleasure it’s better to ease into it takes about 8 months to create the perfect sub. That can handle anything she wants and you like to do. But it’s a trust thing. The more you get into the more you need to learn this is a life style because there is always more.

[Do****]

Im sorry to be blunt, id say bear with it. Everyone else so far seems to be correct about it being too much too soon. If im not misreading the situation, then i think i understand. Communicate your wants/ needs clearly, and never presume that theyre doing anything to hurt you in any way shape or form. Ask for more work to do if you wish, but understand that could be a lot more than you're expecting

[Deleted Member]

Being a Dom doesn't make you infallible. Being a slave doesn't mean you allow the Dom to do or not do whatever they want.
For any relationship dynamic to work there must be a constant flow of positive communication.
Humans are fluid and changeable creatures, our needs and wants are always evolving and if we don't communicate this then all parties will be left feeling unsatisfied and the relationship is out at risk.

Wishing you the best of luck on your journey 💙

[Deleted Member]

1. Consider spending a few days apart to reflect on your individual wants and needs.
2. Afterward, come together for a discussion.
3. Take another week apart to assess how you feel and whether you want to make changes.
4. If you have a contract as a slave, ensure both sides are meeting its terms.
5. Withdrawal of tasks from a Dom or Top may indicate uncertainty about your needs.
6. Ask them why they've pulled back on tasks; it could be work, feeling overwhelmed, or health issues.
7. Prioritize open and judgment-free communication in your dynamic for a healthy connection.