Thoughts abt online dynamics? (Especially littles)

[ra****]

Recently I’ve been really into the idea of being a caregiver, but due to current circumstances I can’t really live with a little. I feel like it would be easier to have a full online dynamic but I don’t know how well that would work. Anyone have experience with this?

[Deleted Member]

I’m not a fan of online dynamics. These dynamics are centered around trust and consent, and imo, trust can’t be build online. Deception is easier to achieve on the internet compared to in-person interactions.

[De****]

As someone that is constantly moving, the time I do have for physical dynamics is reduced, even though I always try to make the best out of time together.

Please remember that littles require a lot of attention so, even if you are not physically there, you must always be reachable, and when I say always is always, from 2 pm to 2am.

The question would be, why can't you be physically with someone? Will this be an impediments in your ability to communicate? Will you be restricted in some way?

[Deleted Member]

I’ve had extensive online only D/s relationships. Trust can be built, it’s just a relationship of a different nature. I like it in addition to in person relationships I have. It’s a different flavor of the D/s dynamic

[Hy****]

There’s actually a lot more demand for this than you might think. You can find littles on BDSM sites and roleplay sites (F-list, discord, etc). A lot of littles are neurodiverse and are looking for care without physical intimacy, or looking for simulation of this thing they’re afraid to engage with.

First of all, even if you can’t host, you can still caretake. If you’re good at it and you fulfill a need they have that nets them a positive emotional outcome consistently, people will make room in their life for you.

I spent a decade online doing what you want to do. I was a social pariah in high school and now I’m an accomplished Dom of several accomplished women, and my time spent online was the foundation of that. The skills you learn are directly transferable to dating, and it allows you to see people through their profiles, read intention through text, detect lies and know your quarry. Online, people will lie about who they are, but generally not about what they want, the opposite of real life. When it comes time to date, bridging the gap between the two is easy, and your communication skills will place you at the top of people’s sweaty, semen-encrusted inboxes.

That all being said, in my experience, people that seek online communication first are… cowardly? Maybe that’s too harsh, but I don’t think it’s always wrong. They’re almost certainly avoidant. Not that doing online stuff online isn’t useful, but it plateaus in it’s usefulness one you learn how to hook people. Most littlest who use internet development will hide behind the screen because they are particularly prone to rejection, and rarely have intention of bridging the gap to in person meeting. I absolutely don’t recommend using this route to lead to intimacy results. It can happen, but it’s just so much easier, leas bullshit, to date people who are ready to engage.

I know, I know. Late stage capitalism. Men suck. Dating sucks and is expensive. Tinder is f**king terrible and Feeld, while better, is still prone to same online dating hamster wheels. This site, in spite of its best efforts to host a progressives crowd, is full of maladjusted manbaby tradwife chasers and f**kbois. (I realize I’m framing this heteronormatively, tbut that’s my wheelhouse, queer folk can extrapolate as they need because they’ll get it)

People are meant to be together. Yes that goes for wierdo neurodivergent people with only two spoons, too. Unless you’re schiszoid, situation normal for humans is being around others familiar with you and your troubles. Online isn’t that. The parasocial bonds can help you find yourself and how to negotiate getting what you want, teach you how to read people and communicate with intention, but it won’t get you hugs.

The world is cold and lonely without hugs. And dangerous.

[Deleted Member]

I have a virtual little and a hybrid little.

1. Both are aware of the other.
2. Both get equal attention from me.
3. I'm a a 24/7 daddy, so I never turn off. I'm always available.
4. You need to be extremely patient, gentle, and nurturing all day every day to compensate for a lack of physical affection.

[Hy****]

1 hour ago, DevMorgoth said:

As someone that is constantly moving, the time I do have for physical dynamics is reduced, even though I always try to make the best out of time together.

Please remember that littles require a lot of attention so, even if you are not physically there, you must always be reachable, and when I say always is always, from 2 pm to 2am.

The question would be, why can't you be physically with someone? Will this be an impediments in your ability to communicate? Will you be restricted in some way?

I’m sorry, your job is not always to be reachable. Being emotionally accessible regularly is, But that is true of any healthy relationship. Don’t get sucked into codependent toxic dynamics. They may be a little, and you might be their caretaker, but we are adults.

[Hy****]

1 hour ago, MissJade23 said:

I’m not a fan of online dynamics. These dynamics are centered around trust and consent, and imo, trust can’t be build online. Deception is easier to achieve on the internet compared to in-person interactions.

They can be built online, but the dynamics are different in person due to accountability being difficult to verify. There are ways to do this verification, but they are really sexy and most people don’t want to do them. If a person is hiding behind a computer screen, usually it’s because there’s something they don’t want to expose. Like a relationship, or gender, or their face, or their privacy. That does not make trust mutually exclusive., but it does lead to some conflict of incentive.

[ad****]

6 hours ago, Hyrrolar said:

I’m sorry, your job is not always to be reachable. Being emotionally accessible regularly is, But that is true of any healthy relationship. Don’t get sucked into codependent toxic dynamics. They may be a little, and you might be their caretaker, but we are adults.

I both agree and disagree, it's certainly true that always available is not part of the job as it were, but, many people including myself make the choice of making it clear that we are available to our friends, partners and children 24/7. This availability comes with a great deal of trust, eg. I trust those who have my full availability will only phone me at 3am if it's a genuine emergency.
It really has nothing to do with codependency (which in itself is not toxic but I agree handled poorly can become a source of toxicity).
Yes, we are adults, but for some individuals, the very point of the little space is to not be an adult or in some cases is in that moment incapable of being an adult (including an autistic ex of mine who certainly wasn't aware of little in a kink context), this is where a good caregiver steps in and responds to the situation on it's own merits and provides what that individual needs in that moment.
For the OP, well, it depends on your style of caregivering (or love language if you like), personally I would find an online only dynamic exhausting, whereas in the room care I thrive upon. I'd recommend reflecting on prior relationships and friendships ask yourself, how do you look after those who mean the most to you, does your style of caring translate to online? will you be happy being that person entirely online?

[Tr****]

I would ask what is your perception of yourself? To give further context, i never gave much attention to a caregiver title for myself until a little approached me online. Very shy obviously, but had to coax her intentions out of her. After doing so, and giving it some thought, i realized my first question was how far away is she? That made me realize that my nature has always been that of a caregiver, but I can't translate that earnest emotion without presence. If I did, i pictured myself becoming insincere and kind of like an over the phone tech support type. So I told her the truth that I wasn't a good fit for her with no hard feelings and hoped she finds what she's looking for. Could've been a scammer for all i know honestly lol. However, the interaction gave me a clear perception of myself as a caregiver. So, i ask again, what is your perception of yourself?

[Py****]

From someone who's first little was 10,000 miles away I will say this..... It can be done! It's so so much harder to deal with a bratty little online tho, little sh**s 😂 but the dynamic can be there and fall into place.
The hardest part in my opinion, and this is what your gonna have to ask yourself and any future online partner is this........
Can you handle being that far away when feelings start to set in and you start to fall for one another......
That is the worse part, sometimes it can be manageable but other times like I my case with mine it's a very hard and hurtful thing 😓

Other than that an online does not have to be difficult at all, establish how you BOTH wish to go about it, make sure the trust is there because you do need more of it, and enjoy yourselves. Accountability can be done via pictures, video, video chats.
Example of this: in the D/s I had with someone 2hrs away, I told her it was time to get her butt up, make herself a healthy breakfast and she gets only a half cup of coffee that morning and I wanted a picture of everything sent to me when she was sitting down to eat it.
My little from over seas, she was not good about eating enough so the rule was that she had to eat at least one solid meal a day and send a picture of it when she was..... If she didn't, well she would get issued lines as a punishment again with a picture upon completion with date, time started, and time finished.

At the end of the day it's all what the two of you decide is going to work best for your personalities and your own personal dynamic