Switches

[Rajdom]

Hello all 

As a Dominant and a sadist there is lots of literature about being One. 

This is a subject I would love any information on to delve deeper into. 

1. SWITCHES 

 

As I've found very little information on how switches lead there lifestyle in the sense of when and how the Switch works so to Speak, It's a subject that few places if any have had switches talk about how they interact with others, Forgive me if I'm missing anything but I've found very little on the subject as a whole. About congnetive thought process I would like any help if possible on this subject 🙏 fellow kinksters. The Inner workings of Switches not being one I'm lacking in knowledge of this so any help would be appreciated. 🙏

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Hey there!

Every switch is different of course but here is an insight to my lifestyle.

I’m dominant when it comes to the relationship and more cg/DDLG

But i enjoy some submissive things. I enjoy tasking alongside my submissive, I also love orgasm denial, orgasm control, ***d orgasms, cum swapping, edging, and some other submissive things.

For me my switch is continuous. But for others it literally gets like activated. I do enjoy scenes where I start out as dominant and my submissive can’t help but flip around on me. For me it’s like a challenge to see what it takes to turn my submissive into a somewhat dominant being.

I don’t require or need submissive activities in my day to day. Some switches might as they be more submissive than me.

I view my switchynees as more primal. I love the idea of like two wolves playing around. Raw desire will flip my submissives switch. Play fighting, wrestling, and things of that nature of that makes sense.

Other switches may sway more to one side or the other.

[Deleted Member]

If you have specific questions I may be able to provide better answers:)

[Co****]

Hello! I am a verse switch with a heavy bratty bottom lean. For me, it depends on the person and the vibe they’re giving off. I like being taken care of, but there are some people that I will go “you would look so cute from the back or on your knees”

I’m trans AFAB and my dysphoria spikes in regards to pegging. Great shit artistically, but I very quickly lose the headspace if I’m not careful since my dysphoria is so literal (not being able to feel what it’s like inside the person)

Since it’s hard for me to read people (autism hello) it means me topping comes with stress and difficulties.

This has ended up where my top energy is almost exclusively through my art and teasing, and not much else. It’s not like I’m not a switch, but there are a lot of things that get in the way of that.

[ey****]

whilst a lot of roles/dynamics can be broad - switches are extra broad. 

So for example - if someone says they're a Dominant - then they might be a Sadist, Service Top, Top, Dominant, 'Daddy Dom', etc (or combination thereof)

if someone says they're submissive, they might be a submissive, bottom, masochist, etc etc etc (or combination thereof)

switches can be from anywhere on the left of the slash, with anywhere on the right

some switches like to switch with one person.    preferably another switch.

Some will be happy (or even prefer to) being submissive only towards one person, or Dominant only towards one person (either in a monogamous or poly setting)
 

I'm aware of switches who enjoy play outside of D/s dynamics - and then those who are for example, as I say, they are someone's sub (or Dominant) but then do play with others in other roles. 

[Rajdom]

Thank you all for your responses Im more interested in the cognitive side as apposed to play side. The way the mind thinks how it forms from say... Submitting one night to Dominant the next or how it holds on one knowing they could switch at any time 🤔sorta if you get what I mean  but I'm appreciating the input so far 🙏

[Deleted Member]

I don’t prefer one or the other. Just an open mind regarding fantasy and just someone who wants me.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you!

[Jaguar54]

I had a ten year D/s relationship with a lesbian. She topped with her female partner, but needed to submit to a male. We enjoyed (mutually!) full sexual contact as part of our play, and then she returned to her full-time lesbian relationship. The whole felt quite exotic to be a part of. She would describe herself as a D/s submissive, yet clearly from afar she was a switch in multiple dimensions.

@RajdomI too am unable to fathom the switch mindset. I fully accept the notion yet find it difficult to actually understand how it must feel from the inside.

I am a dominant, 100%, but when I dig deeply I sense there is a yearning to submit to someone. In a stable long-term relationship I have 'played' at switching by submitting to her, yet it was a play-act because all along I was aware that I was *allowing* her to dominate. Occasionally I have come across a woman who I sense I could submit to, had the stars aligned in that sense. It is one of the few things remaining on my bucket list, that sense of being cossetted and protected.

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Rajdom said:

or how it holds on one knowing they could switch at any time

most it's not a "switch at any time" kinda thing.    Those where it is, tend to only be with partners who also switch.

But even ignoring everything kink based - most people in society deal with different people in different ways.   If you're a 'team leader' at work then you have different ways you act towards and manage staff below you, while also having a manager to report to - and it's different again with customers or 3rd party suppliers.  

[Jaguar54]

Yes, all good points.

[Deleted Member]

To me, being a switch is a lot to do with how I perceive another person as well as how i see myself.
There's a whole background to my mindset that makes me the way that I am.
To me, it's not a case that I could just switch at any moment to being either D/s like a lightswitch, but more to how an individual makes me feel or react to them.
I think there is a wide range to being a switch, and it's not as black and white as D/s.
It's a whole lot more psychological.

It seems to me that some dominants are only capable of dominance, and some submissive are only capable of submission and as such they manifest in that way and are drawn to the opposite of their own identity.

I feel that switches can manifest in many more ways than that. Some may be submissive to one person, but completely dominant over another.
Some may be completely submissive to the wishes of their dominant in a way that allows them to be the one controlling a scene.

Switch is the best of both worlds, without the psyche of being one or the other.

Not great with words, probably make no sense to anyone but myself. 🤦‍♂️

[Jaguar54]

Thinking aloud here, suppose there was a dom/sub ometer, would switches register less than dedicated doms and sub? Or are they just as dom/sub with specific people?

[Ca****]

2 hours ago, SlightlyScaredSwitch said:

To me, being a switch is a lot to do with how I perceive another person as well as how i see myself.
There's a whole background to my mindset that makes me the way that I am.
To me, it's not a case that I could just switch at any moment to being either D/s like a lightswitch, but more to how an individual makes me feel or react to them.
I think there is a wide range to being a switch, and it's not as black and white as D/s.
It's a whole lot more psychological.

It seems to me that some dominants are only capable of dominance, and some submissive are only capable of submission and as such they manifest in that way and are drawn to the opposite of their own identity.

I feel that switches can manifest in many more ways than that. Some may be submissive to one person, but completely dominant over another.
Some may be completely submissive to the wishes of their dominant in a way that allows them to be the one controlling a scene.

Switch is the best of both worlds, without the psyche of being one or the other.

Not great with words, probably make no sense to anyone but myself. 🤦‍♂️

To piggy back off of this and agree. Switching is not black and white! I’ve been in different relationships and the “switch” didn’t switch in the middle of the relationship. It switches from partner to partner. A dominant partner can bring out my submissive side and vice versa. Switches don’t have to be with other switches. That’s a lie, especially since we’re all different. If you’re truthfully in your “role”(Dom/domme, submissive.. etc) you wouldn’t have to worry about your switch, switching. If you falter, the switch will notice, we’re more intuitive and I think that’s where the switch can happen.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, Jaguar54 said:

Thinking aloud here, suppose there was a dom/sub ometer, would switches register less than dedicated doms and sub? Or are they just as dom/sub with specific people?

the kinda problem with any form of o-meter is that even ignoring switches - there can be two Dominants who are both Dominant but different.  You wouldn't say one was "more" than the other - just different.

 

But also that there's folk who sometime 'see' folk in different ways - like "I could/would only sub with you", "I don't see you as Dominant so wouldn't wish to sub to you", " yeah I could switch with them" 

[Jaguar54]

I do believe I am beginning to get it. Every day is a school day.

[bu****]

For me it is not based on person but in role. The raw urge to Dom my Dom when he needs to be pegged, sends me into a feeding frenzy. While I can also be put back into place with the snap of a finger.
Knowing what it's like to have that dependancy and obsession with my Doms, brings a level of understanding of my own submissives. I am much more vigilant of their emotional cues because I recognize them in myself.

[de****]

As eyemblacksheep stated that the connection between the two is a lot to do with it. Not everyone would see someone else as alpha therefore they would not beta for them. I would also add the the persons general mindset for the plays a role as well. Getting intimate with someone I may feel dominant that day and submissive the next time.

Leaving the psychology out of it. In the bedroom I tend to lean more submissive and a release to me needing to be dominant outside of the bedroom