Women pleasing their partner

[vi****]

Be like me i pay and im homeless cause i cant afford a place 🤦🏻‍♂️😜

[De****]

20 minutes ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

I apologize it’s not meant to be gendered! I’m not here to bash anyone! I don’t judge. I mostly just want input on the bigger topic and that’s why do the women I know do not want to treat their partner with more respect and more affection when they want to be spoiled. It doesn’t make sense to me! I always want to touch and spoil my partner especially when he does that for me. And it can go the opposite way women who please your partner but the other doesn’t.

I can’t speak to that. That has not been my experience at all. I have had many women I know do much more for their partner than the other way around. I also think it’s about giving up different ways. Maybe they don’t give massages, but do they do other things? Do they plan the doctors visits, make calls to the dentist, budget the income, clean, cook, grocery shop, raise kids, work, do the taxes, organize the house, tip the mailman at Christmas, keep the schedules for parties and appointments? There is a lot more than flowers and massages. Maybe they are busy doing a million other things for the lives them and their partners lead. Maybe it’s not as sexy as one hour massages but it’s also worth its weight in gold.

[Th****]

22 minutes ago, Seeknwifencucks said:

Simple solution then give men custody if she can do everything without him except his *** then give him custody that way she’s completely free of caring about him if a man doesn’t pay child support he goes to jail regardless of him paying support the state gives it to her and then goes after him if the father is given custody and no support is given he’s told to work harder do better BEEN THERE DONE THAT I became a single father I did EVERYTHING my kids were well cared for and well educated so don’t come at me with this whole misogyny crap again

You would be working even if you were single, going to work isn't any great thing. You never once mentioned any sort of care or emotional support to your wiveS, plural. You keep talking about *** and working. If all someone, *anyone* thinks they have to do to contribute to a relationship is work and the very bare minimum of adulting that they would be doing even when not in a relationship, that's a problem. Your views on child support are pretty awful too. Whatever the other parent is like is irrelevant. If you have children you're responsible for them. 

[Th****]

1 hour ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

I don’t mean to make it sound sexist! Like I feel like most women (and this post was mostly aimed towards women because of the women I’ve talked to) expect more than give back. That’s what it seems with my girlfriends.

If you check again, you'll notice that comment wasn't directed at you. 

[Th****]

26 minutes ago, vic1vic said:

Be like me i pay and im homeless cause i cant afford a place 🤦🏻‍♂️😜

How does this contribute to the discussion? 

[Th****]

45 minutes ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

I apologize it’s not meant to be gendered! I’m not here to bash anyone! I don’t judge. I mostly just want input on the bigger topic and that’s why do the women I know do not want to treat their partner with more respect and more affection when they want to be spoiled. It doesn’t make sense to me! I always want to touch and spoil my partner especially when he does that for me. And it can go the opposite way women who please your partner but the other doesn’t.

And we're trying to have a discussion, no one is saying you're bashing anyone but it does seem like you might be judging people without the full story. 

What specifically does "being spoiled" mean in this context? And what is the lack of respect and affection, specifically? You don't know what happens on the inside of their relationships. Not everyone's love languages are the same, *and that's ok*. It's up to the individuals *in* a relationship to work out what they like, want and need from each other and between each other. 

The only people I know who want to be "spoiled" equally give that energy and don't withhold it just because. 

[FetMyLife]

This is lovely. You should be a marriage counsellor. Your partner must feel very loved. God bless you ❤️❤️❤️

[Fa****]

7 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

When all you offer is lowkey misogyny, you can expect to be asked a little more about your views.
.
But, actually, actual research (not opinion)
Shows that when women have partners wo take an equal share of the tasks within the home, when they feel supported (not financially, we have our own bank accounts these days) and loved and when we have the time, outside our jobs, the family admin and housework, our libido increases.
.
So many men offer little, and when they fail to see the mundane/unpaid jobs, not as jobs and how these can be exhausting creating a situation where a woman's libido decreases, they'll then you is as an excuse for extra marital relations as you suggest in you anecdote.
.
The thing is, we're quick to 'blame' women when really, it's a really easy fix.

The joys of the mental load.

 Well said.

 Personally I find that women give back what they receive, so if a man is receiving massages etc (as per the OP) the likelihood is that he’s giving his partner something (likely lightening her mental load somehow) to enable her to give something back to him.

 Simply my opinion. 

[Fa****]

7 hours ago, vic1vic said:

I was not teying to offend anyone men do the same they are mad cause most likely havent have sex and prove me wrong if im wrong … men and women that have sex often are the happy’es people compare to the person that have not have sex in a decade 🤷🏻‍♂️

Depends entirely on why they’re having sex

[Shilo66]

18 hours ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

Ok, so I’ve heard a lot of stuff from friends and others about a woman “spoiling” their partner and it’s been negative! I LOVE spoiling my partner. Giving a 45-60 min massage with massage oil. I love physical touch and I feel like this is something a woman should want to do for her hard working partner and she shouldn’t be asked to do it she should want to! Now, it doesn’t have to be a massage, it could be back scratches for them, head/hair rubs, showers together and each one wash each other, cook together etc. I feel like so many women in todays age and society EXPECT a man to spoil them but they don’t give anything in return (in the since of affection towards their man). I know men LOVE all of these things. But men won’t ask for them. Same as women expect for men to buy them flowers, plan dates etc but won’t ask for them. Maybe I’m just different but I love surprising my man with different things like a home cooked meal, a nice massage after a hard workout/work day, lots of physical touching, proud of them/encouraging them to continue reaching for their dreams and goals, and doing simple things with them (grocery shopping, watch them play their game on Xbox or ps5, tell them positive things etc). Men need to know they are loved, appreciated and know they are doing a good job protecting you (physically and mentally). What are yalls opinions? Women and men please let me know! 

First of all, I'd just like to say it's a breath of fresh air to read a post that isn't in some form or other the usual "man-bashing diatribe" we're so used to seeing here.

For me, there's NO confusion as to what you're writing about, as it's stated clearly in the title and also explained quite eloquently in the body of your text, so please stop apologising to those looking at it from their own myopic viewpoints trying to find offence. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong in you wanting to do those things for your partner. In fetish terms, what you've described is known as a '1950s style' dynamic. So when you state 'maybe I’m just different', you're not alone in your views, and last I checked, you had at least 37 others agreeing with you on a post that's barely 24 hrs old. 

Back on topic, in my opinion, you are absolutely correct about those double-standards, the lack of appreciation and the lack of encouragement as you've mentioned. They're the reasons why so many relationships break down.

Luckily, these days, thanks to the internet providing more information about how relationships should be, many 'good guys' in those situations know that they don't have to put up with such behaviour and will look elsewhere for those needs, and happily, are finding them in new partners with similar viewpoints as yourself.  

The caveat from a female perspective however, would be to ensure they pick the right partner to treat him the way you've described, which means NOT ignoring any Red Flags when choosing. Unfortunately, many will and then they'll proclaim that all men are Bar Stewards simply because they've ignored this basic rule and can't bring themselves to admit fault, hence they become the 'Man-Bashers' here.

I want to see 'good women' with your attitude end up with equally 'good men' as both parties will appreciate and reciprocate each other in their different ways.  

 

Edited March 29 by Shilo66

[me****]

48 minutes ago, Shilo66 said:

First of all, I'd just like to say it's a breath of fresh air to read a post that isn't in some form or other the usual "man-bashing diatribe" we're so used to seeing here.

For me, there's NO confusion as to what you're writing about, as it's stated clearly in the title and also explained quite eloquently in the body of your text, so please stop apologising to those looking at it from their own myopic viewpoints trying to find offence. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong in you wanting to do those things for your partner. In fetish terms, what you've described is known as a '1950s style' dynamic. So when you state 'maybe I’m just different', you're not alone in your views, and last I checked, you had at least 37 others agreeing with you on a post that's barely 24 hrs old. 

Back on topic, in my opinion, you are absolutely correct about those double-standards, the lack of appreciation and the lack of encouragement as you've mentioned. They're the reasons why so many relationships break down.

Luckily, these days, thanks to the internet providing more information about how relationships should be, many 'good guys' in those situations know that they don't have to put up with such behaviour and will look elsewhere for those needs, and happily, are finding them in new partners with similar viewpoints as yourself.  

The caveat from a female perspective however, would be to ensure they pick the right partner to treat him the way you've described, which means NOT ignoring any Red Flags when choosing. Unfortunately, many will and then they'll proclaim that all men are Bar Stewards simply because they've ignored this basic rule and can't bring themselves to admit fault, hence they become the 'Man-Bashers' here.

I want to see 'good women' with your attitude end up with equally 'good men' as both parties will appreciate and reciprocate each other in their different ways.  

 

Thank you so much! I appreciate your input and thank you for clarifying some questions I had!

[SaucyRose]

I(F) loved spoiling my partner(M), but they definitely did not reciprocate. It was very difficult for me as a very physical person. I don't expect to be spoiled, but I do expect the same kind of affection I am giving to an extent. I know not everyone needs the same or acts the same way, which is where communication comes in hand in a relationship of any kind.

My type of spoiling is cooking meals, doing activities together, massages or scalp rubs, taking care of them when they don't feel good, words of affirmation, and more. All I ever asked for was hugs, kisses, massages, comfort, dates, and such. I didn't need the words of affirmations, but it wouldn't be ignored. I'm not looking to be told all the time how great I'm doing because I'm doing what I feel is needed of me. I've communicated with my latest partner, but they didn't communicate with me in any way, and never did any of those things unless I asked for it. Once you have to beg for the "spoiling", it doesn't feel good.

[The_Rev_]

This makes me very sad, because everything you described is entirely natural, well-deserved and fun both to give and to receive. Let me just say, 'I understand '. I really wish you could find what matters to you so much, and rightly so, with your partner or, if necessary, someone else. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

[Shilo66]

1 hour ago, SaucyRose said:

I(F) loved spoiling my partner(M), but they definitely did not reciprocate. It was very difficult for me as a very physical person. I don't expect to be spoiled, but I do expect the same kind of affection I am giving to an extent. I know not everyone needs the same or acts the same way, which is where communication comes in hand in a relationship of any kind.

My type of spoiling is cooking meals, doing activities together, massages or scalp rubs, taking care of them when they don't feel good, words of affirmation, and more. All I ever asked for was hugs, kisses, massages, comfort, dates, and such. I didn't need the words of affirmations, but it wouldn't be ignored. I'm not looking to be told all the time how great I'm doing because I'm doing what I feel is needed of me. I've communicated with my latest partner, but they didn't communicate with me in any way, and never did any of those things unless I asked for it. Once you have to beg for the "spoiling", it doesn't feel good.

Leave him. If you're doing all this for him and you've communicated back to him your needs in return and he still doesn't recognise when he's got something good, then he doesn't deserve you. Walk away and find someone better who will.

That type of guy is no better than the double-standard women mentioned earlier.

Luckily, as a kinky female, you're heavily outnumbered by us kinky men on sites like these, so in your case there's literally plenty more fish in the sea, so to speak. Just make sure you vet well, don't be afraid to ask those awkward questions and crucially, DON'T IGNORE ANY RED FLAGS that may pop up.    

There are plenty of guys looking for a woman like yourself who WILL appreciate and reciprocate your actions, especially since you actually communicate, so why stick with some Bozo who doesn't?... Please don't say it's because you love him... sorry to say, if he doesn't see you now, he ain't gonna change.

Then again, if that kind of guy is your kink, then good luck to ya, you'll need it.   

 

Edited March 29 by Shilo66

[Ar****]

Yesterday at 01:32 AM, Shilo66 said:

First of all, I'd just like to say it's a breath of fresh air to read a post that isn't in some form or other the usual "man-bashing diatribe" we're so used to seeing here.

For me, there's NO confusion as to what you're writing about, as it's stated clearly in the title and also explained quite eloquently in the body of your text, so please stop apologising to those looking at it from their own myopic viewpoints trying to find offence. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong in you wanting to do those things for your partner. In fetish terms, what you've described is known as a '1950s style' dynamic. So when you state 'maybe I’m just different', you're not alone in your views, and last I checked, you had at least 37 others agreeing with you on a post that's barely 24 hrs old. 

Back on topic, in my opinion, you are absolutely correct about those double-standards, the lack of appreciation and the lack of encouragement as you've mentioned. They're the reasons why so many relationships break down.

Luckily, these days, thanks to the internet providing more information about how relationships should be, many 'good guys' in those situations know that they don't have to put up with such behaviour and will look elsewhere for those needs, and happily, are finding them in new partners with similar viewpoints as yourself.  

The caveat from a female perspective however, would be to ensure they pick the right partner to treat him the way you've described, which means NOT ignoring any Red Flags when choosing. Unfortunately, many will and then they'll proclaim that all men are Bar Stewards simply because they've ignored this basic rule and can't bring themselves to admit fault, hence they become the 'Man-Bashers' here.

I want to see 'good women' with your attitude end up with equally 'good men' as both parties will appreciate and reciprocate each other in their different ways.  

 

welp. lol, so i *was* going to write my own comment sharing literally your exact 💯% same sentiments, but you have already stated so eloquently accurately & perfectly that instead now i’ll just give a +1 & second what you said because i still want to give OP another confirmation so she knows her own observations were right.

and that this is the absurdly depressing & ABUSIVE toxic reality that EVERY man is being UNFAIRLY ***D to be seen as “dangerous” (🖕🏼) scary people to run away from as if your very life depended on it deserving of being automatically & instantly treated with hate & negativity without EVER even being given a chance to prove who they are aka the HUMAN RIGHT to be treated as a goddamn INDIVIDUAL because they ARE one ——

(meanwhile these same genius’s are on dating/social apps actively SEEKING men out for sex & relationships which…………. is so ridiculously moronic at first i thought all these women were just trolling and took me nearly two whole fucking years to FINALLY wrap my head around how could this even be possible that the majority could let themselves deteriorate down to such an utterly brain dead complete lack of ANY awareness whatsoever before i finally could accept what i was seeing, hearing, witnessing, and experiencing was actual reality instead of a dream or joke which was💔to say the least)

—— and all this despite MANY & i would dare say it’s even close to nearly HALF of the men they’re doing this to are in fact actually perfectly decent morally upstanding & accountable human beings (even though any of them reading this would instantly laugh or eye roll at this which to that i say what makes you think🫵🏼 *actually* know anything about anyone when all you’ve been doing is ASSuming 1 same thing about ALL of them and instead of having the 5 brain cells needed in order to know you have to WAIT and let the person show you who they are in order to GET & SEE ACTUAL proof in order to know & the fact that even literal freaking elementary aged CHILDREN both KNOW+grounded in reality more than all these fully grown ass supposedly “adult” women is the most EMBARRASSING thing ever & i honestly have no clue how any of them can not only be OK with themselves being embarrassments like this but even worse being so repulsively PROUD & FULL of themselves despite being the problem and the ONLY ones not just making ANY connection (even just platonic) impossible but *rushing* and solely focusing their energy/attention on ruining (most of the time literally in mere seconds🫨) instead of working together with someone which shares the SAME freaking goal in order for BOTH to get what they want. how they can’t even see themselves creating their own demons by NEVER taking the time to GENUINELY get to know ANY of the ppl they ALSO intentionally chose to match & interact with & forcing even perfectly good men who DO match them + WOULD work with them to instead be the “dangerous scary” men they DONT want is the definition of PSYCHOSIS & NO LONGER even just being SANE & i LOVE women so this hurts me to see all these women abusing not only others but themselves without even the slightest clue they are and jerk-ishly trying to offload ALL accountability onto everyone (but really only on men) but themselves which makes it very difficult to still feel the empathy i do have for them when they’re acting like complete garbage like this😞

…and that’s still NOT yet even including how concerning & scary of a mental state they’re in to on top of that ALSO be concurrently doing this while (pathetically) pretending this is the type of behavior befitting of perfect 10’s & actual literal divine beings (“goddesses”🤡🤡🤡🤡) like are you fucking kidding me lmao that is insane!!!! how can such naturally prideful creatures be ok with EMBARRASSING themselves to such a degree?? it’s ass backwards🤦🏻

& ironically by acting like complete shit (which you can get mad at the truth if you want to but don’t even think about coming at me sideways for being the messenger🤨besides if this comment makes you mad then that means you’re one of them doing this & doesn’t want to face the consequences of such shit choices which in that case instead of getting mad at the truth you should be mad at YOURSELF for being that repulsively disgusting way!! and all these women wonder why they can’t find any good men & can only find the douchebag chads that treat them like nothing more than an inanimate object with some holes to stick their dicks in to get off & not a single fuck more given than that which is CLEARLY because why would ANYONE with self-respect and values get ANYWHERE near such a toxic abusive mess who can’t even treat them with ANY goodness or positive benefit to their life whatsoever?? it doesn’t take more than just a few seconds to figure out maybe the reason can’t find any is because they don’t want to be anywhere near these soul sucking women who dwell solely in negativity, drama, and conflict?? it’s not rocket science lol….

and before you ASSume on me too thinking i’m some women hater, maybe you can realize the freaking reason i even take a lot of my time TO SAY this is literally BECAUSE I LOVE women and don’t like seeing them suffer as well as *** others the way that they are AND have been for years now STILL without even any sign of progress or awareness gained…

you think i like this? to be ***d and treated like shit when after spending OVER TWO DECADES (starting age 11-12 ON MY OWN without anyone convincing or forcing me to care about personal growth & being a good person) developing myself so that i could rise above the typical person and be the best possible partner/lover all because hate women?? cause that makes a lot
of sense doesn’t it?? and this is the problem with people nowadays, 95-99% of the world no longer pauses and actually CHOOSES what to think say & do and instead are purely living on auto-pilot subconsciously letting their EGO be their entire personality which is why so many people all act like the same hive minded person instead of being an actual individual cause they’re THAT lazy and gave up so numb that they don’t give a shit anymore… it’s fucked up that majority of society would betray their own selves like this…

and since i already spent way more time on this than i intended to (cause of my freaking tunnel vision i get from ADHD hyper focus when something is important/passionate about🤦🏻) i might as well also point out for more awareness that the whole reason whoever was the one behind the scenes orchestrating this whole proxy fake gender war (to divide people making them weaker more depressed aka easier to CONTROL & get away with the evil theft they have been doing to at such a slow speed most don’t even detect it) went after women as the target to brain wash instead of men for this fake gender war is because they knew that by targeting women they could affect ALL of society because of knowing women DONT have the same biological need for men as we do for women so if they had targeted men instead of women it would have had a much less devastating effect on us all as a whole… i think most figured this out on their own too but just thought id point this out in case some missed it…

the reason this hasn’t been getting better at all is because the women this way——

(and honestly i don’t like calling the females acting this way women because thats insulting to ACTUAL women who are classy and have incredibly strong and attractive self-control and are nurturing and loving in nature you know as in an ACTUAL woman… last of a dying breed though it’s like 1 out of 200 and all those that you finally come across either aren’t your type or you’re not theirs or they are but already married or taken BECAUSE they’re good😭)

——still refusing to accept that behavior is deplorably evil. this wont get better until women start being HONEST with themselves & holding themselves accountable hate to say but what else can you call it other than the complete shit that it IS???) LOT better than all the ignorantly clueless EQ-less who treat women with respect who don’t do ANY of the💩that all these “modern women” (whatever that means🤡) who fell for the brain-washing by the recent FAKE feminist movement several years back that had NOTHING in common or to do with ACTUAL feminism because it was instead POORLY disguised toxic sexism aka pure hatred (akin to racism it’s literally the logic of thinking which one would think females should know what feminism is more than a man🤦🏻but clearly not considering here we are & seemingly 95%+ somehow fell for it🤯)

as you can tell i’m beyond annoyed & sick of being treated like shit when i’ve always been a respectful gentleman instead of a perverted dic pic sending idiot who can’t control themselves like many, more so the absolute REFUSAL to ever apologize & take accountability for their wrongs and callous inconsiderate selfish behaviors, but MOST of all the ABUSIVE straight up sexist men bashing not just here but literally on EVERY social platform and EVERY freaking post too. seriously this shit needs to stop what’s wrong with you people to think you can treat people this way??

women got TOO spoiled to the point of being “spoiled rotten” now…. clearly women got way too the undeserved validation & automatic approval that we gave to yall out of kindness and wanting to make females happy but all it did was cause them to take it for granted and no longer appreciating it but while also becoming used to & addicted to it and now EXPECTING it without even earning/deserving OR even just appreciating it which is why men stopped giving it (well not the selfish scummy ones but at least the real ones of us that actually want this to get better and are sacrificing our own happiness in order to do so😞) and won’t give it until it’s deserved… which doesn’t seem like anytime soon cause these women don’t get that they’re not as mentally stable (or disciplined as 99% guys are, even the weak ones cause were ***d to develop this our entire lives whereas women never or rarely need to because they get support without even trying and from everywhere compared to men next to zero support) and cluelessly think they can just stubbornly refuse & that will eventually get their way without having to change and take accountability but they all that will do is WASTE even MORE of EVERYONE’s life and happiness because that’s not gonna work men aren’t gonna cave on this and these women don’t get it and so stubborn to do the right thing that they will only learn the hard way after ruining for even longer and knowing this makes it suck even more having to know this is what the future is going to be and still a long time before can finally get along and have some fun again and finally start enjoying life again🤦🏻super annoying women have to be this way…

if the majority were instead like OP the world would be A MUCH BETTER place for EVERYONE… people seriously can’t understand or realize even just the simplest of things or have common sense makes me wish i was an ignorant blind fool too cause then it wouldn’t be as insane or unfairly frustrating…

ps. sexism is literally the same exact logic as racism so why is only racism taken srsly by them unless they’re all either actually evil or now have melted brains from no longer using them for so long??

anyways thank you OP… even though women like you are so freaking rare and a dying breed at least gives me a tiny sliver of hope still😕

[Ar****]

Thursday at 06:03 PM, DenverKitten said:

I can’t speak to that. That has not been my experience at all. I have had many women I know do much more for their partner than the other way around. I also think it’s about giving up different ways. Maybe they don’t give massages, but do they do other things? Do they plan the doctors visits, make calls to the dentist, budget the income, clean, cook, grocery shop, raise kids, work, do the taxes, organize the house, tip the mailman at Christmas, keep the schedules for parties and appointments? There is a lot more than flowers and massages. Maybe they are busy doing a million other things for the lives them and their partners lead. Maybe it’s not as sexy as one hour massages but it’s also worth its weight in gold.

just curious, how do you *know* they’re actually doing more instead of just saying they are?

[ge****]

3 hours ago, ArmenianVagitarian said:

welp. lol, so i *was* going to write my own comment sharing literally your exact 💯% same sentiments, but you have already stated so eloquently accurately & perfectly that instead now i’ll just give a +1 & second what you said because i still want to give OP another confirmation so she knows her own observations were right.

and that this is the absurdly depressing & ABUSIVE toxic reality that EVERY man is being UNFAIRLY ***D to be seen as “dangerous” (🖕🏼) scary people to run away from as if your very life depended on it deserving of being automatically & instantly treated with hate & negativity without EVER even being given a chance to prove who they are aka the HUMAN RIGHT to be treated as a goddamn INDIVIDUAL because they ARE one ——

(meanwhile these same genius’s are on dating/social apps actively SEEKING men out for sex & relationships which…………. is so ridiculously moronic at first i thought all these women were just trolling and took me nearly two whole fucking years to FINALLY wrap my head around how could this even be possible that the majority could let themselves deteriorate down to such an utterly brain dead complete lack of ANY awareness whatsoever before i finally could accept what i was seeing, hearing, witnessing, and experiencing was actual reality instead of a dream or joke which was💔to say the least)

—— and all this despite MANY & i would dare say it’s even close to nearly HALF of the men they’re doing this to are in fact actually perfectly decent morally upstanding & accountable human beings (even though any of them reading this would instantly laugh or eye roll at this which to that i say what makes you think🫵🏼 *actually* know anything about anyone when all you’ve been doing is ASSuming 1 same thing about ALL of them and instead of having the 5 brain cells needed in order to know you have to WAIT and let the person show you who they are in order to GET & SEE ACTUAL proof in order to know & the fact that even literal freaking elementary aged CHILDREN both KNOW+grounded in reality more than all these fully grown ass supposedly “adult” women is the most EMBARRASSING thing ever & i honestly have no clue how any of them can not only be OK with themselves being embarrassments like this but even worse being so repulsively PROUD & FULL of themselves despite being the problem and the ONLY ones not just making ANY connection (even just platonic) impossible but *rushing* and solely focusing their energy/attention on ruining (most of the time literally in mere seconds🫨) instead of working together with someone which shares the SAME freaking goal in order for BOTH to get what they want. how they can’t even see themselves creating their own demons by NEVER taking the time to GENUINELY get to know ANY of the ppl they ALSO intentionally chose to match & interact with & forcing even perfectly good men who DO match them + WOULD work with them to instead be the “dangerous scary” men they DONT want is the definition of PSYCHOSIS & NO LONGER even just being SANE & i LOVE women so this hurts me to see all these women abusing not only others but themselves without even the slightest clue they are and jerk-ishly trying to offload ALL accountability onto everyone (but really only on men) but themselves which makes it very difficult to still feel the empathy i do have for them when they’re acting like complete garbage like this😞

…and that’s still NOT yet even including how concerning & scary of a mental state they’re in to on top of that ALSO be concurrently doing this while (pathetically) pretending this is the type of behavior befitting of perfect 10’s & actual literal divine beings (“goddesses”🤡🤡🤡🤡) like are you fucking kidding me lmao that is insane!!!! how can such naturally prideful creatures be ok with EMBARRASSING themselves to such a degree?? it’s ass backwards🤦🏻

& ironically by acting like complete shit (which you can get mad at the truth if you want to but don’t even think about coming at me sideways for being the messenger🤨besides if this comment makes you mad then that means you’re one of them doing this & doesn’t want to face the consequences of such shit choices which in that case instead of getting mad at the truth you should be mad at YOURSELF for being that repulsively disgusting way!! and all these women wonder why they can’t find any good men & can only find the douchebag chads that treat them like nothing more than an inanimate object with some holes to stick their dicks in to get off & not a single fuck more given than that which is CLEARLY because why would ANYONE with self-respect and values get ANYWHERE near such a toxic abusive mess who can’t even treat them with ANY goodness or positive benefit to their life whatsoever?? it doesn’t take more than just a few seconds to figure out maybe the reason can’t find any is because they don’t want to be anywhere near these soul sucking women who dwell solely in negativity, drama, and conflict?? it’s not rocket science lol….

and before you ASSume on me too thinking i’m some women hater, maybe you can realize the freaking reason i even take a lot of my time TO SAY this is literally BECAUSE I LOVE women and don’t like seeing them suffer as well as *** others the way that they are AND have been for years now STILL without even any sign of progress or awareness gained…

you think i like this? to be ***d and treated like shit when after spending OVER TWO DECADES (starting age 11-12 ON MY OWN without anyone convincing or forcing me to care about personal growth & being a good person) developing myself so that i could rise above the typical person and be the best possible partner/lover all because hate women?? cause that makes a lot
of sense doesn’t it?? and this is the problem with people nowadays, 95-99% of the world no longer pauses and actually CHOOSES what to think say & do and instead are purely living on auto-pilot subconsciously letting their EGO be their entire personality which is why so many people all act like the same hive minded person instead of being an actual individual cause they’re THAT lazy and gave up so numb that they don’t give a shit anymore… it’s fucked up that majority of society would betray their own selves like this…

and since i already spent way more time on this than i intended to (cause of my freaking tunnel vision i get from ADHD hyper focus when something is important/passionate about🤦🏻) i might as well also point out for more awareness that the whole reason whoever was the one behind the scenes orchestrating this whole proxy fake gender war (to divide people making them weaker more depressed aka easier to CONTROL & get away with the evil theft they have been doing to at such a slow speed most don’t even detect it) went after women as the target to brain wash instead of men for this fake gender war is because they knew that by targeting women they could affect ALL of society because of knowing women DONT have the same biological need for men as we do for women so if they had targeted men instead of women it would have had a much less devastating effect on us all as a whole… i think most figured this out on their own too but just thought id point this out in case some missed it…

the reason this hasn’t been getting better at all is because the women this way——

(and honestly i don’t like calling the females acting this way women because thats insulting to ACTUAL women who are classy and have incredibly strong and attractive self-control and are nurturing and loving in nature you know as in an ACTUAL woman… last of a dying breed though it’s like 1 out of 200 and all those that you finally come across either aren’t your type or you’re not theirs or they are but already married or taken BECAUSE they’re good😭)

——still refusing to accept that behavior is deplorably evil. this wont get better until women start being HONEST with themselves & holding themselves accountable hate to say but what else can you call it other than the complete shit that it IS???) LOT better than all the ignorantly clueless EQ-less who treat women with respect who don’t do ANY of the💩that all these “modern women” (whatever that means🤡) who fell for the brain-washing by the recent FAKE feminist movement several years back that had NOTHING in common or to do with ACTUAL feminism because it was instead POORLY disguised toxic sexism aka pure hatred (akin to racism it’s literally the logic of thinking which one would think females should know what feminism is more than a man🤦🏻but clearly not considering here we are & seemingly 95%+ somehow fell for it🤯)

as you can tell i’m beyond annoyed & sick of being treated like shit when i’ve always been a respectful gentleman instead of a perverted dic pic sending idiot who can’t control themselves like many, more so the absolute REFUSAL to ever apologize & take accountability for their wrongs and callous inconsiderate selfish behaviors, but MOST of all the ABUSIVE straight up sexist men bashing not just here but literally on EVERY social platform and EVERY freaking post too. seriously this shit needs to stop what’s wrong with you people to think you can treat people this way??

women got TOO spoiled to the point of being “spoiled rotten” now…. clearly women got way too the undeserved validation & automatic approval that we gave to yall out of kindness and wanting to make females happy but all it did was cause them to take it for granted and no longer appreciating it but while also becoming used to & addicted to it and now EXPECTING it without even earning/deserving OR even just appreciating it which is why men stopped giving it (well not the selfish scummy ones but at least the real ones of us that actually want this to get better and are sacrificing our own happiness in order to do so😞) and won’t give it until it’s deserved… which doesn’t seem like anytime soon cause these women don’t get that they’re not as mentally stable (or disciplined as 99% guys are, even the weak ones cause were ***d to develop this our entire lives whereas women never or rarely need to because they get support without even trying and from everywhere compared to men next to zero support) and cluelessly think they can just stubbornly refuse & that will eventually get their way without having to change and take accountability but they all that will do is WASTE even MORE of EVERYONE’s life and happiness because that’s not gonna work men aren’t gonna cave on this and these women don’t get it and so stubborn to do the right thing that they will only learn the hard way after ruining for even longer and knowing this makes it suck even more having to know this is what the future is going to be and still a long time before can finally get along and have some fun again and finally start enjoying life again🤦🏻super annoying women have to be this way…

if the majority were instead like OP the world would be A MUCH BETTER place for EVERYONE… people seriously can’t understand or realize even just the simplest of things or have common sense makes me wish i was an ignorant blind fool too cause then it wouldn’t be as insane or unfairly frustrating…

ps. sexism is literally the same exact logic as racism so why is only racism taken srsly by them unless they’re all either actually evil or now have melted brains from no longer using them for so long??

anyways thank you OP… even though women like you are so freaking rare and a dying breed at least gives me a tiny sliver of hope still😕

About the *only* thing from all of that which may well hold the key to some of the behaviours you perceive is your assumed figure that nearly "HALF of the men they're doing this to are in fact actually perfectly decent, morally upstanding, accountable human beings".
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Even if your numbers are correct, by that logic over half of men are not - and *that* is the issue many women find on apps/sites like this - how do they tell which are from the good half and which from the not so good?
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Yes, they could spend time getting to know those men and seeing for themselves, but when you consider the imbalance of at least 10 men for every woman on sites like this and the fact most women will get flooded with messages from prospective suitors - there are only so many they can realistically spend time getting to know and so they have to make snap judgements based on the initial message, a senders profile etc.
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Add into that that no matter how "decent" an initial message might be they don't know how quickly that "decent" message might turn into sex chat or worse and the whittling process becomes even harder.
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So when women don't respond or send a polite rejection without taking time to get to know someone it's not because they are being abusive or have been spoiled or any of the other things you suggest, but because of those reasons I've mentioned.
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My experience of sites like this is very much opposed to your own - I've chatted and got to know many women and have met my fair share of them - I haven't ever felt ***d or ignored - but then I accept I won't be for everyone, have taken the time to make my profile appealing (or hopefully appealing to some), have found an approach that works for me etc.
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I said right at the top that there's nothing wrong with what the OP is suggesting, in fact I think it's wonderful when you can find something similar where BOTH partners regardless of gender put equal effort into the relationship - sadly that equality of effort often doesn't happen but it's not a gendered thing but a person thing

[Deleted Member]

On 3/28/2024 at 7:42 AM, mermaidkat1990 said:

Ok, so I’ve heard a lot of stuff from friends and others about a woman “spoiling” their partner and it’s been negative! I LOVE spoiling my partner. Giving a 45-60 min massage with massage oil. I love physical touch and I feel like this is something a woman should want to do for her hard working partner and she shouldn’t be asked to do it she should want to! Now, it doesn’t have to be a massage, it could be back scratches for them, head/hair rubs, showers together and each one wash each other, cook together etc. I feel like so many women in todays age and society EXPECT a man to spoil them but they don’t give anything in return (in the since of affection towards their man). I know men LOVE all of these things. But men won’t ask for them. Same as women expect for men to buy them flowers, plan dates etc but won’t ask for them. Maybe I’m just different but I love surprising my man with different things like a home cooked meal, a nice massage after a hard workout/work day, lots of physical touching, proud of them/encouraging them to continue reaching for their dreams and goals, and doing simple things with them (grocery shopping, watch them play their game on Xbox or ps5, tell them positive things etc). Men need to know they are loved, appreciated and know they are doing a good job protecting you (physically and mentally). What are yalls opinions? Women and men please let me know! 

Why can i not find simeone like you. I love being spoilt