New daddy dom looking for advice

[Deleted Member]

New to the scene and have found myself with a little that isn't close and as this is only my 2ed time in this dynamic and not having a partner that is a little its the 1st one long distance I'm in need of some advice to take care of her from a distance. Any advice would be appreciated. I don't want to mess this up! Thank you in advance

[un****]

find software where you can screenshare i personally use desktop discord and then stream and watch their little shows/movies with them

[Yo****]

I'd recommend some ideas but I myself am not an expert by any means, that and I'm odd af but Cheers! And I shall observe and comment accordingly lol

[Deleted Member]

I'll here any ideas you have cryptid. Undead that's a wonderful ideal

[Yo****]

☆Another thing I recommend actually is find Games to play throughout the day, lil things like " how many of ___ shape or _____ number etc. Or make it a Quest set, where Ya each find something as close to what the others challenged Ya to find lol☆

[Deleted Member]

Thats awesome thank u

[TD****]

Easy peasy. Buy a 2nd house. Not just any house, though. Get a tiny house. And if your little doesn't show any reaction to a little inspiring a little home, you needa get gone faster than a tou*** in a tornader

[Yo****]

TDonny also has a point, I've had people try to be Littles and I literally move across country and end up ring in pocket Xmas morning just to get screwed in a not very good way at all. [Won't trauma dump here but yeah]. Definitely run at least a couple big chess plays and if they don't impress, don't play that Game, Cause that's Apathy at its finest.

[Deleted Member]

Make sure you make time for just you two. Communication is everything in a LDR. Especially in a LDR and dynamic.

Otherwise, make sure you guys have set guidelines and set times for things. Makes the whole dynamic easier.

[ro****]

Send her little thoughtful gifts once a week, make sure she knows that she is your 1st & last thought of the day, by sending her good morning and good night texts, find a piece of jewelry that's made for couples & you each wear them, have a movie night once a week and FaceTime while watching the movie together, buy the same foods and eat them together while watching the movie, send her funny, cute, thoughtful memes throughout the day, have a meal delivered to her occasionally....

[ho****]

Send he stuffed and big sweat shirts or jackets of course make sure they are clean just so she has your scent and can feel surrounded by you

[Deleted Member]

It sounds like you need to have a long conversation with your little and get a better understanding of how you can be beneficial first. Something you probably should have done before starting a dynamic, but we are here now. So the best thing you can do is find out all the things they have difficulty dealing with without you and lighten that load first. Once you have shown your benefit, then you start to learn how to be their safe place all the time!

[Sk****]

5 hours ago, rockford629415 said:

Send her little thoughtful gifts once a week, make sure she knows that she is your 1st & last thought of the day, by sending her good morning and good night texts, find a piece of jewelry that's made for couples & you each wear them, have a movie night once a week and FaceTime while watching the movie together, buy the same foods and eat them together while watching the movie, send her funny, cute, thoughtful memes throughout the day, have a meal delivered to her occasionally....

Absolutely do not do this. It screams neediness and desperation. As a Dom you have to maintain your power and mystery. Do not put anyone on a pedestal as that is not a very confident way to carry yourself.

[Deleted Member]

You say that you "found yourself with a little". Relationships don't happen without communication and reciprocation. I'm unsure how you can find yourself in a relationship without being clear with each other that's what it is. A new kink relationship doesn't start in a dissimilar way to a non-kink one. Communicate with each other, discuss everything and anything. You're better off finding out what they want or need by asking them, as opposed to random strangers who know neither of you.

You also mention you're new to this. Do some research, do some more research and then keep doing research. It's a whole education and way of life to explore. Stay safe, and have fun. Good luck!

[ma****]

2 hours ago, purple_orchid said:

You say that you "found yourself with a little". Relationships don't happen without communication and reciprocation. I'm unsure how you can find yourself in a relationship without being clear with each other that's what it is. A new kink relationship doesn't start in a dissimilar way to a non-kink one. Communicate with each other, discuss everything and anything. You're better off finding out what they want or need by asking them, as opposed to random strangers who know neither of you.

You also mention you're new to this. Do some research, do some more research and then keep doing research. It's a whole education and way of life to explore. Stay safe, and have fun. Good luck!

Your comment and your profile are beautifully written. Communication, education, and trust are key in any relationship.
Don't live in the *** or anxiety of "messing this up." Whenever I do that, I tend to over think every thing and my focus changes from my partners needs to myself, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The more I concentrate on the present and stay mindful of what is happening around us, the more i am able to enjoy life. Worry will never change the outcome of anything.
Good luck with you and yours.
Remember, this advice came from a dirty old man, and it's worth exactly what it cost.

[ro****]

2 hours ago, SkylerUK said:

Absolutely do not do this. It screams neediness and desperation. As a Dom you have to maintain your power and mystery. Do not put anyone on a pedestal as that is not a very confident way to carry yourself.

I disagree completely SkylerUK, DrewMH6919 is asking for advice that shows he CARES from a long distance. I'm a babygirl that's put on a pedestal in a long distance, Daddy Dom/Babygirl Sub relationship, and my Dom is almost twice your age, he shows me he cares & it doesn't take away the Dom part of our relationship. It's hard to feel a connection when you don't get to see each other often.... it's VERY easy for your mind to wander & start feeling lonely & negative about the entire situation BECAUSE of the distance. My suggestions will help HER feel like there's less distance and that he CARES about her and the distance aspect. Being a DOM is a privilege, it's only given to YOU, if SHE feels you are safe and deserve it. Making her feel like you think she's your princess and doing little thoughtful caring things shows her your tender side & keeps her from dwelling, running, and getting sad about the distance. Do you want to be treated like a king? Then treat HER like a queen.

[Ro****]

Here's advice from a sub that has a bit of little in her. Talk to your sub. Discuss what it is she desires. Give her ways to think about you that fits her needs. Communication is sometimes hard without the added distance. Encourage her to open up to you. Give her tasks that fit the dynamic. It can be as simple as giving a day to think about a question. Or it can be encouraging positive habits to take care of herself one way or another. Don't give her something she may fail or struggle with. Look up you tube info and research into it. There are a lot of resources out there if you seek it out and take some of it with a grain of salt too though. Do what works for your dynamic as they can vary dependant on the people involved. There are no shortcuts.

[TP****]

5 hours ago, SkylerUK said:

Absolutely do not do this. It screams neediness and desperation. As a Dom you have to maintain your power and mystery. Do not put anyone on a pedestal as that is not a very confident way to carry yourself.

What is this? The Fifty Shades of Gray primer on how to be a dom?

[Da****]

5 hours ago, rockford629415 said:

I disagree completely SkylerUK, DrewMH6919 is asking for advice that shows he CARES from a long distance. I'm a babygirl that's put on a pedestal in a long distance, Daddy Dom/Babygirl Sub relationship, and my Dom is almost twice your age, he shows me he cares & it doesn't take away the Dom part of our relationship. It's hard to feel a connection when you don't get to see each other often.... it's VERY easy for your mind to wander & start feeling lonely & negative about the entire situation BECAUSE of the distance. My suggestions will help HER feel like there's less distance and that he CARES about her and the distance aspect. Being a DOM is a privilege, it's only given to YOU, if SHE feels you are safe and deserve it. Making her feel like you think she's your princess and doing little thoughtful caring things shows her your tender side & keeps her from dwelling, running, and getting sad about the distance. Do you want to be treated like a king? Then treat HER like a queen.

I think he was reacting to the modern phenomenon of FLR in DDLG, and sending constant gifts smells that way to many. Don't need gifts and *** to express affection and admiration. Weekly gifts at a distance is best described as simping, obviously your mileage may vary.

[TP****]

15 hours ago, RogueLynx said:

Here's advice from a sub that has a bit of little in her. Talk to your sub. Discuss what it is she desires. Give her ways to think about you that fits her needs. Communication is sometimes hard without the added distance. Encourage her to open up to you. Give her tasks that fit the dynamic. It can be as simple as giving a day to think about a question. Or it can be encouraging positive habits to take care of herself one way or another. Don't give her something she may fail or struggle with. Look up you tube info and research into it. There are a lot of resources out there if you seek it out and take some of it with a grain of salt too though. Do what works for your dynamic as they can vary dependant on the people involved. There are no shortcuts.

I think it’s important to give slaves tasks that they’re going to struggle and fail with. In my opinion, in any relationship other than casual if you’re not trying to improve yourself and your partner you shouldn’t be in the relationship. Here, we have the unique ability to quantitatively improve the life of our slave. We have an obligation to encourage them, and to cultivate their growth, helping them be the best version of themselves that they can be. Tasks should never be arbitrary busy work just to occupy their time but guided activities with a purpose and goal in mind. Self betterment is hard, overcoming obstacles is hard. A meaningless list of easy to accomplish tasks is a waste of time. Pick your tasks carefully, make them verifiable, and don’t have them be easy. Remember, what’s easy for you might not be easy for her. Don’t be timid about challenging her and pushing her to become a better person.

[Re****]

Some activities I've done with long distance littles include story time (especially at bedtime), going on walks together while on the phone, watching movies over discord (especially Disney movies!), falling asleep together on the phone, sending each other cute pictures, keeping a journal together, and making a sticker chart to keep my little on her daily tasks.

I especially like daily tasks, and when they're things that are good for your little, like staying hydrated and going to bed on time, it helps ensure that not only is your relationship making your little happy but also enriching their life.

I hope this gives you some good ideas for things to do with your long distance little!

[On****]

Really love all the suggestions in the comments. 2 subs, 3 years experience with poly D/s long distance I rein*** that I'm "always here" voice hugs, date nights, always saying "good night", being there and spending quality time with life's problems, planning the next trip "home" and of course trust, confidence in you both. It's not easy and you need to be willing to step up and follow through and when something goes wrong (and it will) you own it, don't pass it off, don't sweep it under the rug, you deal with it. Like I say, it's not easy... Did I mention it's worth it? Definitely good luck 🤞

[Se****]

Gotta say I'm impressed with the thoughtful and mature quality of the responses on this thread. I feel like everything I would suggest has already been said: just want to send kudos to all involved.