Hello @crane_,thank you for your detailed feedback – some of it is fair, and I'd like to briefly explain how our system works and where something actually did go wrong in your case.Regarding the specific notice in your case: What you received is explicitly labeled above as a "Hint" – this is Read more… important to know, because a hint is different in content and meaning from a formal warning with a rule reference. In your case, however, the text shown to you wasn't a good match for the situation – that was a mismatched assignment, not the actual reason for the removal of your post. That's frustrating, and I'm sorry – it shouldn't have happened that way.Regarding the general system: Our warnings/hints are limited to about 500 characters. This is a deliberate choice, because this system needs to work uniformly across all our platforms and in different languages. That means: a hint has to function and be understandable for moderation and support in the same way in Germany as in every other country we operate in. This consistency is important so that decisions remain traceable, consistent, and comparable across all language versions – but it also means we have to keep the wording short and can't fit detailed, case-specific explanations into the hint itself.That doesn't excuse the fact that an unsuitable text was chosen in your case – that's a mistake we're looking into. But it does explain why we generally can't include a full rule breakdown with every notice.Regarding the depth of discussion: There are also limits to how detailed we can get when discussing certain decisions publicly. We can't disclose internal processes, detection mechanisms, or the criteria we use to evaluate profiles or posts – this is standard practice on virtually every platform, for good reason: if someone knows the exact criteria used to detect, say, fake profiles or rule ***s, they can deliberately work around them. This doesn't mean criticism isn't allowed – but it does mean we can only go so far in responding to certain questions, even when we understand the background and can see why it's frustrating.If you'd like to know the exact rule that applied in a specific case, please feel free to reach out to Support – they can provide details on the individual incident that don't fit into the hint itself. Keep Kinky
Nathalie - FET Crew💜

Hey @crane_,first of all: thank you for this post. I read a lot of criticism here every day, but something this thoughtful, level-headed, and free of anger — that's genuinely rare, and I want to acknowledge that before getting into the specifics.On message filters for new members: Part of this Read more… restriction actually isn't a free product decision on our end, but a requirement from the app stores (Apple/Google). If we don't comply, we risk getting kicked out of exactly those stores — and that would make Fet disappear for the vast majority of mobile users. So this isn't a "we wanted it this way," it's a "we had to act just to stay online at all."Where I fully agree with you, though, is on how this gets explained to new members — that's simply not good enough. I've felt this way for years and actually proposed internally, a while back, introducing something like a friendly little guide that shows new members in plain language how their filters work and how to set them up. Unfortunately that was never implemented, but your feedback is motivating me to bring it up again.One important reason you're not told the exact reason a message filter blocks you (distance in km, age, etc.) is precisely what you'd actually do with that information: if you knew exactly which criterion you were failing, you'd simply adjust it — and suddenly you'd get through the filter, regardless of whether the other member actually wants that or not. That would make the filter pointless. So the lack of transparency here isn't sloppiness — it's deliberate, so the filter can still actually filter something.On the 25-minute window: Here I have to honestly disagree. If a message was good enough that someone wants to reply, they will — regardless of the time window. A "hey, did you forget about me?" follow-up days or weeks later often feels like added pressure rather than politeness to the recipient, especially when they made a conscious choice not to respond. This system is deliberately designed to protect the recipient's side, even if that sometimes feels unfair to senders like you.On your other points (fake profiles, Kinky Gifts, coin mechanics, reporting) — I take a lot of this seriously and I'm passing it along internally, even if I can't or won't address every detail publicly here. But I do want you to know: your critique is genuinely one of the best member-perspective write-ups I've read. That said, there are connections, trade-offs, and constraints (legal, technical, platform-side) that simply aren't visible from the outside — that doesn't mean your observations are wrong, just that they can't show the full picture.Since this isn't something we can discuss further out in the open here, I'll be closing this thread shortly. But I definitely wanted you to know that you're seen, and that we take constructive criticism like this seriously.I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out.Keep Kinky 💜Nathalie - Community Team