I am a 32 year old new submissive looking for a male Dom. I have had submissive desires since since I first became sexual and I now have the opportunity to explore this side of myself. I am looking for someone to help guide and teach me. I am eager to please and open to new ideas within reason.
I am also a new sub. I have known this is who I am and what I wanted most my life but after ending an unhappy vanilla relationship, have started to grow this side of me.
I have really learned a lot over the past year and most of that came through questioning and researching.
I met my Dom online Read more… through random chance in a non-bdsm setting. We spoke and initially had obvious chemistry from afar. Started to get to know one another and found that we both wanted the same things. He has been there every step of the way guiding and nurturing me, asking me what it was that I really wanted, what made me happy, what concerns, questions, fears, excitements did I have. He taught me a great deal and most of that was to ensure no matter who I am with or what happens to stay true to who I am and be with a person who respects me and my boundaries.
Initially, when discussing things I thought I only wanted to only be a bedroom sub, for societal pressure and biases that anything outside of that made me weak in some way. I have now grown and have so much trust and respect he will care for me that I have asked him to help me with other things in my life. For example, working out, eating healthy....ensuring I have a routine of "tasks" that are beneficial to me and help me achieve my goals. I know finding myself wanting to submit to him in ways I never thought possible. He has my trust and is continuing to help me not only learn and grow as a sub but a person.
So after all my ranting, I guess my advice to you is to do you. Find someone you can trust, don't ever submit without being completely confident in him and how your relationship will be. You should spend as much time as you need discussing what it is you and him both really want and what can be negotiated or not. Don't ever dismiss your principals and deep embedded morals but realize that a good Dom will push your limits and help you grow. If he is true to you and your relationship/journey he will focus on making sure he never expects anything that would make you uncomfortable or exceed what you have discussed is acceptable.
Sex and the kink is great, but it is a hell of a lot better when the communication is open, honest, and real.
Question everything until you are satisfied and if he/she is not okay with that....then probably not a good route to go.