Switch?

[Deleted Member]

I can't wrap my head around it either tbh.

[Ta****]

My mentor, teacher and dungeon master at the beginning of my journey, believed as I do now, that being of service is essential to the process. I remember joking with him that was because I was 18 and he was in his 50’s with way more female subs and slaves than he could satisfy but it went far beyond that. He taught me to be the service stud and the mindset of a submissive before ever discussing my potential as a Dom with me. Of course, that was in a formal setting that most today never experience, but understanding the submissive mindset is (in my opinion) still essential to understanding how to sensually dominate and erotically guide the journey of the sub. The later being to ultimate goal of any true Dom. Without understanding of what it is to surrender control, it’s difficult if not impossible for a Dom to perfect his craft. I also believe there are certain switches who are in flux, searching for their most satisfying role, but there are also individuals I’ve met or known who I believe will never be just one role. I’m reminded of an incredibly submissive woman who was a diligent slave, who I’ve seen transform into a dominating and pretty sadistic dominatrix with other players. This was an extreme example and one that was very much affected by who was present. We remain close friends even 20 years later and I still tease her about her transformative performances. People are not simple organisms. The more you experience them in their uninhibited state, the more you’ll understand that statement.

[Deleted Member]

I'm a switch and also a pansexual gender fluid non-binary person, which means I am and perform all kinds of different gray areas of gender and sexual expression during sessions. Sometimes I switch and crossdress instantly between the two "main" states, man and woman, and also Dom and Sub. But I'm mostly this way with my wife, who is also pansexual switch. I trust her completely to be my Goddess who I worship and obey blindly everyday, but when I wakeup a Domme Woman, she also trusts me, and submit to my will. Personally I prefer being Sub, it happens more often, but it's very fluid for me. I'm learning just recently that this isn't the "norm" for most people and I find it very difficult to believe that not everyone is a switch hahaha.

[my****]

It’s hard to say. To me it’s like a spork. Yes it serves two functions, but both of them are a compromise.

[Ta****]

47 minutes ago, oBoi said:

I'm a switch and also a pansexual gender fluid non-binary person, which means I am and perform all kinds of different gray areas of gender and sexual expression during sessions. Sometimes I switch and crossdress instantly between the two "main" states, man and woman, and also Dom and Sub. But I'm mostly this way with my wife, who is also pansexual switch. I trust her completely to be my Goddess who I worship and obey blindly everyday, but when I wakeup a Domme Woman, she also trusts me, and submit to my will. Personally I prefer being Sub, it happens more often, but it's very fluid for me. I'm learning just recently that this isn't the "norm" for most people and I find it very difficult to believe that not everyone is a switch hahaha.

That’s truly the extremes and I applaud your ability to find that diversity inside of you.

[Deleted Member]

55 minutes ago, Tat2Doc said:

That’s truly the extremes and I applaud your ability to find that diversity inside of you.

Thanks for that. I read you comment too. I'm looking forward to learning more about being a Dom, and I really think that starting as a good Sub is paramount for that. I LOVE serving, and I try my hardest every session. From what you wrote, learning how to lose control is necessary to understand what control really is, as it is mutable and different for every single person. I want to try being on a Dom mindset more often, really, but I just can't help but wonder if I'm good at it, you know?

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Tat2Doc said:

That’s truly the extremes and I applaud your ability to find that diversity inside of you.

Thanks for that! I read your comment too. Recently I've been very interested in becoming a better Dom. I really believe that what you said is perfectly right: to know how to take control, one must first learn how to give it away. I'll keep on learning, having that in mind, and always exploring.

[Deleted Member]

Hahaha, the app excluded my first comment then added it again... Sorry for that :)

[bo****]

Such a sex positive community

[bo****]

I love it

[Ne****]

I'm a switch. I'm more than happy to dom for a woman, as long as she will return the favor. While I do get sensual enjoyment from being Dom, I much prefer being a sub. I would be happy to Sub 24/7, but not Dom 24/7.

[Ap****]

Being a switch, sadomasochistic, and pansexual - I find fluidity in all of these aspects of my self.
It’s most exciting when I find a BDSM/kink dynamic with someone who also identifies in these ways, as the power exchange blend is the most incredible experience.

The ability to shift between various dynamics takes skill and intuition that, I feel, most people could learn. For me it’s how I’m wired and always have been.

[ma****]

So 13 years since I went to a bdsm club for the first time. I started out as a top who wanted to make sure I did well in a scene, so I would ask someone to put me through what I wanted to do. Then some of it took root in me. Today I have a more submissive equilibrium, so whenever I take power I get a ache across my shoulders and I keep thinking about someone grabbing my hair, telling me what to do. Over time bdsm for me is like a farm. Different fields for different power exchange roles. Like a tightly controlled formal garden of delights called Domme, a big field of crazy and flamboyant experiences called Top, then orderly rows like a victory garden called bottom, and today, I have a ready to go patch of bare dirt called submission with just a line of big oak trees on the side of the field with a plaque that reads obey. All of those roles, the fields, are vital. Today I can top with ease, it's like breathing, but right after I want to submit or bottom.

On the patio by the porch there are a few big pots I keep available for someone I am just getting to know. Maybe what they bring me transplant somewhere in the farm, take root, propagate. And then, some kinks are like weeds and they get a bit into everything.

[Deleted Member]

Takes empathy.. tends to be lacking in the pure dom types

[Pi****]

It's about trust with your partner. Having enough trust to be able to switch sides. Enough trust to be able to give up the power as you expect them to as well. it's not always an easy thing to find. I personally won't do it again. But to trust your partner enough to give your power to them is an amazing experience.

[Ja****]

Because you like to feel like you are in control. Even though as a dom you are not in control, you just feel like you are. And most likely, you have the feeling to always be in control, and being a sub makes you feel like you are not in control.

[Ny****]

13 hours ago, artistry876 said:

Takes empathy.. tends to be lacking in the pure dom types

That is sooo an inaccurate statement. I don’t know any good Doms that lack empathy… switch has nothing to do with that. It’s a power exchange some like to give and take some like to give some like to take

[Ny****]

I don’t like to switch so when I have a dom who wants to have me top, he still has to demand it and I know and he knows I am only in control until he takes it back which is extremely exciting for me 🥰

[co****]

There's no headspace. There's no fence, it's an open field to explore, and none of it has to take away from masculinity if you are comfortable with yourself. Everything is labeled and finite but why? Enjoy the feelings and sensations, or so is my thought process.

[be****]

8 hours ago, NyahAngelBaby said:

I don’t like to switch so when I have a dom who wants to have me top, he still has to demand it and I know and he knows I am only in control until he takes it back which is extremely exciting for me 🥰

Dude this is exactly it for me, like I wanna be called upon?

[Deleted Member]

I only like to dominate when giving pleasure, taking control of their pleasure is so enticing and fun but I can very quickly and easily slip back to being submissive the minute they take back control. I havnt been given many opportunities to further play into my dominant switch but right now it feels easy I don't know that I've gone into a full d headspace though.

[Dorsetstrider76]

For me it comes naturally depending on the gender of my partner. I am just instinctively more dominant with a female partner and equally submissive with a male partner.

Just to be clear this has nothing to do with how I view men or women generally, if anything the reverse since (as a general rule) I hold respect women and hold them in higher esteem.

I think it has more to do with creativity. With a woman I can instantly think of 100 ways to tease, *** or pleasure... But when presented with a man it's a case of "and what am I supposed to do with this?" As a result I need direction.

[ch****]

I can switch when I want to, but definitely prefer to be Dom. I find that being able to experience both sides makes me a better Dom as I've experienced what subs experience

[Do****]

People really use this to make status 😅

[br****]

I switch depending on my partner. I'm fully submissive with men and don't think I could ever be dominant with one. However with females I can be either depending on the person. If it's a more submissive female I can take the role of dominant. I enjoy that control aspect but I also enjoy completely giving up control to a man. It's hard to explain I guess