Deleted Member Posted November 5, 2024 The first person any Dom must master is themselves. Then, treating any other person with respect is just a natural flow of your own mastery of self control. Being disrespectful is not a sign of dominance. Maintaining good boundaries and order is.
He**** Posted November 6, 2024 If things were truly talked about in the beginning of how the dynamic of the relationship is going to be set. Then the treatment is already in you and the Sub agreement đ«±đŸâđ«Čđ»
vs**** Posted November 8, 2024 Comment and communication are the keys to a relationship where one person gives power to another. If both parties discuss and agree then there should plenty of respect and caring outside of the private sphere
Jo**** Posted December 17, 2024 Yes you are right about the way a Dom should be but it also depends on what kink you are involved with at the time. Basically you should be what you said unless your sub asks for something different aka *** and things of that nature.
Wh**** Posted December 17, 2024 It's an unfortunate reality that classically trained and practicing Doms are an endangered species, so the number of potential Subs that encounter a bad "dom" or have a negative experience is ever increasing. respectfully, I don't think the question is directly addressed in the other comments. I agree with OP. A Dom by definition is the Sub's caretaker regardless of the scene or dynamic. Their consensual submission hands you a proxy (like loco parentis) so keep that in mind folks. As for respect, that should be a given regardless, mutually and generously always.
em**** Posted December 21, 2024 October 12, Deleted profile said: The scary thing is, when an inexperienced sub falls in with an inexperienced and untrained Dom,it's downright DANGEROUS!! And potentially damaging and scaring for the Sub on sooooo many levels.. I get so worried any time I hear a baby sub say they are looking for a daddy,or Dom, or whatever.. because I know that they don't know enough to ask the right questions, or to see the red flags as they start going up!! It's my first instinct to wanna take them up under me, but unfortunately that's not the way it works... As a baby sub this is my ***, what would be questions and red flags to consider?
Jo**** Posted December 22, 2024 There is a description that was read to me a long time ago which was goes : as a sub begins to trust in the Dom and the dynamic. She will begin to free up responsibility .the Dom if He does choose to accept it iâll take on the responsibilities on the shall continue. This will grow the electricity and energy that passes between these two will grow within the anticipation and knowledge that one cannot exist without the other within that dynamic.
Wh**** Posted December 23, 2024 @empathicwater check into their history and experience through their social media footprint, postings, profiles, etc. do they sound professional, respectful, and serious? have they been a Dom long enough? a proper Dom will never come on like a jerk. use common sense and trust your gut.
Deleted Member Posted December 23, 2024 It's not an issue with dominants, it's an issue with men. No matter if I was a submissive, or now that I'm a dominant; men have always demanded things from me no matter their role.
je**** Posted December 23, 2024 @TheMacabreBrat I can see how that would be a problem. I don't like presumptuous people either: it feels like they feel entitled to your attention without question. I get self- confidence but demanding? I walk away.
Da**** Posted December 27, 2024 I treat my princess like well a princess. She makes a home a home, even if I didn't chores for her to do she will find something to do. I work, pay the bills, and in return she makes me food that always tastes good, and even if it doesn't I pretend it does because her smile of being so proud of herself makes me happy. And in return for her hard work, she gets whatever she wants within reason. She has her rules, punishments, and rewards, but she also always gets respect. Nobody else can disrespect her either, and when we met I let her know that yes I was dominant and she laughed at the idea of being tamed. I didn't immediately start barking orders at her because she is a person first and foremost.
Da**** Posted December 27, 2024 I slowly walked her into my world and I walked into hers as well. I tested the waters with what she was comfortable with and uncomfortable with and what she wasnt comfortable with, we didn't do anymore.
Da**** Posted December 27, 2024 I don't understand how it could be so hard to treat your partner like she's not a person.
Deleted Member Posted January 11 For me respect of the person starts with respect of the dynamic. Whatever t&c you have for your dynamic (be it a 24/7 TPE contract, or a scene description with agree limits), respect of those boundaries leads to respect of the person. Respect of a person means fulfilling their wishes, even if that means consensually degrading them. I believe this is one of the reasons the vanilla world can't wrap their heads around kink. How can you respect someone when you call them bad names. Understand the rules first junior.
Mi**** Posted January 12 It sounds like roles need to be defined better. Both treating them like a person is right of course if thatâs what you were able to agree to at the beginning⊠of the sub/dom relationship. but what if the premise of it is to be bit more extreme, if the sub requests to be treated like a horny lil dog in heat . If you th agree with type of interaction then you might consider that less, Trust and purpose are most important for the sub. Trust and control are the most important for the dom
Am**** Posted January 13 Yes respect needs to be shown at times. I find most subs need to be respected in their though want and need and if you show that their willing to try and meet you half way, try things your into but it might not be her favorite
Sw**** Posted February 16 As someone newer to this app; I think thereâs a lot of misusing of the Dom. I really donât think majority of the men throwing around that title understand a.) what it means (which isnât just rough sec), or b.) what responsibilities the title entails. I think thereâs been so much misinformation put out into the Vanilla world that many men coming in think itâs a âOne Size Fits Allâ model, and itâs quite the opposite. Also the terms Kink and Fetish are kind of all encompassing, but there are different communities under those umbrellas. In my opinion, the use of any D/s terminology is better suited for the BDSM side of the community, I donât believe it has the same connotation or application on the Swinger side at all; which honestly I think a bunch of Vanilla men are thinking everyone is just swapping or having orgies and they canât understand why their grotesque methods of approaching women (or anyone) is not being met with enthusiastic acceptance. You can not truly be a one-time Dom for someone (you CAN be a Top who is dominant, but not their Dom) because it takes negotiation and TRUST for a sub to submit and you both to find the groove of your agreed upon dynamic. Doms are to always be concerned about the care of their submissive (physical, emotionally, and mentally). TPE or any PE, requires safety trust being built. The men who think if someone is into Kink or labels themselves as a submissive, they automatically want to be cold approached about their objectification of the individual or disrespect is absurd to me. You always approach with respect and maybe you can earn the privilege to degrade them; but every sub is different. For instance, I do not like *** or ***; Iâm a good girl with a praise kink, so some of these messages are just foul. You can definitely weed out those who are cosplaying as a âdomâ and the true Doms that have experience.
Sw**** Posted February 17 Yesterday at 04:45 PM, SweetAmaretto86 said: As someone newer to this app; I think thereâs a lot of misusing of the Dom. I really donât think majority of the men throwing around that title understand a.) what it means (which isnât just rough sec), or b.) what responsibilities the title entails. I think thereâs been so much misinformation put out into the Vanilla world that many men coming in think itâs a âOne Size Fits Allâ model, and itâs quite the opposite. Also the terms Kink and Fetish are kind of all encompassing, but there are different communities under those umbrellas. In my opinion, the use of any D/s terminology is better suited for the BDSM side of the community, I donât believe it has the same connotation or application on the Swinger side at all; which honestly I think a bunch of Vanilla men are thinking everyone is just swapping or having orgies and they canât understand why their grotesque methods of approaching women (or anyone) is not being met with enthusiastic acceptance. You can not truly be a one-time Dom for someone (you CAN be a Top who is dominant, but not their Dom) because it takes negotiation and TRUST for a sub to submit and you both to find the groove of your agreed upon dynamic. Doms are to always be concerned about the care of their submissive (physical, emotionally, and mentally). TPE or any PE, requires safety trust being built. The men who think if someone is into Kink or labels themselves as a submissive, they automatically want to be cold approached about their objectification of the individual or disrespect is absurd to me. You always approach with respect and maybe you can earn the privilege to degrade them; but every sub is different. For instance, I do not like *** or ***; Iâm a good girl with a praise kink, so some of these messages are just foul. You can definitely weed out those who are cosplaying as a âdomâ and the true Doms that have experience. My apologies if some of the writing is unclear, apparently this app autocorrects and filters. Most of which didnât make sense for my post.
Rara84 Posted August 27 I know the asking for respect is disrespectful to the true blue D/s but there's so so many imposters that treat you like something they've stepped in because you have the word submission in your profile is horrific. I'm a MD little switch and I get some disgusting messages. I try not to be on here if I'm in little space. It's too much of a risk to getting hurt.
Do**** Posted August 28 I agree in that I think amd have seen SO many lifestyle men who want to "dom" a woman aka boss her around that claim to be Doms and just give it a bad stigma. Over the years I have talked to so many subs that have horror stories of fake doms. Asking for respect from a Dom is disrespectful as we know that in order to earn your submission, we have to respect you, care for and about you, protect you and be your safety net. I have had several subs through the years and have been extremely protective of each. Dynamics are different yes but the fundamentals are the same
Ma**** Posted August 31 While I fully endorse the sentiment... I'm going to respond in a slightly contrarian way, in that everyone is different - and every pair of people interact differently. To use Gorean traditions as an example - no, a Gorean Master is not expected to "respect" His property - and a profile demanding such respect from a supposed kajira, would be contradictory. But...given this ISN'T Gor, the respect should be there, even if not displayed overtly. More generally - I don't believe any dictates like showing respect or being polite, can truly encompass the variety in our lifestyle. Some subs want to be ***d, insulted, ***d, ***d, etc. Demanding someone approach them with inapplicable standards, is just wrong. "respect", and "care for" are somewhat dubious terms given some of what we do - yet they can (and should) be present in some form, even if they are never expressed in some dynamics. Trying to navigate the hidden aspects in a lovingly "abusive" relationship is - not an area that I find relevant, having no interest in that kind of thing. I personally see such dictates in a profile to be somewhat counter-productive - those who most need to heed them won't even read them, and a simple block is the easiest way to remove wannabe Doms who can't adjust their approach to suit the tone of a profile.
Re**** Posted September 1 An object during play, and a human outside of it. If both sides are being treated how they need to be, then respect is being shown.
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