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Tantrum


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This all entirely depends on the dynamic, but in the past I had a partner who said it would be fun if I disciplined them in a tone similar to a mother, and firmly grab their wrist while pulling them back to the car if they don't calm down.... And once we're in private... Aaand, scene. Let the reconciliation and make out session begin... I'm sorry sweet baby it's so hard to keep it all together in public, I know, but you've got to try for momma. Ok? I promise if you just ask for my hand or one of your toys momma can soothe you however you need. It's okay that you're going to mess up, However, momma only needs you to try coping skills sometimes ok? You can still have tantrums, and I'm so sorry I got upset in front of other people, but It was just really hard for momma too sweetie. I hope you'll forgive me angel, I still cherish you and tantrums are a part of growing up!!
Shew the red flags in here are blinding!! Whatever the agreed upon terms are is the proper answer. Hence the word AGREED. It is irresponsible, dangerous and disrespectful to act/react without prior agreement.
Brats can be pets and vice versa. If you little or pet acts out, you can let them or use your dom voice in their ear to cut it out. If you do let them: walk away if it’s too much. In either case, you note the behavior for later punishments in private. Make sure they get their punishment though and why they are getting it.

what sort of public are we talking here?

cos. like, you're both two grown ass adults and shouldn't be subjecting your kink onto people who don't consent to being a part of it.  

As a little/sub some of these comments make me nervous why would you want to ignore us? I get we might act out but normally it’s for a reason and sometimes it’s cause me feel nervous or we want attention.
54 minutes ago, HazardOfASiren said:
As a little/sub some of these comments make me nervous why would you want to ignore us? I get we might act out but normally it’s for a reason and sometimes it’s cause me feel nervous or we want attention.

Well as I stated that's something that I will never do it is detrimental to a submissive or little for their daddy to ignore them.
And as a dominant and their daddy it is the dominant job to help teach guide mold your submissive into what you want your submissive to be in a good way that's just the way I am that's the way I look at things

But in public? That’s why I said the two options depending on the public setting. Say like a Walmart or something? Then that is inappropriate to get in any head space, dom or little/sub, and inadvertently involve other people with their consent.
Whenever we give attention to (even negative )behaviors , we rein*** said behavior. The only way to get this behavior to stop is to ignore it.

An even better way is to not only ignore the behavior , but set prior boundaries to prevent it in the first place. Having tantrums at stores? Ball gag under mask.
Slowly start sqeezing something harder. Or put my foot on top of theirs under a table and apply pressure. Just enough to say straighten up
Throw it a dollar and clap for the great performance
Turn my back to the dog ignoring until it stops; and then face and praise it for stopping.
Works like a charm on two- legged drama queens as well as dogs! May i have a Treat now?
Tl;dr You cannot punish what has not been agreed "punishable." Agreement to behavior must be mutual; dissolution of agreement can be unilateral.
The long version:
Tantrums as signals for resolving "certain urges" are play dynamics *if agreed to as such*. Exhibitionist behavior for spectacle is a play dynamic *if agreed to as such*.
Subs must honor the conditions of their chosen dominant. If the dominant has never been OK with public play dynamics (and suggests the opposite), why do that? That's definitely disrespectful.
Doms must honor the conditions of the submissive under their watch. If the submissive has never been OK with public control dynamics (especially if they're working professionals), why do that? Also definitely disrespectful.
Respect is paramount. Trust does not exist without respect. Consent does not exist without trust. Can't play CNC/dynamics/etc. without implicit consent at absolute minimum. See where that goes?
Set. Appropriate. Expectations. Early. And. Often. That's a mandate among dominant ***rs to keep your pets/Littles/wards/slaves/avatars loyal and a kind but firm adminition to submissives for the preservation of healthy relationships with your owners/Love-Parents/caregivers/Masters/Love-Deities.
In absence of that, *if an expectation was never set and stated as a requirement*, you *cannot* penalize the behavior directly just because of your own frustration with the sudden change. If that does occur (it's natural, people are human and beautiful in our ugliness), the it is on *you* to apologize and reconcile that immediately.

Involving the public in your dynamic is never a good idea (unless it's a kink event. But even then they all have rules to be followed). Act like an adult around the public. Nothing like having the cops called on you just because you can't control yourself. You can do whatever in your own privacy.

If you feel the need to publicly act out, wait for a specific littles night at your local dungeon. 

Give him the look and if it continued I would treat him like a kid and say TAKE YOUR A** TO THE CAR AND WAIT FOR ME THERE

I'm not a dom/daddy, but mine gives me 'the look' as a warning. If I don't stop, he pulls me closer and grabs my face to look at him 🫣
Honestly, in my opinion, it’s situational. For Littles, you have to ask are they overstimulated or are they just acting up because they didn’t get what they want. Same thing for pets, overstimulated or just acting out because. If it’s due to overstimulation, then comfort and support. If it is due to just attitude then correct with signal or words. But for me, it also depends on the situation because certain moments I would just pick them up and carry them out and deal with them in the car.
It really depends on what we've already agreed on, but, in general, some form of verbal correction, and reminder of consequences. A second infraction results in a small, subtle, physical correction-a pinch, or quick bottom slap. Third? Private consequences, measured out in public.
But all this within predetermined hard limits, of course.
Small cane thwack to the lower body. They prefer the sides of their hips, but I prefer the shin... sends a better message. "Stop." I've also tried poking or jabbing the cane tip on the top of their foot, but it's been a mix success.
  • 2 weeks later...
If they're a pet, a slight grip of the hair on the back of their head or their waist or perhaps their leash and a whisper in their ear to behave themselves because a good dog(or whatever they happen to be) doesn't get rewards when they act out... Keep it up and you'll find yourself with a sore hind end or a night in the kennel, no cuddles.

If they're a little, it depends on the dynamic. If it's a strict dynamic, it would be similar to the first example but they'd end up in time out or writing lines, going to bed without milk(Daddy's or otherwise.) If it's a more nurturing dynamic, I'd take them aside and talk them down, find out what they're upset about. Address the behavior one way or another and get them back to being a good little one. If they're really good, they can have an extra snack or get a reward from Daddy later that night.
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