Topping from the bottom

[Deleted Member]

I am very interested in this. I am a sub who’s visible life is busy, responsible, professional, organised, successful and happy. 

I am a sub who enjoys all aspects of 24/7 and (not but) I would love to explore topping from the bottom.....

question to subs:

how have you done this/ considered it/ managed it (as a scene?)

question to Doms:

what would you like if you were topped??

 

.....anything goes......

[Deleted Member]

I think generally topping from the bottom is more about communication during play ..mainly for me because I do not switch .. I am who I am .

[Deleted Member]

18 minutes ago, Mrchristopher70 said:

I think it's more about comunication during play ..manly for me because I do not switch .. I am who I am .

Could you imagine?!!! I wouldn’t even attempt to switch..... I wouldn’t change a thing about you xxx

[Deleted Member]

Very interesting topic...

My role with Sir is also set in stone, we would never switch. However, out of scene we talk openly about what we would both like to explore and I am clear about fantasies I have, and elements of play I want to try and how this could play out. I know Sir will take this on board and will incorporate it at some point as he choses. Being his Sub I see it as my responsibility to respond to him in scene as he wishes and try hard to please him in this way. Not sure I could do topping from the bottom. I feel it would be disrespectful of me to try and change his thought process in scene to meet my own needs? I'm interested to read responses on this though as I'm such a new sub I'm open to others opinions.

I have read a lot on this topic after you highlighted it to me Firewitch, and it appears many hold the term "topping from the bottom" with negative connotations. That perhaps it can be seen as Sub doing a poor job? However, my interpretation is that it is about ensuring the Sub feels empowered to speak their mind out of scene to ensure their needs are also met?

I've also noted from reading on the topic is that some behaviours occur from the sub...pulling away from their Dom/suggesting different toys/refusing elements of the scene without good reason can be manipulative to ensure they are punished. As this then meets their own needs. I must admit I can be a handful for Sir if I think it may lead to a significant spanking! Is that topping from the bottom?

Early days in our journey I was definitely topping from the bottom and telling Sir to loosen the clamps or spank a little harder. Now Its different, although Sir sometimes checks in with me throughout the scene, if I want something harder/like it etc he makes me beg for it...still giving me what I crave but maintaining complete dominance. 

I think ultimately its a fine balance and depends on how people personally define topping from the bottom.

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, SubmissiveNix said:

ery interesting topic...

My role with Sir is also set in stone, we would never switch. However, out of scene we talk openly about what we would both like to explore and I am clear about fantisies I have, and elements of play I want to try and how this could play out. I know Sir will take this on board and will incorporate it at some point as he choses. Being his Sub I see it as my responsibility to respond to him in scene as he wishes and try hard to please him in this way. I feel it would be disrespectful of me to try and change his thought process in scene to meet my own needs? Im interested to read responses on this though as im such a new sub im open to others opinions.

I have read a lot on this topic after you highlighted it to me Firewitch, and it appears many hold the term "topping from the bottom" with negative connotations. That perhaps it can be seen as Sub doing a poor job? However, my interpretation is that it is about ensuring the Sub feels empowered to speak their mind out of scene to ensure their needs are also met?

Ive also noted from reading on the topic is that some behaviours occur from the sub...pulling away from their Dom/suggesting different toys/refusing elements of the scene without good reason can be manipulative to ensure they are punished...as this then meets their own needs. I must admit I can be a handful for Sir if I think it may lead to a significant spanking!

Early days in our journey I was definately topping from the bottom and telling Sir to loosen the clamps or spank a little harder. Now Its different, although Sir sometimes checks in with me throughout the scene, if I want something harder/like it etc he makes me beg for it...still giving me what I crave but maintaining complete dominance. 

I think ultimately its a fine balance and depends on how people personally define topping from the bottom.

 I like this and is very much in line with what I was thinking and how it could be managed. The communication is so important and provides a great opportunity to explore wants/ needs. 

I like the notion of the “temptress” and this can be achieved in a variety of scenarios/ scenes. 

I haven’t and won’t request or instruct but trust that Sir knows when I’m nearing my limit at that time. 

I too like to be “a handful” which I can’t help even if I know I will be in more trouble!!!

[Deleted Member]

Your always in trouble you know I keep a list !!!!!!! C

[Pa****]

Just a thought.....wondering if, Firewitch is mixing seduction with topping from the bottom, you have be careful that you don't mix seduction with manipulation.....manipulation isn't health for you or your partner.

However seduction is an art and is a wonderful element to have in a relationship...the sweet dance between fighting or giving into temptation....alway great to play with as the temptress may get more than they have bargained for.

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Interesting topic ,

before I comment further Firewitch are we in agreement Thomas topping from the bottom is 

trying be “boss” while being dominated ?

Goose

😉

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, goosebumpgiver said:

Interesting topic ,

before I comment further Firewitch are we in agreement Thomas topping from the bottom is 

trying be “boss” while being dominated ?

Goose

😉

Yes 😊

[turbosub]

Please pardon my ignorance, but i thought "topping from the bottom" was  describing a situation where a submissive attempts to control the play, "I like it when you do this" from their submissive position, rather than switching. In the few times I've been to membership dungeons over the years this was deemed a cardinal rule breaker by some of the Dommes I came to know. 

Was I just hanging out with the wrong group?

Edited June 21, 2018 by turbosub

[ey****]

I think 'Topping from the Bottom' can often be negative, but it's very much contextual.  

If a sub is discussing with their Dominant things they might like to explore in the future, or things they particularly like or would like more of - then that's a good thing : it's part of communication.

If a sub is directing play, telling the Dominant how to hit them, with what, etc. etc. then it's bad.   

[turbosub]

I agree wholeheartedly with that eyemblacksheep

 

[Lugnut-4292]

This is an interesting topic for me as Mrs LugNut is not a full on domme. She is somewhere on the spectrum and definitely not a sub. I feel she needs a bit of encouragement to enjoy the role to its full extent. I definitely don't want to dictate the play, I want her to enjoy directing the scene and when she gets into her stride it is more fun for both of us. We discuss the flavour of play first, usually in the bath. I tend to egg her on by winding her up a bit by calling her names and she responds by getting more in the role. I think it is our version of saying green or amber. She is getting better at improvising and getting more fun of of it. It is a tight line between normal communication and topping from the bottom perhaps but we are moving in the right direction. I love it when she is laughing at me because of the situation she had put it in.

L

[SirPiggy]

Just a thought on the subject. 

If the two people involved, an experienced submissive & a Dom/Domme who has little or no experience (we all have to start somewhere) then surely it is a requirement for the sub to give direction (at least in the beginning of said relationship) i.e direction in impact play, certain bondage elements etc.

I personally would feel a lot safer in doing so.

 

Is this then topping from the bottom.

[ey****]

It is, SirPiggy, but in this case it's obviously appropriate in the context.

However... it's possibly better for an untrained Dominant to take some effort to learn via reading/tutorials/workshops/etc also and the play doesn't have to be fully directed it can be just a case of seeking feedback, especially after play.

But it all depends on what works for the couple.

Remember if I'm on a bench and you're hitting me, I can tell you if *I* can take it harder or would like it eased off a little.  I can also tell you if your aim is wrong, but over the bench I can't really see your technique...