Molly's BDSM Tips | Should I Modify My Body for Mistress?

Our BDSM advice columnist Molly returns to help one submissive assert his boundaries following a request from his Mistress to get a genital piercing. Should he modify his body to please her, even if he doesn't want to? Read on and find out what Molly suggests.

Dear Molly,
My Mistress wants me to get a Prince Albert piercing. She says they turn her on and like how they feel during sex. I like how they look, but when I think about the process of having it done, it makes me feel a bit sick, and I don't think I can go through with this kind of body modification. Do you think I should toughen up, grit my teeth and do it for her, or should I say no?
P.A.

Dear P.A,
For those who don't know, a Prince Albert piercing (or PA) is a ring piercing that passes through the skin at the tip of the penis. It's so-called because it was widely rumored that Queen Victoria's husband, Prince Albert, had one. While that was never verified, it was not unheard of at the time for men to have it done so their penis would sit straight in the tight trousers that were in fashion then.

However, despite the name dating back to Victorian times, this genital piercing is older than this, given its mention in the Kama Sutra as a way to heighten sexual pleasure.

What's it like to get a Prince Albert piercing?

A Prince Albert piercing is usually a ring-style piercing that enters at the frenulum on the underside of the head of the penis and enters through the urethra. A professional piercer should only ever carry it out with training and experience in genital piercings. If you're thinking of getting a PA, do your research and try to connect with other people who have had one. Also, find a piercer who comes with recommendations.

Genital piercings are not for the faint-hearted. A good piercer will be honest about what it entails, but getting a Prince Albert piercing is ***ful and can involve quite a bit of bleeding. The penis is, after all, full of *** vessels. Also, one of the side effects that people don't often realize is that when you ***, it will come out of both holes, which may well be uncomfortable during the healing process.

How long does a Prince Albert piercing take to heal?

Like all things related to the body, it varies from person to person, but the consensus is anywhere from four weeks to six months. During the early initial stages, there is swelling and inflammation that causes discomfort, and of course, there is always a risk of infection, so it is essential to keep the area clean.

During the healing process, you will also need to abstain from sexual activity as that will only irritate the piercing, make any swelling worse, and possibly increase the risk of infection. Also, until you're sure the piercing has healed fully, you should wear a condom during any penetrative sex, especially anal.

Should you modify your body?

So here we get to the real heart of your question, and the answer is only you know for sure if you should or shouldn't do it. Getting a genital piercing isn't something you want to do lightly, and unless the idea turns you on and you love the thought, then I would say you shouldn't for the time being. I think it's OK to take some time to think about it, but unless you get to a place in your head where you're enthusiastic about it, you should say no.

Consent and setting boundaries

Body modifications like piercings and tattoos are big things. They involve making permanent changes to your body that come with risks. Setting boundaries around activities like this within a D/s relationship is a significant thing to do. I think you must have an honest conversation with your Mistress about this subject. Explain that you're uncomfortable with getting a genital piercing, set some boundaries around these topics, and discuss what you would and wouldn't be comfortable with.

If your Mistress finds this unacceptable or a deal-breaker, I would say they're more interested in getting their way rather than looking out for your wellbeing.

Submissives are allowed to have BDSM limits and say no. If something someone wants you to do makes you feel physically sick, then it's not fun and sexy anymore, and you shouldn't consent to do it, nor should you be made to feel bad for saying no. Kink is, after all, meant to be fun and sexy for everyone involved.
Good luck!
Molly x