What are some ways that kink has changed your life or your perspectives?

[Deleted Member]

Would love to have a discussion about how kink has benefitted the people here. How has kink helped you?

[Deleted Member]

It’s helped me realize that whatever gets done with consent by all participants should not be a target of opinion from non participants. And that applies to all aspects of life.

[StormyBlueEyes]

I like the idea behind your question and that your asking it 😉

[Deleted Member]

Been thinking about power a lot. Definitely started reading people through a new filter since I started dabbling in the dd/lg and s/m dynamics. Especially how some people are completely oblivious to what they need in life in terms of the amount of power they hold, lots of people could really use some safe environment to just let go of all control and power. Can really recommend that new movie ”Babygirl”, it’s bang on that subject.

[StormyBlueEyes]

For me, it was reassuring finding people like myself. People that are sex-positive. That I’m not crazy or alone, I’m good as I am.

[StormyBlueEyes]

That the idea that neither romantic love nor sex is the same as the story that we’ve been fed. There’s far more to be discovered, and there’s different strokes for different folks.

[StormyBlueEyes]

Haha not to mention I learned how to get a better orgasm than I had ever expected before

[Qu****]

Kinks, or more specifically talking about them with my wife has really helped our ability to communicate with each other. Like you’re talking about some things that you might think would be pretty embarrassing, but then neither one of us flinch at it, and better yet try it. It just creates a much more open, and honest relationship.

[Johnathan-9864]

For me, it is a bonding experience and a trust building thing. If I'm going to get kinky with someone they need to trust that I won't hurt them to an extreme extent, and will comply with the safe word. On the other hand, I need to trust they wouldn't let me push them to a point where it's going to change them for the worse.

[wa****]

I’ve been cine more open minded and forgiving to others

[cu****]

Significant increase in happiness. I was in a rather lengthy marriage. When the relationship started, in my naivety, I thought the sex was very wild and fun. As time went on and I matured I realized I had desires to do more and explore things as a couple. That's when I found out how vanilla she was. Not only was she not interested, she would shame me for bringing things up. So I had to live in silence and she would still bring up things I told her and shame me for bringing it up in the past. I learned to feel guilty about my kinky desires. Eventually the marriage ended in divorce, which I didn't realize until later was for the best. I eventually started dating again. The second woman I dated acted like she wanted to be kinky but I slowly realized she was just trying to make me happy because she was trying to rope me into a marriage because I am very financially stable and she was a complete mess. She wanted to be taken care of. Then the third woman I dated changed my world. She said she almost didn't go on a second date because I seemed too nice and she thought it would be boring. I am a firm believer of gentleman on the street, freak in the sheets. But she was very open with me after the first date and I felt comfortable opening up with her. We started sending dirty Instagram reels back and forth and really went from there. The relationship only lasted for 5 months but she encouraged me to be open and made me more comfortable to talk about kink with a woman. That has lead to some very fun encounters and eventually meeting my current girlfriend who has opened my eyes even further. I am so much happier now, being open and knowing the importance of sharing desires. And if a woman isn't on the same page, you will find someone that is.

[TM****]

It creates a stronger bond when done right. When the communication is right, and it needs to be, it's amazing what a high level of relationship is possible. And preferred.

[Deleted Member]

Kink has given me permission to take up space—in ways I never thought I could. As a fat, Black woman, the world has always told me to shrink, to be accommodating, to make myself digestible. Even in intimacy, I was conditioned to believe that my pleasure was secondary, that I should be grateful for whatever attention I got, that desirability was a privilege I had to earn through submission—not the fun, negotiated kind, but the quiet, obligatory kind that keeps women like me in our place.

But in kink? My body isn’t something to apologize for. It’s something to be worshiped, adorned, desired because of its presence, not despite it. I’ve learned that dominance and submission aren’t about powerlessness but about trust, about choosing who gets access to me and under what terms. It’s given me the radical, terrifying freedom to say this is what I want, this is what I deserve, and you will either rise to meet it or step aside.

It has unraveled shame I didn’t even realize I was carrying—shame about my body, about my pleasure, about wanting more than what I was taught to settle for. Kink has made me feel whole in a way nothing else has. It’s been a reclamation, a homecoming, a way of saying I am here, I am enough, and I will never make myself small again.

[ba****]

Sorry, I don't understand your question regarding Kink. It has made no difference in my life. It certainly has not benefitted my life as of yet. Am I alone in this? What do you mean exactly by kink? In this context

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, basingstoke671024 said:

Sorry, I don't understand your question regarding Kink. It has made no difference in my life. It certainly has not benefitted my life as of yet. Am I alone in this? What do you mean exactly by kink? In this context

I mean everything I'm going to say as kindly as possible.

I think that maybe If you're at a place where the world of kink holds no value then it might be time for some introspection and self discovery. It's a road we are all always on and it's a forever road. Some of the folks here have shared some amazing information and id suggest taking a read through them and see if maybe it helps open things for you. Perhaps this is the start of your journey or maybe a split in a pathway down a new one and either way I respect you in it.

[ba****]

10 minutes ago, Jupiter_ said:

I mean everything I'm going to say as kindly as possible.

I think that maybe If you're at a place where the world of kink holds no value then it might be time for some introspection and self discovery. It's a road we are all always on and it's a forever road. Some of the folks here have shared some amazing information and id suggest taking a read through them and see if maybe it helps open things for you. Perhaps this is the start of your journey or maybe a split in a pathway down a new one and either way I respect you in it.

The fact is that I've been single all my life and I've never had anyone to explore my kinks with. In some ways its affected me in a bad way. I find it ***ing that I'm not able to put myebay kinks into practice and satisfy another woman. I wish I didn't have them tbh

[Im****]

I haven't met anyone on this app directly, and would describe myself as largely vanilla, but... after a life primarily of *** first time I met a soft domme was like the first time I felt safe in my life. So to that end, kink gave me safety for the first time, even if my participation is largely still vanilla and bland on my end, but a feeling of validity and safety that I didn't know was possible from willing kinksters.

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, HappyFatLady said:

Kink has given me permission to take up space—in ways I never thought I could. As a fat, Black woman, the world has always told me to shrink, to be accommodating, to make myself digestible. Even in intimacy, I was conditioned to believe that my pleasure was secondary, that I should be grateful for whatever attention I got, that desirability was a privilege I had to earn through submission—not the fun, negotiated kind, but the quiet, obligatory kind that keeps women like me in our place.

But in kink? My body isn’t something to apologize for. It’s something to be worshiped, adorned, desired because of its presence, not despite it. I’ve learned that dominance and submission aren’t about powerlessness but about trust, about choosing who gets access to me and under what terms. It’s given me the radical, terrifying freedom to say this is what I want, this is what I deserve, and you will either rise to meet it or step aside.

It has unraveled shame I didn’t even realize I was carrying—shame about my body, about my pleasure, about wanting more than what I was taught to settle for. Kink has made me feel whole in a way nothing else has. It’s been a reclamation, a homecoming, a way of saying I am here, I am enough, and I will never make myself small again.

That is so beautifully put

[Deleted Member]

It has given me confidence and helped me realized that I'm not messed up. (Being a sadist is an a whole new level because I was like why does h urting men turn me on so much)

I have learned that I can say no. And that my no should me valued.

I have learned the importance of honest and open communication.

Kink has also helped me learn that ignoring red flags is very very bad. 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, basingstoke671024 said:

The fact is that I've been single all my life and I've never had anyone to explore my kinks with. In some ways its affected me in a bad way. I find it ***ing that I'm not able to put myebay kinks into practice and satisfy another woman. I wish I didn't have them tbh

I wish you all the best my friend. This is a long journey and I'm positive there is someone out there or multiple someone's out there for you. Just the beginning of a journey

[Bu****]

I stumbled upon nipple play for both myself and d partners. I've made multiple different partners climax from my oral stimulation of the breast/areola/nipple. And I've experienced a heightened stimulation when my nipple was stimulated while I masterbated. Definitely was good surprise

[ba****]

15 minutes ago, Jupiter_ said:

I wish you all the best my friend. This is a long journey and I'm positive there is someone out there or multiple someone's out there for you. Just the beginning of a journey

Thanks for your encouragement. This is the thing being handsome and sexy are completely different. There are many older men in their 80s who are handsome but women would never want sex with them. I'm not saying women don't find me handsome they just don't find me sexy. No sex appeal. I was told by my female supervisor that I have 0% sex appeal. Women say that I look and come across like am immature school boy and that's not sexy to them. Plus I'm neurodivergent which doesn't help. Anyway I've said too much. Better I just expect things as they are. As the saying goes- "its the hope that kills you"

[Si****]

It has changed my life in so many ways…
It helped me end a long marriage that had become stale.
It has enabled me to go on a journey of discovery for sex but also in understanding myself.
I have let wonderful people along the way even though the right long term partner has eluded me so far…

[Deleted Member]

You'd be surprised how many people would love your body, post some pics and let people drool over then and praise you, you'll feel sexy from it

[pr****]

TBH it has helped me to see people better, helps to understand different thoughts processes. For me the few people I've invited into the lifstyle, are all heck yeah, but when it's time they all back out. I love the energy that raw passionate sex generates! From solo to large groups. When performed properly, in my opinion it's fire is unmatched. JS