Blind: I don’t really know what to do…?

[Pu****]

I’m a 34 year old cis male who is legally blind, and I just have no idea how I’m meant to express my kinky side? In the past, I’ve had no problem expressing that part of me but it was encouraged by previous partners. I just don’t know how to do it solo…? My local kink ‘scene’ is… very small and seemingly made up of very experienced couples. I don’t know how to meet like-minded people; there’s a kink club in a nearby city, but because of my dwindling eyesight, I’m really not comfortable just turning up. It looks… very dark :/

Any tips?

[ar****]

Did you lose your eyesight over time, or were you always legally blind? If the latter, how did your dynamic with previous partners go? Can't you repeat those steps anymore?

[di****]

It’s possible, im blind asf with a cane and I do ok

[Pu****]

26 minutes ago, arnhem961 said:

Did you lose your eyesight over time, or were you always legally blind? If the latter, how did your dynamic with previous partners go? Can't you repeat those steps anymore?

I’ve never had good sight and it’ll just get worse across my life The ‘legally blind’ status happened about two years ago. My previous kinky partners found me! But it’s been some time now and I’m not really sure what to do. My confidence has taken a real knock since my vision has decreased further.

[di****]

First you will sign up for a blind vocational training, which you already do ! Then use the training, but your issue is you don’t live alone so you have nowhere to have your little chamber, till you got your own spot

[Pu****]

35 minutes ago, dickenxcyder said:

First you will sign up for a blind vocational training, which you already do ! Then use the training, but your issue is you don’t live alone so you have nowhere to have your little chamber, till you got your own spot

You’ve made a lot of assumptions of me there, friend ;)

[AKA_Copper]

Sensory impairments aren't an area I have a lot of knowledge of but my thoughts...
Could you reach out to the organisers of any munches/clubs to discuss the emvironment/your needs/the lighting? Could they meet you at a designated spot, do a walk round with you so youre familiar with the layout? Could they buddy you up with someone/others until you at least feel comfortable?
Depending on your area, therew laws about accessibility of public buildings and, whilst I know we've got a long way to go in the UK, it's slowly moving in the right direction.

[ra****]

I’m blind with some limited vision. I get what you’re saying. You kinda just have to throw yourself in because if you don’t, you’ll not get anywhere waiting for other people wondering about interacting with you. You need to make the moves first. Oh and be prepared to fall flat on your face and have a lot of embarrassing moments but own them and learn to laugh at yourself

[Th****]

A lot of munches & sloshes will encourage new people to reach out to organizers ahead of time and arrive early to be introduced and sometimes paired up with a someone who volunteers to help new people socialize and it has nothing to do with a disability, it's just to help new to the group people feel more comfortable. Some local community groups even have events specifically for new people. 

I'd reach out to organizers directly and explain similarly what you've said here. 

[Pu****]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

Sensory impairments aren't an area I have a lot of knowledge of but my thoughts...
Could you reach out to the organisers of any munches/clubs to discuss the emvironment/your needs/the lighting? Could they meet you at a designated spot, do a walk round with you so youre familiar with the layout? Could they buddy you up with someone/others until you at least feel comfortable?
Depending on your area, therew laws about accessibility of public buildings and, whilst I know we've got a long way to go in the UK, it's slowly moving in the right direction.

I’m not very good at asking for those kind of concessions I guess I can ask

[ar****]

3 minutes ago, PurpleNjoyer said:

I’m not very good at asking for those kind of concessions I guess I can ask

Please be unapologetically yourself, and embrace any accommodations that may help you reach your goal. There's no shame in being who you are, and organizers kinda have accommodating people as their top priority.
If you don't ask, you may never get. 😉

[ra****]

Learn. You are going to have to. I did.

[Pu****]

1 hour ago, ravingdrummer said:

I’m blind with some limited vision. I get what you’re saying. You kinda just have to throw yourself in because if you don’t, you’ll not get anywhere waiting for other people wondering about interacting with you. You need to make the moves first. Oh and be prepared to fall flat on your face and have a lot of embarrassing moments but own them and learn to laugh at yourself

I’m very used to falling over, but I don’t know how to not be really embarrassed by it. That’s something that I’ve never learned or come to terms with. That’s something then doesn’t make me feel confident to talk about kink… other than anonymously online lol

[AKA_Copper]

12 minutes ago, PurpleNjoyer said:

I’m not very good at asking for those kind of concessions I guess I can ask

You asked a bunch of internet strangers?
I find it odd that, on a regular basis, people here ask for guidance, and when they receive it, it's instantly dismissed.
What are you planning on doing in future years? You say that you have a deteriorating sight loss. The assumption being that at some point, you'll not be able to see well enough to shop, read labels to prepare meals, be unable to read correspondence, be unable to see when clothing is dirty, be unable to use appliances, orientate yourself when out in the community (as examples) are you not going to ask for support or accept it when its offered?

[Hucklepuck]

Obviously I do not dare to give tips regarding your impacted eyesight. But something that might be interesting and also very inclusive in your case is sense play. Usually it doesn't require sight since we often reduce ourselves and others to that. But being able to just feel touches, different materials and temperature and all without relying on what we see but what we hear, feel, taste, smell and therefore sense is a kinky side you might like to explore since it's not restricted for you or your partner(s) and also an option to be feeling like on a level

[Pa****]

Look what I was trying to say is yes if you feel uncomfortable then start softly at home inviting friends

[ti****]

Your other senses must be heightened though. Maybe that is your superpower!

[ra****]

On 3/22/2025 at 3:23 AM, tigress897 said:

Your other senses must be heightened though. Maybe that is your superpower!

@tigress897 it’s definitely mine 😈

[Pu****]

Thursday at 09:00 PM, CopperKnob said:

You asked a bunch of internet strangers?
I find it odd that, on a regular basis, people here ask for guidance, and when they receive it, it's instantly dismissed.
What are you planning on doing in future years? You say that you have a deteriorating sight loss. The assumption being that at some point, you'll not be able to see well enough to shop, read labels to prepare meals, be unable to read correspondence, be unable to see when clothing is dirty, be unable to use appliances, orientate yourself when out in the community (as examples) are you not going to ask for support or accept it when its offered?

How is me accepting someone’s advice… me dismissing it? I said id ask and I’ve already sent a message to the admin of my local munch. Also, cheers for explaining my disability back to me; that was… very helpful 😒

[Pu****]

20 hours ago, tigress897 said:

Your other senses must be heightened though. Maybe that is your superpower!

I’m not so sure if that’s true. Personally, my hearing is really good, but I think of it more as ‘necessity’ over considering it a superpower

[Pu****]

Thursday at 10:04 PM, Hucklepuck said:

Obviously I do not dare to give tips regarding your impacted eyesight. But something that might be interesting and also very inclusive in your case is sense play. Usually it doesn't require sight since we often reduce ourselves and others to that. But being able to just feel touches, different materials and temperature and all without relying on what we see but what we hear, feel, taste, smell and therefore sense is a kinky side you might like to explore since it's not restricted for you or your partner(s) and also an option to be feeling like on a level

Yeah! I’ve tried this in the past and really enjoyed it. I had a partner that owned a air of noise cancelling headphones - it was a lot of fun, I can recommend this

[Viking3742]

Hi @PurpleNjoyer, 
I well understand your dilema, At 55 having been legally blind since birth, And only in the last few years having dipped my toes into the kink community. 
Additionally to my visual impairment i tend to be very nervous and anxious in social situation were I don;t know anyone or I am meeting new people for the first time. 
In many ways, for the most part the Kink / Fetish community is almost easier than general society, because there is so much awareness and emphasis regarding, Consent, respect and not judging people on their differences or lifestyle choices. Obviously being blind or having a visual impairment is not a lifestyle choice but  the respecting other and nonjudgmental attitude spills over to a large extent to all area's including disability's. At least in my limited 3 - 4 years very tentatively delving into this community I have experinced mush less negativity and toxic judgemental behaviour towards my disability than in general vanilla society. 

In terms of the logisitics of orientation and mobility in clubs and munches, Again in my limited experience they have been dark and often with much subdued lighting or very bright coloured spot lighting particularly reds, violet / purple spot lighting which is especially difficult for me as with my eye condition where i do not have the iris which controls the light coming into the eye like an apeture on a camera, so sudden changes from very bright to very dark takes my one remaining useable eye a lot longer to adjust than for most people. Heck just walking down a footpath where there is a lot of changes in light from full sun to shadow from trees can have me taking of my sunglasses and putting them back on every 20 - 30 seconds under my cap
If you already use a white cane (street name; the blind man stick) for mobility in everyday life either fulltime or just when needed I would strongly recommend using that when visiting clubs etc,  If not for literal mobility reasons, but they also are a great way of highlighting that you have visual issues and that if you accidnetally bump someone, a chair etc. or are percieved to be looking wierdly (yes it's a technical term :-P) at peoole because of your poor vision and they are much less likely to quickly judge or think you are just a rude obnoxious person. You also get the bonus points of it being a conversation starter when people (well, the normal reasonable ones anyway) ask about it in an attempt to learn and understand what it is about and why you use it. Double bonus points if you are comfortable and want to be a bit cheeky, You get to use that to bring into the conversation how blind guys are really good with sticks and balls. :-) and how blind / low vision people are very tactile, (due to life necessity.)  
If you are not a White cane user, perhaps consider the use of a mini guide a small (fits easily in the palm of your hand ) ultrasonic obstacle decector. These are great for smaller spaces where a long cane can be difficult to use. You generally need a little orientantion and mobility training to get proficient using them but they are a lot more discreet than a white cane. if you are concerned about the stigma that can come from some when using them. Or the assumption that becuase you are using a white cane you MUST be completely blind or faking it for sympathy.  

[ra****]

57 minutes ago, Viking3742 said:

Hi PurpleNjoyer, 
I well understand your dilema, At 55 having been legally blind since birth, And only in the last few years having dipped my toes into the kink community. 
Additionally to my visual impairment i tend to be very nervous and anxious in social situation were I don;t know anyone or I am meeting new people for the first time. 
In many ways, for the most part the Kink / Fetish community is almost easier than general society, because there is so much awareness and emphasis regarding, Consent, respect and not judging people on their differences or lifestyle choices. Obviously being blind or having a visual impairment is not a lifestyle choice but  the respecting other and nonjudgmental attitude spills over to a large extent to all area's including disability's. At least in my limited 3 - 4 years very tentatively delving into this community I have experinced mush less negativity and toxic judgemental behaviour towards my disability than in general vanilla society. 

In terms of the logisitics of orientation and mobility in clubs and munches, Again in my limited experience they have been dark and often with much subdued lighting or very bright coloured spot lighting particularly reds, violet / purple spot lighting which is especially difficult for me as with my eye condition where i do not have the iris which controls the light coming into the eye like an apeture on a camera, so sudden changes from very bright to very dark takes my one remaining useable eye a lot longer to adjust than for most people. Heck just walking down a footpath where there is a lot of changes in light from full sun to shadow from trees can have me taking of my sunglasses and putting them back on every 20 - 30 seconds under my cap
If you already use a white cane (street name; the blind man stick) for mobility in everyday life either fulltime or just when needed I would strongly recommend using that when visiting clubs etc,  If not for literal mobility reasons, but they also are a great way of highlighting that you have visual issues and that if you accidnetally bump someone, a chair etc. or are percieved to be looking wierdly (yes it's a technical term :-P) at peoole because of your poor vision and they are much less likely to quickly judge or think you are just a rude obnoxious person. You also get the bonus points of it being a conversation starter when people (well, the normal reasonable ones anyway) ask about it in an attempt to learn and understand what it is about and why you use it. Double bonus points if you are comfortable and want to be a bit cheeky, You get to use that to bring into the conversation how blind guys are really good with sticks and balls. :-) and how blind / low vision people are very tactile, (due to life necessity.)  
If you are not a White cane user, perhaps consider the use of a mini guide a small (fits easily in the palm of your hand ) ultrasonic obstacle decector. These are great for smaller spaces where a long cane can be difficult to use. You generally need a little orientantion and mobility training to get proficient using them but they are a lot more discreet than a white cane. if you are concerned about the stigma that can come from some when using them. Or the assumption that becuase you are using a white cane you MUST be completely blind or faking it for sympathy.  

What you say really resonates I could have written it myself or said similar from my experience in life as a blind person