Threesome vs Throuple

[et****]

I just want to say I'm excited to see so many different people on this app, but I do have a question?


Why do people often confuse threeesomes with actually wanting to be in an actual throuple. We genuinely want to be in a relationship with a third, but I guess we're in the wrong city, let alone the wrong country. Hmm, what do you think.

[Li****]

I think a lot of people, despite being here and on the likes, don't actually ask questions, read up on things or do any research on a lot of things. Then that leads to wild assumptions, judgement or expectations.

All you can really do is try to be as informative and/or detailed in your profile/s as possible and maybe an ad? Then if they do ask and care to know, explain.

It's a lot of expecting and self serving now a days with dating. Not for want of knowledge but just a want for end results (a quick/easy lay)

[Mi****]

Just remember there are a lot of tourists that come through here. A lot of them are just looking for a one time thing. Avoid Broadway, woo girls, and bachelorette parties.

I'm sure y'all are being up front that you are looking for something more, it's more like people don't bother reading bios.

[Deleted Member]

Ask yourself. What's so great about your relationship that anyone would want to join you and your partner on a permanent basis? Most just want to experience a 3some, the act of fucking two different people at the same time. No one really wants to be the 3rd wheel in anyone's dynamic. Couples lie to get a third to commit to their set up. A set up that only benefits the couple. Why have a rule that the 3rd can't fuck other people when you get to fuck your spouse/partner and the 3rd. I wish polyamorous people would stop lying about how things work and be honest with themselves. You're poly not because you have lots of love to give. You're poly because you want to option to always fuck other people.

[Tr****]

Ms Blaque you made some great points but some I’m not with you on. I can’t ever hate name a lot of things that would be great about joining us as a third. A person absolutely benefits from joining us, and why get a third if she will fuck others and we are also. That third would be fucking both of us not always both at the same time. So all three have access to the same people all the time. Now a lot of these thirds out here are full of game, really just sex workers, looking for help or somewhere to stay, attention seekers and the list goes on. For us we are poly and want a third because we don’t desire to just be out here fucking randoms, but finding a third is a task in itself.

[Tr****]

I can name alot (typo)

[Deleted Member]

Been there and refused to participate in that. As a former "unicorn" couples were a nightmare. Why can't I fuck other people? Why settled for one dick? A borrowed one at that. Not worth it to me. I know a few women who are cool with being the permanent side piece. I am not one of those women. I want other dick options.

Good luck on your search.

[Ki****]

3 hours ago, BourgeoisBlaque said:

Ask yourself. What's so great about your relationship that anyone would want to join you and your partner on a permanent basis? Most just want to experience a 3some, the act of fucking two different people at the same time. No one really wants to be the 3rd wheel in anyone's dynamic. Couples lie to get a third to commit to their set up. A set up that only benefits the couple. Why have a rule that the 3rd can't fuck other people when you get to fuck your spouse/partner and the 3rd. I wish polyamorous people would stop lying about how things work and be honest with themselves. You're poly not because you have lots of love to give. You're poly because you want to option to always fuck other people.

Why do people confuses threesomes with being in a throuple? Because there’s aren’t many throuples out there so people don’t really get it. Also because couples look for a bi woman to have a threesome with, but don’t find many, and so they think that maybe if they open up to dating a woman and offer her the security and safety that doesn’t come with casual sex that they might have more luck. Unfortunately there are even less women looking to date a couple than there are wanting to have fun with a couple.

As probably one of a very small number of people on here who is actually in a stable and successful long term throuple, I have to say that there’s so much on this thread that’s not just accurate. Being in a throuple and being poly isn’t about sex. It’s about feelings, love, connection. We could have just kept it casual, but we had feelings for each other, so made it official. Just like couples do. Yes we also enjoy having a lot of sex, which is why we are also open / non-monogamous too. We are not a closed throuple, and the assumption that you have to be closed isn’t correct and is presumably driven by a lot of unicorn hunting couples who don’t understand how to do poly ethically. When a throuple is closed, it’s typically driven by insecurity and the “one penis policy”. It makes no sense to me to say “we will have sex with other people, but only one more extra person.” If anyone suggests this, run a mile.

We didn’t expect our partner to join our dynamic and just fit in. We built a whole new dynamic together. Also, the assumption that it’s just about a guy sleeping with two women completely ignores and invalidates both my partners who are dating each other and enjoy being together. They get as much out of it as I do and the relationship benefits all three of us, not just the original couple, because we built it with that in mind.

I have to say though, I see a lot of couples hunting for a bi women to join their relationship, and this rarely works out. I always recommend couples to date people separately. If a throuple happens to form organically like ours did, then great and good luck. It’s gonna take a lot of communication and breaking down old ideas to make it work, but it’s special iif it does work.

[ey****]

I think partially cos people who say they're looking for a throuple seldom treat the third person as part of the relationship

[et****]

6 hours ago, BourgeoisBlaque said:

Ask yourself. What's so great about your relationship that anyone would want to join you and your partner on a permanent basis? Most just want to experience a 3some, the act of fucking two different people at the same time. No one really wants to be the 3rd wheel in anyone's dynamic. Couples lie to get a third to commit to their set up. A set up that only benefits the couple. Why have a rule that the 3rd can't fuck other people when you get to fuck your spouse/partner and the 3rd. I wish polyamorous people would stop lying about how things work and be honest with themselves. You're poly not because you have lots of love to give. You're poly because you want to option to always fuck other people.

But it be a way to connect with us ya know? And my gf is curious about her bisexuality so it'd be a thing

[Ab****]

Personally I wouldn’t imagine there’s many people who are single and looking for a long term relationship with a couple.. lots of people wanting a threesome though.. it’s quite easy as a single person to find a couple for a threesome. For my relationship, it started as a threesome, but developed into a throuple when we all realised we had strong feelings for each other. It’s complicated making a throuple dynamic work for everyone all of the time, but it’s also very worth it.. 

[et****]

2 minutes ago, Abs_37 said:

Personally I wouldn’t imagine there’s many people who are single and looking for a long term relationship with a couple.. lots of people wanting a threesome though.. it’s quite easy as a single person to find a couple for a threesome. For my relationship, it started as a threesome, but developed into a throuple when we all realised we had strong feelings for each other. It’s complicated making a throuple dynamic work for everyone all of the time, but it’s also very worth it.. 

Interesting. But we're not looking just for sex

[Ab****]

No, but it’s similar to dating, you don’t necessarily know if you’ll be with someone long term until you’ve really had a chance to get to know them.. 

[et****]

2 hours ago, KinkedAndInked said:

Why do people confuses threesomes with being in a throuple? Because there’s aren’t many throuples out there so people don’t really get it. Also because couples look for a bi woman to have a threesome with, but don’t find many, and so they think that maybe if they open up to dating a woman and offer her the security and safety that doesn’t come with casual sex that they might have more luck. Unfortunately there are even less women looking to date a couple than there are wanting to have fun with a couple.

As probably one of a very small number of people on here who is actually in a stable and successful long term throuple, I have to say that there’s so much on this thread that’s not just accurate. Being in a throuple and being poly isn’t about sex. It’s about feelings, love, connection. We could have just kept it casual, but we had feelings for each other, so made it official. Just like couples do. Yes we also enjoy having a lot of sex, which is why we are also open / non-monogamous too. We are not a closed throuple, and the assumption that you have to be closed isn’t correct and is presumably driven by a lot of unicorn hunting couples who don’t understand how to do poly ethically. When a throuple is closed, it’s typically driven by insecurity and the “one penis policy”. It makes no sense to me to say “we will have sex with other people, but only one more extra person.” If anyone suggests this, run a mile.

We didn’t expect our partner to join our dynamic and just fit in. We built a whole new dynamic together. Also, the assumption that it’s just about a guy sleeping with two women completely ignores and invalidates both my partners who are dating each other and enjoy being together. They get as much out of it as I do and the relationship benefits all three of us, not just the original couple, because we built it with that in mind.

I have to say though, I see a lot of couples hunting for a bi women to join their relationship, and this rarely works out. I always recommend couples to date people separately. If a throuple happens to form organically like ours did, then great and good luck. It’s gonna take a lot of communication and breaking down old ideas to make it work, but it’s special iif it does work.

Thank you! It's not just about sex.

[et****]

10 hours ago, LittleSoulTease said:

I think a lot of people, despite being here and on the likes, don't actually ask questions, read up on things or do any research on a lot of things. Then that leads to wild assumptions, judgement or expectations.

All you can really do is try to be as informative and/or detailed in your profile/s as possible and maybe an ad? Then if they do ask and care to know, explain.

It's a lot of expecting and self serving now a days with dating. Not for want of knowledge but just a want for end results (a quick/easy lay)

Thank you for your feedbacj

[et****]

Thank you for your feedback

[Deleted Member]

As a bisexual woman who tried throuple v threesome, there is absolutely no benefit to being a third party in another couples relationship. If she's wants to explore, why lock herself down to two people? Other than hooking up and vacationing together, there are no benefits. You're not building families, sharing wealth or creating a life together. A throuple is usually a temporary set up until the third gets tired and moves on to a relationship of their own. A very common outcome is the third becoming the main and the original couple dissolves. If you want a third, hire someone to help you with that. A sex worker is your best option. Why compromise your relationship by bringing in a stranger? I have never seen women clamoring for a 3rd party. It's always the man desperate to cheat on his women in her face. Women don't disrespect their men like this. Cut the bullshit. You want to fuck other people and have easy supply of pussy. There is no love in these exchanges, just enough courtesy so that the supply of pussy doesn't dry up.

[Gr****]

My ex/baby mama is doing that she’s trying to be in a throuple or least get with the women our the married couple even thinking on moving down where they’re at and I just know it’s gonna end bad for her nothing wrong with tho I don’t judge but when it comes to try to compromise my relationship with my son yea. But doing threesomes every now and then that’s fine or a friend with benefits with a couple is fine but trying turn a married couple and trying to have a relationship with the other and not both ain’t gonna end well for her specially since they have their own 5 kids and want our son to be with their family and try to disregard me

[Do****]

Hi,
I've read some weird assumptions on being poly here. I have a wife ... we are together for 27 years. I love her and we are loyal to each other in terms of honesty and being there for each other.
But I have a boyfriend and she has as well.
I absolutely love my boyfriend and deeply care about him. He is always welcome to our home and has a key.
Him and my wifes boyfriend are considered family members by our ***age kids.

Last year we four spent 2 weeks together traveling to Montenegro and celebrating my wife's boyfriend's birthday with his mother, coworkers and friends, who flew in there as well.

It's not about sex. There is love and deep friendship and absolute honesty. Yes, there is kink involved ... BDSM... some sex.
But there's definitely more to our relationship.

His mother even said to us, that she has never seen him so relaxed and happy for decades and that we should continue whatever we do together.

It was heartwarming to hear from an 83 year old lady.

Poly works. It works with communication like every relationship does.

[et****]

Yesterday at 01:04 AM, Abs_37 said:

No, but it’s similar to dating, you don’t necessarily know if you’ll be with someone long term until you’ve really had a chance to get to know them.. 

Exactly. I want her to know her of course

[ey****]

On 5/9/2025 at 2:00 AM, ethers22 said:

And my gf is curious about her bisexuality so it'd be a thing

this to me is a big reason why you're having issues

so you claim to be serious about being a throuple - but your gf is merely bi-curious.

This means the third would be her experiment

Which in essence sets off the vibe that it's not a throuple at all, it's a second relationship for you under the guise of a throuple.

And some people migh be cool with being a threesome in that set up, as a one-off, particularly in the right set up : but I dare say no one would be interested in being in a throuple they can already see is NOT a throuple.

 

[et****]

Saturday at 03:54 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

this to me is a big reason why you're having issues

so you claim to be serious about being a throuple - but your gf is merely bi-curious.

This means the third would be her experiment

Which in essence sets off the vibe that it's not a throuple at all, it's a second relationship for you under the guise of a throuple.

And some people migh be cool with being a threesome in that set up, as a one-off, particularly in the right set up : but I dare say no one would be interested in being in a throuple they can already see is NOT a throuple.

 

I mean she dated a women before but it never went too far. Maybe personality differences

[et****]

Saturday at 03:54 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

this to me is a big reason why you're having issues

so you claim to be serious about being a throuple - but your gf is merely bi-curious.

This means the third would be her experiment

Which in essence sets off the vibe that it's not a throuple at all, it's a second relationship for you under the guise of a throuple.

And some people migh be cool with being a threesome in that set up, as a one-off, particularly in the right set up : but I dare say no one would be interested in being in a throuple they can already see is NOT a throuple.

 

If we wanted a threesome , that's not hard to do. Trust me hahaha

[ey****]

yep - so you're not offering enough for the person in the threesome to want to be in a relationship with you both.   this has to be of benefit to them.

[et****]

4 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

yep - so you're not offering enough for the person in the threesome to want to be in a relationship with you both.   this has to be of benefit to them.

Obviously lol