Disability in the lifestyle

[MasterTalathian47342]

3 hours ago, uniseeker8782 said:

I have many physical limitations due to mobility and now that I have an ongoing medical issue that requires medical equipment I worry that my partners may see me as incapable. I have had some say "I could have waited until you were healed" as if this very permanent situation is going away.

My current partner is very understanding & doesn't judge me in what I need to do to give and receive pleasure as well as remain comfortable etc. I have found that communication is 1000% necessary. There is no reason that a physical or mental issue should completely limit you from enjoying life. In all aspects, not just in the bedroom.

I completely agree especially about communication. It's good to see partners that understand and accommodate as many others are stating as well.

[Pr****]

Thursday at 06:33 PM, uniseeker8782 said:

I have many physical limitations due to mobility and now that I have an ongoing medical issue that requires medical equipment I worry that my partners may see me as incapable. I have had some say "I could have waited until you were healed" as if this very permanent situation is going away.

My current partner is very understanding & doesn't judge me in what I need to do to give and receive pleasure as well as remain comfortable etc. I have found that communication is 1000% necessary. There is no reason that a physical or mental issue should completely limit you from enjoying life. In all aspects, not just in the bedroom.

I’m not trying to assume anything, but I would hope “I could have waited until you were healed” came from a place of ignorance, as much as it sucks sometimes. Again, I don’t know the whole situation, so take my commentary with a grain of salt.
I do, however, have experience with partners thinking I am incapable of a multitude of things. And yeah it’s hurtful, but I’ve kinda come to a point of “it’s not worth my time.” Like I’m not going to subject myself to dealing with that kind of thing. They get 3 strikes. I get it, not everyone knows or understands, so I’ll give them the opportunity to listen to me and learn about me and my specific needs. But when those needs are ignored, or worse, I’m infantalized, it’s game over lol
I worried about being seen as incapable, among other things, a lot in the beginning, but thanks to a play partner, I’ve been able to come to the realization that it doesn’t matter because the right people will be willing to make it work :)

[Da****]

I do have a physical disability. I had to have total ankle fusion surgery on my right ankle due to diabetes. I also have diabetic ED (yes that is a thing). Having a disability can affect a lot of different aspects of your life. I myself am very limited on my mobility. I can't drive. It does make it hard to get around.

As far as the ED is concerned I find other ways to please my partner. I use toys and other things. Being disabled doesn't mean you stop living, it means you have to get creative in every aspect.

[Pr****]

Thursday at 12:02 PM, Daddyskinky55443 said:

I do have a physical disability. I had to have total ankle fusion surgery on my right ankle due to diabetes. I also have diabetic ED (yes that is a thing). Having a disability can affect a lot of different aspects of your life. I myself am very limited on my mobility. I can't drive. It does make it hard to get around.

As far as the ED is concerned I find other ways to please my partner. I use toys and other things. Being disabled doesn't mean you stop living, it means you have to get creative in every aspect.

Can you not drive because of your ankle? Or is it another issue? I only ask because if it’s because of your ankle being fused, there are options! They’re not always the cheapest, but there are “cheaper” options.

[Ru****]

I'm a disabled kinkster, and it's tough to find partners that can handle the limitations involved.
My natural inclination sexually is to be an active lover, giving pleasure as much or more than I receive, but most of the time my body can't handle the strain that causes. And it's all fun and games until your partner passes out, so I'm often ***d into a much more passive role.
This en***d limitation is often deeply frustrating, like a much less form of bondage that neither of us can control. I am slowly learning to respect my own limits better, but what I need most is Dom's that include enforcing those limitations for my own safety and health as a part of our dynamic.

It's one thing when your partner is frustrated because you can't go down on them, thinking you're holding out on them, but it's a totally different ballgame when my overachieving, but ultimately self harming attempts to express my service are lovingly punished.
It just takes A LOT of searching to find Dominants that are committed to and enjoy that lifestyle. 🤷🏼

[Da****]

June 2, PretttKitty said:

Can you not drive because of your ankle? Or is it another issue? I only ask because if it’s because of your ankle being fused, there are options! They’re not always the cheapest, but there are “cheaper” options.

That and I also have neuropathy in both my feet and in my hands now. Yeah I know about those options and I would rather play it safe than being on the road and end up hurting or even worse killing myself or someone else.

[Sn****]

I’ve technically been disabled for quite some time but have never considered myself as such. I was still able to function with minor accommodations, but as things have slowly declined, I’m struggling with not only how to accept that I am disabled, but what it means for my kink life. Just going to a recent even I was quite unhappy unable to be in the crowd and participating until later when people dispersed a bit and it was less hectic.

[Sl****]

Some disabilities can be harder or easier for a variety of factors. My apartment bathroom is 0% Wheelchair Friendly and my back can't handle carrying someone. On the other hand if someone needs frequent reassurance or has DID, that I can totally do. I can help with anxiety.
I couldn't handle dating someone whose BPD. I can't handle that kind of stress and chaos. For me a lot of it comes down to how much Uncertainty and Stress it causes me, and how good they are at Communicating.

[Sl****]

But ultimately, it depends on what you as an Individual are Willing and Able to Give around specific Disabilities. This is why Communication is ESSENTIAL to see what can and cannot Match.
There's no 1 Size Fits All. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't push your comfort zone a little either. Many times we are Stronger or More Adaptable than we think. That being said, be mindful of your Limits. Don't do things you KNOW would be TOO MUCH!!

[Pr****]

September 20, SluttyMorrigan said:

Some disabilities can be harder or easier for a variety of factors. My apartment bathroom is 0% Wheelchair Friendly and my back can't handle carrying someone. On the other hand if someone needs frequent reassurance or has DID, that I can totally do. I can help with anxiety.
I couldn't handle dating someone whose BPD. I can't handle that kind of stress and chaos. For me a lot of it comes down to how much Uncertainty and Stress it causes me, and how good they are at Communicating.

Depending on your apartment of course because I obviously don’t know what it looks like, but as a wheelchair user I’ve been able to make it work with play partners with inaccessible bathrooms, stairs getting in or getting to the bathroom and so much more. What I’m getting at is whether or not you can carry someone might not be an eliminating factor for a play partner (etc) as it certainly hasn’t been for me! But it also totally could be depending on the person and their individual function and abilities 🙂

[Ra****]

I like to think that if we work together and treat each other right, we can overcome anything. Safety first, and be mindful of each others' limits, but get creative! Hard cases are sort of my specialty. 😌

[Sl****]

Thursday at 08:46 AM, PretttKitty said:

Depending on your apartment of course because I obviously don’t know what it looks like, but as a wheelchair user I’ve been able to make it work with play partners with inaccessible bathrooms, stairs getting in or getting to the bathroom and so much more. What I’m getting at is whether or not you can carry someone might not be an eliminating factor for a play partner (etc) as it certainly hasn’t been for me! But it also totally could be depending on the person and their individual function and abilities 🙂

You can't get into and out of my bathroom without walking, and my friend is completely wheelchair bound. I have a really weak back, so I can't carry her at all. This it doesn't work at all for that, but we've hung out in public and her old place as friends

[Fu****]

Just curious why you say youre not a Disabled person but shared you have PTSD? Are you meaning like officially not able to employed and earning income? Sorry I'm easily confused just to be clear. I'm in no way trying to be argumentative or assume anything. As for myself I recently have found myself to be a disabled person which is difficult to me to say for many reasons. I'm ok physically but mentally not even. *** from extreme narcissistic or more accurate to say psychopath honestly. I was literally prisoner in my own home for 5 yrs thanks to the law giving her the (mis)use of a no contact order. I wasn't "allowed" to do anything really. Pretty much trained by my Dom as a slave but non bdsm and non consensual. A kind of funny way to describe it I guess? There was a master plan/threat that was a big part of being controlled that was actually the 1 single true thing she said, ever. "If we break up I'm getting you arrested, taking everything you own and never letting you see your son." That doesn't sound fun so I did everything I could but the inevitable happened. Long story short my brain is not fully functioning because I can't even think about my son because it is so heavy emotionally and that road get very dark and dangerous so I have to constantly try to not think about a what is always on my mind. I don't like to sleep because I dream of him/her/them and waking up to my life without them is a nightmare of reality. I wish I could just get a job and have a life again but I had to be honest and say I'm disabled. Not forever hopefully! I'm doing things to get better but this is harder than I ever imagined. I haven't been alive since they left. Not living a life just surviving barely. But surviving never the less! I relate my disability to the fetish world in the same way anything else, it's an obstacle that makes things more difficult. I'm not very kinky but I'm a big advocate of sexual freedom and people doing what makes them happy. Open minded and never judgemental. Honest and not afraid to tell my kinks and perversion. I want to be adventurous with other kinksters but to be honest I have a disability that's hindering my desire to be the true freaky me freely as I'd like.

[Fu****]

I just learned they censor some words on here..... After posting that just now. Good to know! You can't say ah-bee-yous-ed . 😉

[ob****]

i can't talk

[Vulkan69]

Have you ever dealt with either in yourself or others?

I have a hidden disability as well as fibromyalgia,  I once had a playdate with someone who used a wheelchair
How did you handle it?
For me - just managing energy, sometimes can't go 'full bore' crazy stuff because of energy limitations,
for the other person it was a non issue, just discussing limits and expectations.

What did you do to navigate around it?
Basically communication, even people who are 'obviously' physically disabled have to be compos mentis to be able to consent etc so it's just about talking clearly, frankly and not tiptoing around anything.

Are there certain ones that put you off a person?
Not particularly. I think even though it was only 1 playdate it did open my eyes a bit more to people who are often seen as a bit 'invisible' by society which is sad because pervs like us come in all shapes and sizes!