Su**** Posted May 20 For me, it's just who I am. I do it because that's what I enjoy as opposed to vanilla sex. For me, it's like asking why I engage in eating bacon. Because I looked it and eating it makes me happy. No more reason required.
Ro**** Posted May 20 I find having control in who I give control has made me feel whole and grew my path in self confidence. To trust someone that much in showing my vulnerabilities and feeling safe while doing so is definitely is a sort of freedom.
Ti**** Posted May 20 I think it has to do with the way our inner self understands acceptance and love. It is of course unique for everyone.
Deleted Member Posted May 20 Because therapy is expensive, hugs are suspicious, and “tell me you love me” doesn’t hit quite the same as “yes master, may i have another.” Psychological needs fulfilled? Validation ... control ... releasing control. Attention without small talk. And sometimes, just having someone finally ask, “What do you need?” -- but with rope in hand.
Ka**** Posted May 20 I think the new and different experiences excite me and learning new and more things is fun and feels like almost taboo and makes me want to see just how much I can learn and do with the right people or person
Di**** Posted May 20 Often times people with high stress jobs or jobs where they are high up love the life style to relax
ch**** Posted May 21 Monday at 10:01 PM, MajestyButterfly81 said: With as bad as my health is, I feel I have very little control in my life. Being a Domme lets me take back some of that control Totally agreed I am similar
Deleted Member Posted May 22 Monday at 09:24 PM, Tiggyburgy said: For many, especially with extreme kinks, it comes from trauma. It’s a way of our brains telling us that we can totally enjoy the experience when there is consent involved. It’s a way of taking the power back from a traumatic experience. I agree with this!
Da**** Posted May 23 For others, it could be neither of those, but rather physical. I, for one, struggled with a **** addiction for most of my life and all of my sexual experiences were influenced by that same addiction. Since I got clean (4 years ago), the orgasm sensation just has never been the same as I've always known it to be. Practicing in my partner's (when I have one) kinks is what allows me that true release that can get as close to what I know it's never going to be again. Also, exploring other's kinks is kinda a kink of mine now, as it allows me to find other kinks that I may not have been aware of previously. Sorry about the long comment 😂
ri**** Posted May 27 Because everyone needs a little excitement in their lives and if ya got a boring sex life then the need to spice it up comes about. It's fun to experience new sexual adventures!
Deleted Member Posted May 28 I am interested in kink for connecting with community and for a deeper understanding of myself. I’m self-training at the moment, mostly emotional and mental development currently, and learning about a kink that I have struggled to wrap my head around. I feel it meets the need to know myself and be comfortable in my own skin and to keep my mind engaged with learning new things and of course the social aspect meeting other kinksters.
A_**** Posted June 4 I personally like it because it makes me feel more wanted and valued to the other person. Even if already explicit expressed verbally, some things are better done than said imo
Go**** Posted July 10 Most kinks are something we have discovered that makes us say to ourselves OMG I MUST have/do that. When engaged in the kink you actually get off harder and happier than " normal" interactions. Hope that helps.
Sl**** Posted September 24 There's multiple different reasons: For some there's comfort and security. It can help turn your brain off and help you be Present and Mindful. It can be Extra Stimulating and Pleasurable. It can be about Gender Affirming Care (Good Boy/Girl/Toy). It can be about clear communication and guidelines.
en**** Posted September 28 Oh what do you know, my friend just asked me a similar question today--"what does being a dom nourish in you?"--so I'll just share the same thing I said to them! Confidence is the first thing that comes to mind for me--domming makes me feel more confident and self-assured. Both confident in myself and in my connection with my play partner. The next thing that comes to mind for me is actually just remembering something I read in The Topping Book when they were talking about "why do people top/dom anyway" which they just described as the feeling of "bigness". And I think I vibe with that a lot. Just the feeling that you *take up space* and that you have the *right* to take up space, that you are in some way significant and worth being noticed. And the more I think on it now, maybe the most important one for me is the feeling of agency? Because that's something I really struggle with in my day to day, just believing that I have the capacity to effect change and results in the world around me and that I'm not a hapless victim of the universe just being washed down the stream--but domming makes me feel like I do have that capacity, like my actions and choices actually matter.
Sl**** Posted October 7 People engage with Kink for a Variety of Reasons. Sexual Pleasure and Stimulation in General. Exploration and Healing of Trauma. Feelings of Safety and Nurturing. Getting Needs met, ESPECIALLY ones you were Deprived of or Missed Out on. It can be Stress Relief and Mindfulness.
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