A Lesson or Two for Female Subs:

[Ma****]

Lesson 1: You Say You Want a Dominant... But Do You Know What That Means?

You say you want a Dominant.

And deep down, I believe you.
But you haven’t yet figured out exactly what it is you're craving.
You feel the ache… the pull… but you can’t name it. Can’t explain it. And when the moment comes? You don’t always know how to act on it.

Like many modern girls, you spend a lot of time in your head.
But submission doesn’t live there. It’s not something you think your way into.

To truly surrender — to feel the raw, grounding joy of letting go — you need to drop out of your mind and back into your body… in touch with your heart.
Your mind’s only job here is alertness — not feeding you stories.
Let your Dom do the thinking.
You do the being.

You say, “I want to be owned,” but do you truly understand what it means to belong to someone?
You say, “I want to be used,” but do you know what it takes to be useful?
You say, “Train me,” but do you have the patience, courage and determination it demands?

It's okay to feel lost in the beginning.
You’re not weak for being unsure.
You’re not broken for feeling conflicted.

But you are at a crossroads.

Because wanting a Dominant isn’t about finding a man who calls the shots when you’re turned on.
It’s about finding someone who sees what you are… even before you do.
And who doesn’t ask for permission.
He claims. (Of course — consensually.)

True submission begins when you stop trying to define it… and start feeling it.
When your body responds before your mind can resist.
When obedience feels more natural than control ever did.

If you’re honest with yourself…
You don’t just want to play the part.
You want to be unraveled.
You want to be taken seriously.
You want to be taken.

---

✦ Let’s discuss:

Submissive girls —
What’s your understanding of what’s written here? And more importantly…
How do you feel — not think, but feel — your Dominant should act in order to help your true submission unfold?

Dominant men —
How do you create the environment — in this modern world full of distraction — where your submissive can get in touch with her emotions, build the courage to let go, and fully experience herself?

[Ra****]

Curious why this is gendered.

[Ma****]

9 minutes ago, Rainbowsandunicorns said:

Curious why this is gendered.

Because as a straight Male Dom, all my experiences and studies and understandings has formed with respect to MaleDom/FemaleSub dynamic. I don't have expertise or enough experience on other versions so I tend to not talk about what I don't know and stick to what I do know.

[Deleted Member]

From my point of view, I crave submission, but not to just anyone. People laugh that I seek connection, but the truth is I feel that you can only truly submit if the following things are in place

1) Connection- knowing someone being known
2) Trust

We live in a world where women are no longer encouraged to be feminine, instead we required to always be strong because most men are not able to provide the environment for us to be, and embrace our femininity. What my submission requires is the above two things with a man who is dominant enough that I want and choose to submit to them. This leads me to that illusive subspace.

The community has lost its way a little, and the nuances of power dynamics have been lost compared to what I experienced 20 years ago!

At least... that is my experience...

[Ma****]

8 minutes ago, Altsub said:

From my point of view, I crave submission, but not to just anyone. People laugh that I seek connection, but the truth is I feel that you can only truly submit if the following things are in place

1) Connection- knowing someone being known
2) Trust

We live in a world where women are no longer encouraged to be feminine, instead we required to always be strong because most men are not able to provide the environment for us to be, and embrace our femininity. What my submission requires is the above two things with a man who is dominant enough that I want and choose to submit to them. This leads me to that illusive subspace.

The community has lost its way a little, and the nuances of power dynamics have been lost compared to what I experienced 20 years ago!

At least... that is my experience...

That is true! Dominance/Masculinity are traits on initiation and Femininity/Submission are traits of reception! For Femininity to flourish it needs a presence of a true healthy masculine dom to initiate and demand it, someone that in his presence you can't help yourself but being feminine

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, MaestroBDSM said:

That is true! Dominance/Masculinity are traits on initiation and Femininity/Submission are traits of reception! For Femininity to flourish it needs a presence of a true healthy masculine dom to initiate and demand it, someone that in his presence you can't help yourself but being feminine

Exactly! It's not about being bullied. In fact, from the messages I get, I believe there is confusion from many 'Doms' of what Dominance snd being a Dom actually is! The majority of it borders of narcissism and threats... that is not Dominance! Dominance can be something as simple as a hand on my lower back, guiding me gently but firmly as much as it is the rough...