Completely different vibe.

[RZ****]

Have you ever gotten a completely different vibe when meeting an individual in person versus the one you felt while communicating online? Happened to me twice, two different individuals. Curious if it's common, or just me

[si****]

Yup! Made me super uncomfortable too. Like what happened to the person I thought I was talking too?!?!

[cl****]

It definitely happens. People tend to only show what they want people to see online

[Ha****]

Define vibe. I’m somewhere in the middle. I like enough conversation to feel a sense of connection and safety, but not so much that it starts to feel like a pen pal situation. Ideally, if the vibe is right, I’m open to meeting within a couple of weeks; just to see if the energy carries over in person. I like to go into it with no expectations so either way, there are no hurt feelings.

[Do****]

I always say if they dont want to meet by the end of the first week they have something to hide and it is normally true thus they dont have much time to make up themselves to be perfect

[TimberTara]

There’s a classic sex and the city episode. The girls are having Sunday brunch and they’re talking about how some guys are great on the lousy in person. Some are lousy on the phone great in person.

It’s like Forrest Gump said you never know until you bite into it

[Ki****]

Simple problems deserve simple solutions, if you’re a dom, require your sub to not masturbate for 48 hrs. This would leave her sufficiently aroused for the meetup. You do it too, and thank me later

[ge****]

I think there are a number of factors that can come into play here - firstly, as others have pointed out, on-line people can show whatever side of themselves they want, and that isn't so easy to do in person.
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Secondly I think at times it's not uncommon for people to build others up as something "more" in on-line communication.
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For some the eagerness and in some cases desperation, to make a connection with someone leads them to see things that aren't there.
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I've been very fortunate to make some amazing contacts on-line down the years, some who I've never met in person, but still consider to be amongst my closest friends - but it takes time and openness and honesty on both sides.
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You don't have to rush to meet people, in fact a lot of the time I'd caution against it - because if it is someone trying to deceive, what else are they deceiving you about? Taking time allows you to see behind the facade a little.

[OB****]

It happens the other way too. There are so many filters out there that photos can be made to look totally different. Also, people feel safe online, so more personality comes out without any real barriers. I do like the philosophy of not meeting in a week means something is wrong. I think I will apply that as well.

[Se****]

Talking online is different than having a conversation face to face. Here I can talk openly and not to worry that I get judge or discriminate. I haven't meet with anyone yet but I know myself that I might succumb of shyness and insecurities that I might give different vibe. Also the expectations from your side may cause your disappointments.

[Se****]

48 minutes ago, OB1Kenobi said:

It happens the other way too. There are so many filters out there that photos can be made to look totally different. Also, people feel safe online, so more personality comes out without any real barriers. I do like the philosophy of not meeting in a week means something is wrong. I think I will apply that as well.

I agree on some extent on this but the meeting up. Its just my opinion but I won't meet with anyone for mere a week of chatting here. Maybe bcoz im new and exploring still about kinks and haven't been in one. But it's also for safety and if not all most women will try to have emotional and conversation attraction first and I doubt in a week it can be build.

[cu****]

I have definitely experienced this even in vanilla dating. I'll feel an amazing vibe while messaging with someone and then there is zero chemistry upon meeting. It's just part of meeting people online. I do feel like meeting as soon as you feel comfortable is important to suss those things out. I dont wanna build someone up in my mind and then be disappointed when we arent compatible. What a waste of time. Since we should be vetting for safety anyway, the first meet ups should be somewhere public without any play anyway so there is no more risk meeting a kinky person IRL as there would be going on a first vanilla date. But just my humble opinion

[Ar****]

Yes. So much about a person - including ourselves - is impossible to discern online, and projection is real. That's why it's so important never to rush connections.

[ch****]

This is a good example why texting is subpar communication, the sentence " where are you. " or "what are you up too?" Or any other is 💯 dependent on YOUR frame of mind not the one sending the text. So in reading texts while in the mood or from someone you were already in the mood with will be read in that mind set. With that mental image you created. In person it removes that mental condition connected to the texting and obliterates the imagined person. A way that could help is after some trust is established start trading voice messages instead of text, then work to FaceTime, that way you associate the real person with the mood being created. Texting is a lot like verbal voyeurism so it looses something when exposed to reality.

[ey****]

add in - folk can build a mental picture of someone in their head from online interactions, and it's our own world building here that's wrong 

[Deleted Member]

I always hold out my expectations till the first initial meet. The first meet should always be a casual tea/coffee date in a crowded place just so you can get their vibe and see if there is a connection.

I met someone online with a great connection but in person they were glued to their phone, snarky, ignorant and just plane rude and oblivious to me actually being there to the point it took them 30 minutes to realise I had left them walking on nattering on their phone as I sat on a bench 🤣

It's easy to put a front on when online hence why a casual coffee/tea date means your not stuck with a weirdo if they turn out to be one.

[YoursMaybe]

23 hours ago, central-fire12345 said:

Talking online is different than having a conversation face to face. Here I can talk openly and not to worry that I get judge or discriminate. I haven't meet with anyone yet but I know myself that I might succumb of shyness and insecurities that I might give different vibe. Also the expectations from your side may cause your disappointments.

shyness and insecurities are cool. Good people can recognize and understand that. It's just, some people pretend to be someone completely different online. For example, Nice and sweet online; actually very rude IRL

[Ts****]

Mmm