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Not many dommes around here?


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Posted
2 minutes ago, TemptressM said:

I actually did not imply that you did that,  I said thats what we get in our inboxes.  I asked you what you did.  Also what I meant as a decent message was more than a hello.  You asked for an opinion I was giving you mine. 

Oh I see. Well I apologise then.

 

3 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

You don't want a fight, you want a challenge. It IS a loop, it'll continue until you break it by learning whatever lesson it is.

What lesson it could be I have no idea!

TemptressM
Posted

I get that its frustrating to come across only pro or scammer.  You also obviously don't want someone thats older that narrows things down drastically for you.  But think for a second what you would do in real life to approach someone,  the work that you have to put in to be able to get a hello, how are you back.  

So taking that into consideration if you use that to your advantage it might help you.  Also Online isnt actually impossible,  I have online subs and in fact have 2 that I will be meeting when I get back to the UK,  so its not impossible but again it does mean putting a little more work in from both sides so that it doesnt become boring. 

You also never said what you did to try and get someones attention or is it that you are not finding anyone ?  

Posted
27 minutes ago, TemptressM said:

I get that its frustrating to come across only pro or scammer.  You also obviously don't want someone thats older that narrows things down drastically for you.  But think for a second what you would do in real life to approach someone,  the work that you have to put in to be able to get a hello, how are you back.  

So taking that into consideration if you use that to your advantage it might help you.  Also Online isnt actually impossible,  I have online subs and in fact have 2 that I will be meeting when I get back to the UK,  so its not impossible but again it does mean putting a little more work in from both sides so that it doesnt become boring. 

You also never said what you did to try and get someones attention or is it that you are not finding anyone ?  

Well, I did get a few people's attention but then wasn't really sure if it was what I wanted or not so went away for a while then came back. Plus I have ultra-specific preferences I'm trying to relax a bit.

Posted

@BlushingFlushhave you ever considered finding a Domina, willing to train you in the art of dominance?  There really are Dommes out there, eager to share what they know.  Part of learning dominance, involves being trained as a submissive or slave.  You get to experience the whip from both ends, so-to-speak.  I think that you would enjoy it.  Perhaps, you could try approaching Dominas from that perspective.  It's a much narrower field.  But, they are out there.

Posted
2 minutes ago, phoenyx said:

@BlushingFlushhave you ever considered finding a Domina, willing to train you in the art of dominance?  There really are Dommes out there, eager to share what they know.  Part of learning dominance, involves being trained as a submissive or slave.  You get to experience the whip from both ends, so-to-speak.  I think that you would enjoy it.  Perhaps, you could try approaching Dominas from that perspective.  It's a much narrower field.  But, they are out there.

Oh, that would be a good idea. I could get a regular domme first then find one of those when ready to move "up" a level. They should have male doms too that are willing to train submissives how to be dommes.

Posted
On 6/7/2020 at 2:46 PM, BlushingFlush said:

What does interest me is the idea of finding a dominant personality I can sort of compete with and then maybe even unintentionally "lose" to.

Or play with them a little, let them think they are "winning". 

These two sentences really stuck out for me. This comes off to me as more on the Primal side? What does anyone else think? I’m definitely no expert, especially at this topic, so I apologize if I’m way off base. I was chatting with someone on here the other day and they were helping me understand Primal play a bit and it sounded similar to that. Maybe looking in that area will give you better results? 

Posted
28 minutes ago, Jinxy said:

These two sentences really stuck out for me. This comes off to me as more on the Primal side? What does anyone else think? I’m definitely no expert, especially at this topic, so I apologize if I’m way off base. I was chatting with someone on here the other day and they were helping me understand Primal play a bit and it sounded similar to that. Maybe looking in that area will give you better results? 

I don't read into it that much. For me submissive is just bottom is just primal prey. Three different terms for the same thing. But I don't mind if others are inclined to view them differently.

Posted
4 hours ago, BlushingFlush said:

I don't read into it that much. For me submissive is just bottom is just primal prey. Three different terms for the same thing. But I don't mind if others are inclined to view them differently.

Thing is... a lot of people do make the distinctions. This could cause missed opportunities and connections because while you might be into something that would interest a Primal partner, they might think you aren’t because you say you’re only interested in a submissive (or dominant). That’s just an example. But I think being clear with all your interests, even if you don’t necessarily distinguish between some of them, will help others know where you’re coming from. This is where kink labels tend to be helpful. It doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to exactly that label description but it will help you tailor your searching to people who would actually be compatible to your interests. It might help avoid continued disappointments in not receiving the response you are looking for. 

Posted
11 minutes ago, Jinxy said:

Thing is... a lot of people do make the distinctions. This could cause missed opportunities and connections because while you might be into something that would interest a Primal partner, they might think you aren’t because you say you’re only interested in a submissive (or dominant). That’s just an example. But I think being clear with all your interests, even if you don’t necessarily distinguish between some of them, will help others know where you’re coming from. This is where kink labels tend to be helpful. It doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to exactly that label description but it will help you tailor your searching to people who would actually be compatible to your interests. It might help avoid continued disappointments in not receiving the response you are looking for. 

Well in my profile I put submissive, primal prey and would put bottom but they don't have it. So I don't think there would be much ambiguity in that regard.

  • 2 weeks later...
SparkySparks
Posted (edited)
On 6/7/2020 at 3:46 PM, BlushingFlush said:

 

I just get grouchy sometimes because of my hay fever and the fact it means I can't get out the house for  very long without feeling like scratching my eyes out & sneezing till my lungs get sore. Especially at the start of summer *sigh. Plus covid means I'm not likely to meet any new people soon or apply for any cool jobs but I guess everyone is feeling the frustration at lock down.

Edit: didn't realize you apologized. My mistake

Edited by SparkySparks
Posted
On 6/7/2020 at 10:20 PM, BlushingFlush said:

Oh, that would be a good idea. I could get a regular domme first then find one of those when ready to move "up" a level. They should have male doms too that are willing to train submissives how to be dommes.

As a Dom, I'm always open to mentor people who are wishing to Explore being a Dom/me. Having started as a sub and realising that I was a Dom, I know how things changed in my own mind and found the inner me. I have a very strong Primal hunter side but I'm also a sensualist Dom. I often think of myself as being split between the two roles but i cant be both at the same time.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

No doubt   there are some  good dommes  but  in the last  week i have  spoke  to 3  for  about  an hour  each  time  then all  of a sudden   they want 200 pound   for  some kits     if  dommes  are  after  ***  just   say  dont lead  subs  on    thinking they have found  a domme  it  makes  us want to  give up   at the moment  im not  so sure  there sre  aby genuine dommes  on this  site

Posted
35 minutes ago, lesmond691 said:

all  of a sudden   they want 200 pound   for  some kits     if  dommes  are  after  ***  just   say  dont lead  subs  on 

those aren't Dommes, they're scammers

Posted (edited)
On 7/14/2020 at 7:52 AM, lesmond691 said:

No doubt   there are some  good dommes  but  in the last  week i have  spoke  to 3  for  about  an hour  each  time  then all  of a sudden   they want 200 pound   for  some kits     if  dommes  are  after  ***  just   say  dont lead  subs  on    thinking they have found  a domme  it  makes  us want to  give up   at the moment  im not  so sure  there sre  aby genuine dommes  on this  site

The clue they're scammers is they usually demand an email within a very short time frame. Or personal information - never give them that because they can blackmail you. Also demanding complete and utter servitude before actually talking to you properly - they have no "game". They're like the equivalent of guys that just straight up send women dick pics without piquing their interest first. I still engage them for a short time with the hope they're not scammers but they inevitably are.

Edited by Deleted Member
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