Midnight thoughts

[Su****]

“The Void Between Heartbeats”

I want to scream.
Shout.
Rip that rotten thing out of my aching chest.

Tears.
Anger.
Sadness.
Disappointment…

In her?
No.

In myself.

Why.
Why.
WHY!

Fuck.
Fuck me and this stupid little brain—
Always the same.
Always.

It’s like a curse was cast on my body
To forever wander alone
On this forsaken planet.

Emptiness.
And yet—
I can feel it crushing my ribcage.

How can a void
Fill so much space?

How can your own heart
Shatter not once—
But twice—
In a million pieces?

Each one
Piercing through flesh
Tearing through bone
Penetrating my fucking soul.

Nonchalant.
Who cares?
They told me—
You’ll get hurt.

Whatever.
Same shit, different day.

Or is it?

Can a broken bone
Heal
Without permanent scarring?

What if it breaks again?
And again?
And again?

Shattered
Into a thousand little pieces
Each one carrying
The burden of infinite ***—
And the curse of living.

I can heal.
...Can I?
Do I even deserve to?

Maybe.
Maybe not.

What’s it called again—
When you do the same thing
Over and over
Expecting a different result?

Insanity?
Stupidity?
Or do they call it...
Hope?

Sometimes,
I think it’s easier
To just fall.

Become the villain.
No rules.
No brakes.

Free falling serenity.
Into the warm embrace
Of nothing.

At least the void of death
Isn’t as agonizing
As the void of living.

That’s a guess.
But damn the gods
If there’s something worse.

What am I even doing?
I don’t know.
I don’t know anymore.

...Did I ever?

Imagine—
Hiking up
The most dangerous mountain.

You bleed.
You hurt.
You freeze.
You push.

You give it your all.
You give it everything.

And then—
One day—
Out of the blue
It strikes.

The sudden blade
Of fate.
Straight into your spine.

All those struggles,
All that fire,
All that goddamn potential
Bleeding out
Into the snow.

Icy winds.
Stormy nights.
And silence.


A white blanket
Covering all those gruesome trails.

No struggle.
No ***.
No ***.
Nor life.


Just peace.


As the sun slowly rises again—
To lure another
Into the trap
Of its warm embrace.


...What a fucking waste.

[du****]

Interesting

[Th****]

This was beautifully sad I can relate to such intense emotions myself.

[el****]

Hello Sue, 😁
I'm Lewis. 🤪
I am very interested in getting to know you. 😊

Lmk...