Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 It is, if you said "a black male" it would be racist..the fact that skin colour is mentioned in a derogatory way about an education system...if it was a black make struggling with accessing education...like her point was about. 100% that would be racist, by definition, if we change the colour but keep the phrase the exact same. Its racist.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 14 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: Yeah but I think they are right and that is the beauty of this world...we are free to think and feel what we want and not care if anyone thinks otherwise You can think and feel what you want but that doesn't prevent you from being wrong and potentially causing harm, even if the harm is unintentional.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 3 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: No. The sub consents and submits to the dominant's power. The whole "no true dominant is fulfilled w/o a sub" is romanticizing and probably not the healthiest perspective to have. But it is true. No good man even is complete with out a wife and good, healthy relationship. A man needs the right women to be completely fulfilled. Just like a dominant needs the right submissive to be completely fulfilled.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 2 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: You can think and feel what you want but that doesn't prevent you from being wrong and potentially causing harm, even if the harm is unintentional. Deflecting from your racist comment...cool.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 2 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: It is, if you said "a black male" it would be racist..the fact that skin colour is mentioned in a derogatory way about an education system...if it was a black make struggling with accessing education...like her point was about. 100% that would be racist, by definition, if we change the colour but keep the phrase the exact same. Its racist. The mere mention of skin color isn't always problematic, context matters. She wasn't being derogatory and wasn't commenting on you struggling. She was saying that she doesn't owe you her labor and white men specifically, very often feel entitled to free labor from others, especially women.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 2 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: But it is true. No good man even is complete with out a wife and good, healthy relationship. A man needs the right women to be completely fulfilled. Just like a dominant needs the right submissive to be completely fulfilled. Yeah, that's a super unhealthy way to think.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 2 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: Deflecting from your racist comment...cool. No, still trying to get you to see how putting the weight of responsibility onto a sub isn't safe. And nobody has made any racist comments.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 She wasnt being derogatory she was commenting on you struggling while mentioning your skin tone and perceived labour that she was doing for you and your overzealous sense of entitlement when all I was actually doing was asking questions...
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 1 minute ago, ManchesterDom98 said: She wasnt being derogatory she was commenting on you struggling while mentioning your skin tone and perceived labour that she was doing for you and your overzealous sense of entitlement when all I was actually doing was asking questions... And you were getting answers. But you also aren't owed being spoon fed everything.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 5 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: The mere mention of skin color isn't always problematic, context matters. She wasn't being derogatory and wasn't commenting on you struggling. She was saying that she doesn't owe you her labor and white men specifically, very often feel entitled to free labor from others, especially women. Yeah, this is a super unhealthy way to think.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 6 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: Yeah, that's a super unhealthy way to think. I have been raised in a family, with all my family members, including the females all think the same when it comes to marriage and fulfillment. It is a very widely accepted view from where I am from. Again, another beautiful thing about the world.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 1 minute ago, ManchesterDom98 said: Yeah, this is a super unhealthy way to think. And this attitude is exactly why people got frustrated with you and dropped out of the conversation. It's not a "way to think" it's reality.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 Just now, ManchesterDom98 said: I have been raised in a family, with all my family members, including the females all think the same when it comes to marriage and fulfillment. It is a very widely accepted view from where I am from. Again, another beautiful thing about the world. Just because something is widely believed doesn’t make it true or healthy. Any expert on mental/emotional health and well being would say the same.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 9 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: Yeah, that's a super unhealthy way to think. Yeahh, its not a way to think...its reality. reality is, a good man needs the right woman.
ey**** Posted July 10, 2025 2 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: Yeah, that's a super unhealthy way to think. yep I'm going to bed now - and - well, given that this thread being taken so far repeatedly off topic I suspect the mods may do some understandable housekeeping - so I'll post this, leave it and see what's there in the morning the amount of men of any role or dynamic who ultimately run into so many problems because they feel they are 'not complete' without a sub/Domme/partner/etc is nuts and also horrifying - and I mean this in defence of the men. I'm not saying there are not women do this also, cos they are. But - it ends up leading guys to make bad decisions. They end up staying with partners or in dynamics which is not right for them because they feel it's better than nothing they sometimes end up adapting their own wants/needs around that of their partner above reasonable compromise and somehow kidding them it's the right thing to do - and then 5, 10, 20 years down the line find they're stuck in a relationship they're actually not happy with Sometimes this can translate in both submission and Dominance - both the "I'll do anything" submissives - or the submissives who will be hesitant to say no or safeword for *** of upseting their Dominant (no matter how reassured they might be) - a point apt on this thread But in Dominants it can be the more, well, often allowing their subs to lead - people pleasing, perhaps not communicating what they'd like to do for *** the sub will say no. Taking play with anyone who is available, rather than someone they want to. But aside from the bad decisions in relationships - it can of course lead to assorted problems, depression, loneliness, etc outside of relationships. And that, well, can have severe consequences. We're all more than just our partners. I know that's easy for me to say, happily married - not short of other play outside of that. But there's been times in the past where yeah, I ended up on the wrong path feeling I *needed* a partner. Things only headed onto the right path (and, ultimately, to a partner) when I could be content with or without. Anyhow. Some of this might be received well. It probably won't. As I say I'd be surprised if this thread is still fully in tact come the morning but hey ho. Night night everyone.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 11 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: And you were getting answers. But you also aren't owed being spoon fed everything. That still makes it racist...you didn't understand my comment did you. Re-read it two or three times, let it sink it.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: yep I'm going to bed now - and - well, given that this thread being taken so far repeatedly off topic I suspect the mods may do some understandable housekeeping - so I'll post this, leave it and see what's there in the morning the amount of men of any role or dynamic who ultimately run into so many problems because they feel they are 'not complete' without a sub/Domme/partner/etc is nuts and also horrifying - and I mean this in defence of the men. I'm not saying there are not women do this also, cos they are. But - it ends up leading guys to make bad decisions. They end up staying with partners or in dynamics which is not right for them because they feel it's better than nothing they sometimes end up adapting their own wants/needs around that of their partner above reasonable compromise and somehow kidding them it's the right thing to do - and then 5, 10, 20 years down the line find they're stuck in a relationship they're actually not happy with Sometimes this can translate in both submission and Dominance - both the "I'll do anything" submissives - or the submissives who will be hesitant to say no or safeword for *** of upseting their Dominant (no matter how reassured they might be) - a point apt on this thread But in Dominants it can be the more, well, often allowing their subs to lead - people pleasing, perhaps not communicating what they'd like to do for *** the sub will say no. Taking play with anyone who is available, rather than someone they want to. But aside from the bad decisions in relationships - it can of course lead to assorted problems, depression, loneliness, etc outside of relationships. And that, well, can have severe consequences. We're all more than just our partners. I know that's easy for me to say, happily married - not short of other play outside of that. But there's been times in the past where yeah, I ended up on the wrong path feeling I *needed* a partner. Things only headed onto the right path (and, ultimately, to a partner) when I could be content with or without. Anyhow. Some of this might be received well. It probably won't. As I say I'd be surprised if this thread is still fully in tact come the morning but hey ho. Night night everyone. I really hope, if anything they only close the thread and don't delete comments. There's been a lot of effort and labor offered here and good information shared, even if off the original topic and people can still benefit from reading it in the future. All your points apply, regardless of gender or orientation and even in vanilla relationships. Thank you for taking the time to explain because I'm really running out of energy trying to help someone who doesn't seem to want the help.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2025 8 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: That still makes it racist...you didn't understand my comment did you. Re-read it two or three times, let it sink it. It really doesn't, that's not how racism works.
Do**** Posted July 10, 2025 Crikey! I thought what a beautiful post this was and wanted to see what subs thoughts were. Hoping to see subs chatting between themselves about what they particularly liked and felt. But it’s turned into an argument!! What a missed opportunity for a beautiful discussion. The female Domme and male sub dynamic is very different to the male Dom and female sub. The nature, activities, relationship, having the woman in the Dominant role has an impact to. I’m not sure a male Dom can speak to the power balance in that dynamic. Whenever I’ve had a male Dom switching, they have really not understood how the ego is not part of it when it’s this way around, and haven’t been able to fully engage in the connection. It’s on a different level. It’s a different connection. But I would love to hear subs thoughts on what they like about making a connection with a Domme. It’s always good to know what is felt, wanted, matters etc.
Ma**** Posted July 10, 2025 55 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: We hear what you're saying but it's flawed. You're still putting the weight of responsibility on the sub. Even in the best of circumstances there are times where a submissive truly might not be able to. Only going off whether or not they call red is potentially dangerous. This is something Doms should know and be aware of so they're not *solely* relying on the sub's judgement and communication. Part of the Dom's consent is accepting this responsibility. Please could you explain how only going off wether they say red or not is dangerous? If they say red then they are communicating effectively, I know my submissives and their body language and will be able to tell if something is off but even still the...you are effectively saying the submissive has no responsibility for their own safety, anyone dom or sub, is partly responsible for their own safety that is everyone's responsibility whether you like it or not. Everyone is partly responsible for their own safety.
Th**** Posted July 11, 2025 3 hours ago, ManchesterDom98 said: Please could you explain how only going off wether they say red or not is dangerous? If they say red then they are communicating effectively, I know my submissives and their body language and will be able to tell if something is off but even still the...you are effectively saying the submissive has no responsibility for their own safety, anyone dom or sub, is partly responsible for their own safety that is everyone's responsibility whether you like it or not. Everyone is partly responsible for their own safety. We've gone off topic here for long enough. This really is a discussion for a different thread.
FETMOD-TF Posted July 11, 2025 This discussion has veered way off topic from the OP’s original questions. For this thread to remain open, we ask that you return to the OP's original questions which I have reposted below. If this thread continues to be derailed, the topic will be locked. Thank you to those who have stayed on topic. . On 7/10/2025 at 1:21 AM, temptaketame said: What’s the most exciting element of speaking to a femdom you’re highly attracted to? The attention? Lack there of? Trying to keep your eyes on hers? Or her feet even though you’re dying for a glimpse of her?
ge**** Posted July 11, 2025 7 hours ago, DommeDelight said: Crikey! I thought what a beautiful post this was and wanted to see what subs thoughts were. Hoping to see subs chatting between themselves about what they particularly liked and felt. But it’s turned into an argument!! What a missed opportunity for a beautiful discussion. The female Domme and male sub dynamic is very different to the male Dom and female sub. The nature, activities, relationship, having the woman in the Dominant role has an impact to. I’m not sure a male Dom can speak to the power balance in that dynamic. Whenever I’ve had a male Dom switching, they have really not understood how the ego is not part of it when it’s this way around, and haven’t been able to fully engage in the connection. It’s on a different level. It’s a different connection. But I would love to hear subs thoughts on what they like about making a connection with a Domme. It’s always good to know what is felt, wanted, matters etc. Thank you for bringing things back on track - sadly the nature of Internet forums (regardless of genre) is their ability to go wildly off piste when a contentious point is raised. . For me that connection is all important, without it my submission stays firmly locked away - it's about finding the ying to my yang - someone who truly understands me and can get into my head - find that and anything else flows naturally. . I had a recent experience at a club, that was high protocol based, was very much about serving her, with very little traditional "play" (amounted to some impact play and that was about it), but she knew exactly how to get into my head - she commented afterwards how blissful and relaxed I looked once I entered submissive mode, and that was down to the connection and chemistry between us and how she got into my head. . I'd take that kind of connection any time over simply submitting for the sake of it.
Si**** Posted July 11, 2025 being honest about what i want, and the chance someone being so kind as to bless me with it
Salacious67 Posted July 11, 2025 10 hours ago, DommeDelight said: Crikey! I thought what a beautiful post this was and wanted to see what subs thoughts were. Hoping to see subs chatting between themselves about what they particularly liked and felt. But it’s turned into an argument!! What a missed opportunity for a beautiful discussion. The female Domme and male sub dynamic is very different to the male Dom and female sub. The nature, activities, relationship, having the woman in the Dominant role has an impact to. I’m not sure a male Dom can speak to the power balance in that dynamic. Whenever I’ve had a male Dom switching, they have really not understood how the ego is not part of it when it’s this way around, and haven’t been able to fully engage in the connection. It’s on a different level. It’s a different connection. But I would love to hear subs thoughts on what they like about making a connection with a Domme. It’s always good to know what is felt, wanted, matters etc. I hope you don’t mind me coming in on this discussion, interesting post which seems to have raised some heated and open discussion, however going back to the question of the female/male Dommie/sub dynamic and speaking form my personal journey I would say most males come into the world of kink from a stereotypical and probably society based culture of male dominance. Now, I’m not saying a male lead Dom/sub dynamic is bad and this works for lots of people with good connections, respect ans agreed boundaries as for female lead dynamics too, but for me the journey wasn’t simply black and white, I needed to find myself. The idea of exploring switch appealed to me as I want to learn, explore and know what things felt like to me in terms of giving and receiving. Over the years and certainly more so in the last few years I leaned more into my sub side, which comes more easily to me and feels more comfortable as I’m learning this is my natural state., I’m happy to embrace my masculinity, but neither I’m a afraid to show my submissive side and embrace my feelings and sexuality. My job involves me giving lots of me to other’s in time, care, attention and energy which can be overwhelming and the the basis of giving over this control in a dynamic creates that feeling of being wanted, supported, cherished with the feeling of pressure being taken away. The feeling of balance to one’s own self as neither is the female lead dynamic a one way street as they need support too, otherwise burnout within the relationship will appear. The pressure to taken on any Dominant role within a dynamic requires the support of the submissive too, which is equally as important. I take my hat off to anyone who takes the Dominant role, especially in 24/7 circumstances as the pressure must be immense at times if it is one way lead without good support from a sub.
Recommended Posts