ar**** Posted July 25 27 minutes ago, SomethingKinky118 said: You're assuming she's the sub? The word "maybe" explores a possible scenario. I think she as a Domme would be less inclined to let the OP find out for himself. And instead convince/guide him into the roles she'd want him to play. . The fact that she's telling OP to go search on his own without pointers indicates to me that either she may not have much of an idea of what she's doing/looking for, or she's explicitly desiring him to draft his own rules for her.
Pinkpariscutie Posted July 25 No judgement, just tryna help. Also I said find out what she's into and what she had in mind 🤔. Sub/Dom who is which is all I was saying. So to narrow down the search 😜
Do**** Posted July 25 My first suggestion is do the Fet Dom/Sub test. It'll give you some foundation. My second suggestion is watch 50 Shades of Grey... you'll have to have an indebt talk with her about boundaries, turn pins and offs.
Em**** Posted July 25 34 minutes ago, Dottie2Hottie said: My first suggestion is do the Fet Dom/Sub test. It'll give you some foundation. My second suggestion is watch 50 Shades of Grey... you'll have to have an indebt talk with her about boundaries, turn pins and offs. Please don't watch 50 shades, it's not about BDSM or kink. It's written by someone who has absolutely no clue and thinks *** is kink. They're not the same thing at all. That movie/ book has done more damage to the kink scene than people realise.
Em**** Posted July 25 1 hour ago, arnhem961 said: Maybe she is telling you to read up (without her being an active participant in "getting you ready"), because she's used to being told what to do & her knowing this in advance because she "fed you the pointers" would destroy any surprise and excitement for her? It's not something you just dive in to, prodding your little member willy nilly on the off chance the other person likes something you do 🤦♂️
my**** Posted July 25 A lot of gate keepers in this thread. So buddy, my thought is to ask her what her needs are, is she a brat, prey, natural? Ask her for her favorite erotica or porn. Then see if you feel anything. I’ve ***d girls until veins bulged in my hands, I’ve taken a leather strap to a girl until she was tiger striped, but I get instantly turned off by Littles. We’re all different. Start from her perspective and see if you can see yourself doing those things. If not, you’re not compatible.
Pr**** Posted July 26 If anyone wants to be turned away from bdsm this is the thread. Yikes 😬 definitely don't watch 50 shades that's a horrible representation of the lifestyle. Explore with your partner and find activities you both enjoy. If you can't find something common then talk and think about opening your relationship to get your partner their needs. Communication is the number one aspect of any type of relationship especially a kinky one. Don't judge, don't shame, just listen ask questions and grow together. If this lifestyle isn't for you then you need to figure out a way to get your partner their needs even if that doesn't come from you. If you weren't getting what you needed you would be upset or wanting too right? Every aspect of a bdsm relationship is developed around trust and communication don't worry about stupid tests or some blockbuster movie to teach you what you can find by exploring. Plus even just exploring together can reignite some passion and open up doors for a stronger healthier relationship.
MasterTalathian47342 Posted July 26 Wow. Some of these answers. There are several websites you can do research on. Submissive guide is one that i suggest. Do a search for bdsm 101. You can find some good educational information and research. Also you can go on fetlife and look for local munch groups to find people local to you in the community. Definitely do research. The first thing though is to talk with her. Find out what her kinks and such are. Look up the definition of what she wants. Is it something you can do? Is it something you have an interest in? Start small and build up. Don't try to jump in fully. Explore and keep educating yourself. Communication will be key to this. Trust is important as well.
ey**** Posted July 26 12 hours ago, RagingInferno said: How was your comment helpful? Or necessary…. you realize you could scroll past it without tossing in your negative opinion. you're being played. carry on though.
do**** Posted July 26 13 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: Every now and then someone signs up with a blank profile and posts a question which doesn't make sense. Sometimes they even try the same question after periods of time, making even less sense. Like, you met her, dated, married and all this time didn't work on kink she knew was important to her - and she says it's important to her, but isn't giving any guidance - on even what to read up on And then you sign up and clearly having not done any reading, make a post. So on point my G. So many 🚩's. Just someone bored looking for conversation.
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