How do you express your needs irrespective of the role you assume?

[Gi****]

The most successful Dom/Sub relationship I have ever found was one where the Dom took the time to show their genuine interest in my wellbeing first. Not just sexually but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He took the time to listen to my fantasies and asked really good questions about what it meant for me to be a sub.... And Holy **** it was amazing when we turned it on. With the ground work that was already laid the way we could feed off each other's roles was spectacular. Sadly it wasn't long. We ran through our course in a few fast heavy months but the fact that we set such clear expectations in the beginning and knew what we could give each other made the parting much easier too. Which I think is an under-emphasized rule. You should understand what the goals are and be okay with parting amicably to find your next experience.

[ab****]

I will most definitely pass if I don't think I am a good match. Kink is so personal. I like to be in tune with my partners. Be honest with yourself and expect your partner to respect your boundaries and engage in your interests. A partner that ignores you and your needs is just after wish fulfillment.

[Ba****]

Just be forthright and honest.

[DarkArts1066]

Yesterday at 04:01 AM, Ghostedwolf said:

I still havent found my Domme or Mistress that isn't a scam. Has me even wondering if any really existed

If you aren’t having any luck finding the person who is right for you, then consider changing where you are looking for them - or change your search perameters.

I can assure you that there are plenty of geinuine Dommes and Mistresses out there. I know several of them personally, and they are good, decent people.

The ones you have already encountered, what is it about them that makes you believe they have been a scam ? -I’m genuinely curious about this……..?

[le****]

Yesterday at 07:32 AM, DarkArts1066 said:

If you aren’t having any luck finding the person who is right for you, then consider changing where you are looking for them - or change your search perameters.

I can assure you that there are plenty of geinuine Dommes and Mistresses out there. I know several of them personally, and they are good, decent people.

The ones you have already encountered, what is it about them that makes you believe they have been a scam ? -I’m genuinely curious about this……..?

I would say that by scam they mean wanting tributes or monetary gain for being a dom/mistress cause there is a ton of people on this app as well as other apps all the way down to tik tok trying to get your *** for nothing more than a robotic like online instruction with no guidance and definitely unable to ask questions or express concerns and honestly that's killing the kink community and pushing new comers right back out the door cause it did myself for a while but I just kept on trying. But yea play for pay is getting ridiculous imo

[Ly****]

I think that the question almost answers itself. We're talking about roleplay here. While you can live inside those roles, that isn't inherently how real life is. The easiest answer is to communicate immediately before anything happens. There is a very finite window in which to do so without breaking the fantasy of your respective roles, which is why communication is first and foremost. Otherwise, you can easily fall into a lopsided, abusive, or unfulfilled relationship. Especially in a d/s relationship.

[Deleted Member]

If you can’t find someone that works it’s probably because of communication.. I communicate and try to understand a sub. And give them exactly what they want. If they can’t tell me or don’t tell me or maybe don’t know then experimenting is needed and a good safe word.

[DarkArts1066]

23 hours ago, lexi_c said:

I would say that by scam they mean wanting tributes or monetary gain for being a dom/mistress cause there is a ton of people on this app as well as other apps all the way down to tik tok trying to get your *** for nothing more than a robotic like online instruction with no guidance and definitely unable to ask questions or express concerns and honestly that's killing the kink community and pushing new comers right back out the door cause it did myself for a while but I just kept on trying. But yea play for pay is getting ridiculous imo

I understand and agree with your point - to a point.
I don’t “do” online instruction.
I’m sure it works for some people, but I prefer to have that connection with someone in the room. You can read them better for a start.

I see nothing wrong however with a genuine Domme or Dom, charging for their time or costs incurred at the very least.

Most decent professional Dommes or Doms have spent a great deal of time learning their art. They’ve bought equipment, travelled to venues, taken flights, booked into hotels, ans have acquired knowledge as a result - which they then deliver to others -usually submissives, who are eager to learn -and perhaps serve.

It’s sometines hard to find the genuine ones though……. that I accept unequivocally.