Discussion before sex

[bu****]

Is it good to have a discussion before sex? Does it lose a thrill of it? To know what your partner is thinking before could be helpful😁😊😄

[Deleted Member]

I wanna know beforehand

[Si****]

I think it's takes away some of the anxiety.

[Deleted Member]

Nahhh talkins important

[Deleted Member]

Just play on the mind for a bit with a discussion. Not enough that it spoils the thrill but just enough to remain thoroughly curious. Also extra preparations are always fun ahead of time.

[me****]

Discussion before is extremely important, both parties(or how many individuals are involved) might not be on the same page. And when it comes to the bed it can mess up the mood or vibe. But it can also lose that thrill of "who knows what can happen" if you talk beforehand. But it can make it an opportunity for different types of fun, as an example. After we have talked about what we expect, I would tell them they can only say yes, no, faster, slower, and safe words. That way it can be spontaneous at the same time keeps the thrill. But that's me each to their own devices

[Deleted Member]

Talking is very important! Otherwise you could end up in a terrifying circumstance. Especially when it comes to establishing sexual safety (STIs are out here!!). But also, some people may have a completely different idea of what sex is than you do. They may convinced that doing something really wild and dangerous is sex while you’re seeking a connection and intimacy. Please get on the same page about those things. You don’t have to plan a road map but you need to know that this person respects you enough to be safe And honest about their views on sex before you get into the situation.

[fi****]

I think talking via chat before and establishing rules then

[ne****]

I think it helps to relax things and get more comfortable. Also like you stated it helps to know what your partner is thinking to make the experience better

[Fi****]

Communication in a sexual relationship be it vanilla or kink is extremely important.

There should always be time put aside to update one another about wants, expectations, and concerns.

If either party feels that there's something they need to communicate "during" sex they should.

If there's a healthy sexual vibe, resuming should not be a problem.

[Li****]

For me personally, having sex without discussion is my way of figuring out how we both enjoy sex, it's kinda like learning to talk, you keep on trying till you become good at it, and thats how I look at sex without prior discussion! learning physically works better for me than talking about it, but obviously, you should always talk about it if you feel that is right for you. x

[23****]

Depends on the discussion, i guess..
Is it needed.. or can it wait
Is it sex related,job related,familie related,or about you 2.
It could have different outcomes
But mostly talking is good if u want to know what your partner is thinking or what he/she wants or dislikes, sure you can talk about it
Especially before the deed..

[Fu****]

Depends on the people, if there are certain link based aspects involved discussion is necessary

[ds****]

Convo is good to have bc...what if they dont want you sexually...then that gets tricky and awkward 🙃

[da****]

As what a lot of these messages are saying it all does depend on how well you previously know the person
Personally I always like to have a chat before sex whether it be about boundaries just to reiterate or whether it be about something completely different just to help relax and set the mood

[Od****]

I feel as a Dom I wear many hats in a dynamic, and more often than not confidant is one of them. Sometimes a sub needs to vent before a release, sometime they need reassurance because shit went sideways that day, and sometimes they want to explore a soft limit they had put in place before. It's going to sound a bit cliche, but power comes with responsibility, and little is more intimate than baring your soul to a partner, and trusting they won't use that knowledge to harm you in the future.

Just my two cents.

[Ka****]

I personally find its really good! Especially if its something/someone new! Though if you know em well enough its not like, a hard requirement y'know?

[JackJonesHull]

I'd have to say yes. Communication is important at all times. It takes time to move to non verbal communication. If you don't talk first and build up an understanding of each other how will you ever get to just wordlessly going for it over a kitchen counter for breakfast, or something similar?

[sh****]

Communication is the master key to opening up each other's comfort zones & understanding one another's likes & dislikes

[al****]

I think if 2 people have the chemistry and that intense desire for one another magical things will occur without much effort or thought put into it at all with any relationship or dynamic communication and trust are the back bone of any relationship whether it's a friend a lover or lovers without these basic standards your destin to have complications limits are learned through experiences and personal preferences just because you didn't like or find please with something with one person doesn't mean you won't just love it from someone else I know this from experience so I don't know if that helps answer your question but I hope so just don't have it be an awkward talk that does kill the mood I guess lol

[Ma****]

All I'm thinking is how fast can I get them panties off her...lol

[Ma****]

Communication is essential so yes.

[Da****]

There is a big difference between talking and communicating. Talking yes in a way can kill the mood. Especially when it is only one sided. Communication involves more than just talking. Eye contact body language touch listening connecting emotions. Talking is only one layer. Communication is multi-layered. Yes discussion before and after is very important. Need to have that open communication with your partner will help both of you in your sexual aspect, but it should be ongoing. You both need to communicate your wants needs desires with each other. However in today's it is more about instant gratification. No communication. Just hook up and go. Communication=intimacy. That is what is missing in a lot of relationships. Intimacy. It is all about just one person doing all the talking and not listening to their partner. There is no connection when only one person is talking. The key is communication. Stop talking and start listening. As the old saying goes talk is cheap action is where it's at.

[FA****]

For me, it is just to understand the boundaries of one another? Anything else is just gravy.

[DarkArts1066]

As in “right before” sex ?

I think that would likely take the edge off.

However discussing limits, and what both parties feel is acceptable at some point is essential.

I am reminded of a friend of mine who was in a relationship with someone. They had a good sex life by all accounts.
He spoke to me one day, quite distraught because he thought he had ended the relationship “accidentally”.

She was giving him oral one day, and for some reason, and with no precedent or discussion beforehand, he decided to pull out ane finish himself off over her face.

Turned out that she absolutely HATES having cum on her face.

He was lucky. VERY lucky. They worked through it and are now married with a family…

And his actions were no accident.
I made that plain to him.

He had made a conscious decision without consulting her about it, or at least giving it proper thought - and knowing what her particular feeling were on that.

The lesson here is NEVER make assumptions that your actions are acceptable, without discussing them first.