Tasks and communication

[lo****]

I just need to let the steam out. I am bored and irritated with my dom.
He barely gives me any tasks. Recently he told me to send him naked pictures in the morning and in the evening for a week, kneeling position, with my hands above my head or on my back. Then he changed to rules to freestyle pictures.
Sure thing Sir. I was religious about it. The week is coming to an end. I ask him about any wishes, since it’s just 2 pictures left.
He texted me to do better, that my pictures are repetitive and not creative. That I was putting more energy in the beginning.
I already had a good photo taken, but I waited out the deadline. If he is so bored, why bother?
I voiced my concern, that his comment hurt me. He texted back that it was form of h*miliation. I let him know that it’s not my preffered form of h*miliation and it makes me close myself. He said “why are you irritated we are just playing”.
I sent him the picture, but I don’t want to continue.
How can I communicate in the right way that I put a lot of effort and it hurts when he seems bored? I need clear instructions as a sub so I know how to please him. It irritates me when he says “come up with something better”.
Picture added to my profile. Please be kind.
Cheers everyone.

[ey****]

this clearly isn't working for you.  You basically need to tell him this is not working and give ideas on what would work

but also that constant requests for tasks is emotional labour 

[Deleted Member]

Are you constant sub, or are you allowed to speak as equals at times? If allowed, then you need to re-establish the dynamic occasionally. Revisit green, yellow, and red, and make sure you both understand the dynamics.

[Deleted Member]

It seems you may be putting in more effort than he. In my opinion and experience, giving clear and concise instructions are mandatory as a Dom. If he wants you to "freestyle" as he so eloquently put it, whatever you choose to share should be taken with gratitude and respect. Not with criticism and judgment especially of that is not your preferred form of ***. I believe you fulfilled his orders, and if he was displeased with your photos (and I don't see how any Dom could be you are quite beautiful) , then that is his own fault for not doing his job. I would advise you say exactly what you just wrote. That you need clear instructions on how to please him and that his response was hurtful as well as upsetting. If he cannot take accountability for his part in this miscommunication then it may be time to find a new Dom. That's just my two cents though.

[di****]

I agree with eyemblacksheep you need to step out or he learns to communicate better

[Lu****]

Would you be able to ask for more defined tasks? More detailed? I do not want to assume anything but it sounds passive and lazy on their part while you're actively trying to please. Also, your pictures are lovely!

[Zi****]

Its very healthy to share your concerns. Talk to him and be patient as some doms do tend to be like this

[Ro****]

It sounds like he wants you to read his mind on what he wants. It also seems like there's a good possibility that he was excusing your hurt feeling with "oh, that was *** play."
If this is how it seems to you, tell him this is no longer working for you. There are plenty out there that can work with your preferences.
Another note: consider if it's verbal ***/ *** you are comfortable with or if it's more towards what's can be done to you.

[Do****]

You need a new proper Dom, sweetheart.
You did your job, and asking for more instructions shows that you are. Trust your heart. Your heart is speaking to us too... get out while you still have your desire and willingness to comply in a proper relationship. Best wishes, love. 🙏💜

[Ad****]

Many Woman take so many pictures and still dont know what actually looks good....good luck.

[Deleted Member]

What I’m hearing is that he’s a bit lackadaisical in his approach and you are exasperated in trying to match that. I personally would brat TF out if he pulled that shit with me. But yes, seems like communicating what you’re looking for out of this dynamic would be a good idea for starts. You can then make a decision on what you’re going to do next based on his response. That said, I hope you can find what works best for both of you and wish you well.

[Deleted Member]

Yeah that doesn't sound right. You did your task perfectly. You were given easy to understand direction. There are many that would have been happy with that. If he wanted something more he should have said so. Like... Wednesday go try on 3 different lingerie at the store and send pictures kneeling, cat pose and looking back over your left shoulder. Thursday send pictures of licking dripping ice cream from your finger tips. You did great

[Si****]

This isn’t a healthy dom/sub dynamic and there needs to be more communication on expectation and needs.

[lo****]

Thank you all lovely people for responses! I really needed some support and to be understood. I know we need to talk and I need to tell him what I need.

[lo****]

I am not able to respond to all DM, but I do appreciate the support!

[su****]

I agree with Mark.

[th****]

You need to have a very long conversation with him
He’s needs to be more mindful of how this is affecting you.
Remember you did a great job

[Deleted Member]

I would end it, but Im super quick to burn bridges with 0 fluffs given. It just sounds like your putting in more effort than he is, and hes brushing off your concerns, and neither of those sit right.

[os****]

I would recommend having a serious conversation with him, ideally in person. Make it clear from the start that, for the purposes of this talk, the dynamic is on pause. You should also be receiving regular aftercare, at least once a week.

That said, I do have concerns about his attitude. If he’s saying “we’re just playing” and not taking things seriously, that’s a red flag. In that case, I’d strongly consider whether it might be better to find a new Dom.

In these dynamics, you have to be careful, line between a healthy D/s relationship and *** can be thin. Remember, even as the Sub, you absolutely have the power to set boundaries and decide what’s acceptable. In fact, your role gives you more power than many people realize. A good Dom should always be aware of, and responsive to, your needs and wants.

Wish you luck you deserve a safe and fulfilling dynamic.

[Ma****]

There's some good comments here, and I'm pretty much in agreement with the consensus - he doesn't sound like he's putting any effort in, or appreciating what you did to please him.

However, I would offer a slightly different perspective on vague instructions - I tend to be very precise in what I say, but when I leave something open-ended, it's a deliberate choice, where a sub can choose how to fill in the gaps. Which may tell Me more about them, allow them to surprise Me, and of course I can follow that up with something more specific.

I might follow up with what I initially had in mind (but left vague), or the unprompted response might prompt another thought.

Deliberately vague instructions may just be left open to see how a sub fills in the blanks, or have a subtle plan behind them - but a week of nothing specific, with criticism rather than adjustment, shows he doesn't have the right idea.

[Fr****]

Yeah this sounds like you two need to have a conversation, take off the D/s mantle for a minute and get it out in the open from an equal footing, because you shouldn't be hurting like that or feeling this directionless.

Speaking as a domme myself, I want my girls to feel right about our D/s relationship and like their needs are being met while they're meeting mine. If that isn't happening, the contract needs clarification or termination. Not much else to do there unfortunately, especially after he diminished your concerns.

[my****]

I have been there. If you’re doing a picture task as part of your dynamic sometimes he wants to see you grow. To think about what you’re doing and do something really special. You seem to need more direction. There is nothing wrong with that, but it can cause compatibility issues. If this is your only task and he’s just making you perform on your own with no direction, it could also be picture seeking. I told a girl to impress me once and I got an elf costume that spawned an entire calendar shoot. It was a lot of fun for both of us. Thanksgiving was culturally insensitive but hot.

[De****]

Frankly? Say it exactly how you said it at the end here. Clear and honest, that's the best solution here. If a Dom and a sub can't communicate honestly and openly when it's needed then it's not going to be fulfilling for both parties.

[Im****]

This is immature advice, that you should only take at your own risk, but when I get bored I start bratting. 😅

[wa****]

I believe the problem is he left too much responsibility on you. He needs to be specific with his demands. Ask him for specificity in what he wants, Just pics inside the house, outside, public, lingerie etc. I want you to send me pics of your breasts, in different stores, Walmart, tj Maxx, Victoria Secret, and finally a full nude in a theater booth in Amazing adultstore watching a porn movie. Push your limits a bit.