Question for the men about your female FWB

[du****]

Could be weeks months or forever really

[Mu****]

2 hours ago, justadude26 said:

As long as you're fucking and still friends, you're fwb. Simple.

I agree

[Mu****]

FWB can be A sexual, financial help like help with the bills things like that. The agreement between consenting adults, just like a contract. There could be an emotional attachment, yes it could last forever. What changes is if one chooses this to go elsewhere to find another friend with benefits and the other one gets jealous. That's my opinion, I could be whatever the two adults wanted to be. And you're definitely not ignorant for asking a question.

[Am****]

Wow! That's a lot of different opinions and experiences about different types of what a FWB is, how long and what the outcome is or was. I can't reply to that many people, but thank you for your comments. Interesting to read the different thoughts or feelings.

What would you say the difference between a situationship and a FWB is?

I'm trying to work out what I had to avoid it in future!

I met a guy through Tinder. At the beginning, we lived close to each other. It started as a couple of coffee dates, then quickly became regular sex.
Then I moved away after two years and he would be do a six hour journey, to see me and go back again.
We would always have incredible sex, I'd wear new lingerie as a surprise, chat after, fall asleep holding hands and being really close.
He would bring his work clothes to change into on the morning and leave very early to get to work.
Then we would chat most days via WhatsApp and eventually I would order and wrap his Christmas gifts for him. Pick him up the occasional little funny gift. Added him to my Netflix and Amazon accounts.

His mum met me twice, but only a quick hello if I was at his and his mum popped in and back out (she lived in his place). He worked 7 days a week for the government in intelligence and had his own brigade in the army. He was very high ranking.

His mum bought me a Christmas gift, which I refused to take from him. I still have no idea what it was. But I never did anything for him or her to receive anything back. I just enjoy helping people. I bought him an expensive sweater and he was shocked because he had no idea that I had. I hid it I'm the bags of gifts I wrapped for him. He sent me a picture of himself wearing it to work one day.

After another three years, I ended it because he wanted to see me more but I could feel myself getting feelings. And although we were only seeing each other and no one else, I felt like continuing was only hurting myself.

We never gave it a title but we did not want the other seeing anyone else.
I was very clear about the fact that I don't sleep with my friends.

He felt, maybe emotionally immature, or being in the army made him hardened or unable to express himself and never spoke about his feelings towards me.

When I ended it he argued that he wouldn't tell me how he felt and seemed to get his back up and be angry that I ended it.

Because I don't have sex with my friends, what was that? Why did it last 5 years? And why do we both “accidentally” message each other and delete the message and say sorry, then occasionally share a few words!

This was his last message today after I text him by accident, deleted it and just wrote “sorry”,

“If you want to text just text”

Apologies for the long story everyone..I just want to know what that was?

[mi****]

Excellent question

[Gh****]

Stays a fwb. Why don't you message?

[bi****]

After two months it’s more than the

[Be****]

Depends on the dynamics of the fwb. That can vary from person to person. So in your case need more contex data.

[Kymoeguy]

Me personally, I have never had FWB, so I can't help. I seem to need some connection. Call me what you want, I am what I am.

[Ne****]

A beautiful experience., and we all have out reasons for what we do. I do not understand the why. It is ok.
It is not my why to understand. I find myself sad and my eyes are leaking. Humans. We are such odd creatures.

[Ne****]

I cannot do FWB. I do not have sex with my friends. Nor do I understand casual sex. There is nothing casual about giving a piece of my soul to another human.

[Ne****]

Because you truly loved him, loved how he made you feel, your carefully chosen words oozed love

[in****]

I feel it comes down to communication. And checking in with the fwb. Then base on that can determine the length of the fwb or the end of that too getting just friends or deciding you want to try to have a relationship.

[ma****]

Mine started out when my best friend was no longer able to care for his sub and being chosen by her I was entrusted with the key to her collar After 8 years of countless days of finding such wonderment in watching her extreme joy of many different ways of being bound and ***d and teased, my admiration has grown for her with each meeting and from total respect and said admiration. Due to her situation we can never be fully together and our meetings are often ***fully few but while she continues to be the true strength that reminds us of what reality dictates I know inside Theres a true satisfaction from what I offer her beyond the wealth to which she is privy. for why else would she so eagerly return so many times to indulge in her play. Do I love her? yes I’ve ( semi jokingly) offered to sell my substantial holdings and run away together and while it’s minscule to her arranged world i know a large part of her is tempted because I know her true feelings for us. Odd how it came to be and odd how it’s grown to something that cannot be. But she surely a special lady.

[sw****]

I think all FWBs are destined to end when one falls in love with somebody else or even better with each other. Perhaps he feels same but neither of you will say because you don’t want risk the dynamic. Men’s brains are weird but women’s intuition is awesome - trust your gut and if you think there is a chance then raise it. But either way once you start having strong feelings the FWB dynamic is no longer just FWB and should be talked about. For you and for him. He either feels it too or he should know if you may get hurt. Good luck .

[bi****]

To me fwb is being actual friends. Going out to do things together. Concerts, movies, dinner. Everything id do with my friends with sex as an added bonus. Thats what I thought anyway but my last fwb said she wanted fwb but would only wanna fuck and that's it.

[Pu****]

For me a FWB situation is doing sexual things with someone I also consider a friend...and the point for me is to enjoy the sexual things with someone I can also spend time with outside of being sexual....there's no need to see if there's something more cause the relationship is already what it's suppose to be...A FWb relationship can last as long as you want it to....I can be FWB for years and keep it like that...and it's not that I feel nothing but mutual gain...it just doesn't have to be "romantic".......If you feel things have changed for you then you should definitely address it but also be prepared to move on if you have to

[vo****]

FWB has its place.
It’s like renting a home. Sometimes it really helpful but for me, it’s not a long term goal. The dream is somewhere permanently mine. Sure there is more upkeep and maintenance and effort to keep it running and protect the investment… but that is fun too.
I might be biased though. I ended all FWB recently so this question struck a chord with me. The truth is you know after a few hook ups if it’s special or just fun.

Fun is great. For a bit.

I’m holding out for special.

[Be****]

I had a FWB for five years

[Be****]

I have checked comments and seen more context data.
If a man travels 6 hours just to see someone and brings his work clothes to see that person more, this is more than "benefit" situation.
In your case he also introduced his relatives to dynamic which means he was serious.

I think you sort of corrupted that guy he will probably never do such things for someone else. Or he will be extremely skeptical . Probably, he will join the silent single man club. And you probably missed your best shot.

[Deleted Member]

we don't, they ain't GF or wife material. that's why they in the friend zone.

[Deleted Member]

I had a FWB arrangement with an ex girlfriend. It wasn’t going to work as a relationship but it worked as FWB for about 9 months before she met someone for the long term. Still friends now just without the benefits.

[Deleted Member]

35 minutes ago, coffeewithsugar said:

I had a FWB arrangement with an ex girlfriend. It wasn’t going to work as a relationship but it worked as FWB for about 9 months before she met someone for the long term. Still friends now just without the benefits.

you were the runner up bro. she didn't want a relationship.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, RoosterTheCowboy said:

you were the runner up bro. she didn't want a relationship.

Nice try but so wrong!

[Bi****]

I mean it’s the usual, it’s good right now but hopefully it doesn’t at the usual way where she catches feelings. I usually keep them around until I’m it’s not exciting anymore or until they move on from me. In the end we still are friends but the distance does grow