Mental Relaxation Techniques

[ta****]

My partner says sometimes she has a hard time “getting out of her head” even while we are being intimate. Which puts a strain on her ability to focus on the moment and the passion.

What’s a few techniques I can use to help her clear her mind?

[Deleted Member]

I have the same problem. I found blindfolds help me turn off my mind and be in the moment

[Strait8jacket]

Journaling. Writing down and understanding what’s going on in her head. Meditating, taking five minutes, closing your eyes and focusing on what’s going on in your head, and deep breathes helps you calm down your body.

[DeviantInside]

So… there are at least a couple of different directions here. You might like to focus on some of her erotic triggers (and having a conversation as to what they are). Or you may want to focus on activating the parasympathetic nervous system, things like humming, havening, breathing techniques, so she feels safe and secure. There’s a lot of missing context here.

[Fu****]

Honestly, the space you have where this is happening needs to be changed around. Make it look as different as possible. Going to a hotel for a date also works. Get out of the space associated with whatever is in her head. I had the same issue. Good luck bro.

[Ph****]

Talk her about it. When she stops talking stop kissing her. Let her open up about everything, listen and kiss her. Play in her hair. She will soon forget everything.

[fe****]

Take a shower, was her hair and body for her. Have her talk about what she's thinking if she wants to talk, let her cry if she needs to. Also, have her invision that the soap and water are washing away all the negativity, stress, depression, and whatever else is going on. The cleanliness is bringing positivity and happiness back into her while the rest is washed down the drain. I hope this helps her like it does me. Also, it has to be a shower. Soaking in the tub is great relief for the physical ***s, but terrible for mental as it leaves you to stew in the negativity. You can also find shower tablets that work great if she likes aroma therapy. I found mine with the Epsom salts and other bath products.

[Da****]

Replace cerebral with sensory stimulation or sensory deprivation. If for whatever rare causes it doesn't work, switch to vagus nerve stimulation. You'll find a lot of high quality free YouTube content in relation to vagus nerve stimulation.

[Sa****]

I’m gonna look it up right now so I’ll brb

[Paddy1980]

Try being spontaneous, next time she’s taking a bath and without thinking jump in with your clothes on and her mind will be on what you’re doing. Trying new things always helps, honestly tho being spontaneous is a must :) good luck and I hope everything works out for you :) ♥️

[Sa****]

Ty I hope it works out for you too

[ki****]

Have her journal dump. Give her a journal and free write all her problems, thoughts, otherwise.
.
Music is another great idea.
.
A routine to signal to her brain - this is time to relax. I think of my writing. When I get ready to write, I will fill my water glass, and set it where I'll write. Get my laptop out, set everything up, even get music set up if I need to. That same routine (even if the steps are switched up) will tell my brain time to focus here. And it 'preps' me to enter into that space. So something like that. It can be 5 minutes, or 15. Sometimes I even add in a few deep breaths and mentally focus on draining out thoughts as I slide my hand down my face. I know it sounds weird, but I'm telling my brain to focus and drain itself, like a curtain pulling over the stage for each scene? Lol 🙈 But yeah, that. Lightly running hand down my face after a few deep breaths, and just telling my brain "were focusing."

[Pa****]

Yeah that’s tough and overwhelming thoughts can be super restrictive on being intimate, even enough to cause men to lose the ability to hold an erection. I think first understanding if there is any specific triggers during sex that could be eliminated. I also think focusing on what senses that are most comforting for her and utilize those, if it’s scents or physical sensations or sounds. Definitely breathing techniques, but also finding the sensations that best make her feel safe and returning to those.

[In****]

If kissing her doesn’t work, a good ice breaker to relax is token a bit. 🍁

[Da****]

Take a break from everything. Put your cell phone away. Have a lock box where you put your cellphones. Both of them. Couple spend more time on their cell phones that actually being in the room with their partners. I have adopted this policy in my house. No cellphones before bed or before spending time together. It will clear your head and your soul. Believe me it works.

[theSir_ObservingU]

Ask her to focus on breathing. Even during passion. Ask her to breathe down to her pussy. Out side of the passion. You can train her to pump her pussy. ( breath in- squeeze your pussy. Breath out - release her pussy). Get her to do that daily. ( start with 10 breaths twice a day and build up to 20 or more ) Then during passion she will start to automatically focus on her pussy when you ask her to breath. As well as increasing your pleasure. Breathing after all is the most inportant thing in life.

[de****]

Find a woman without ADHD. It's exhausting

[Jes844]

Thats true

[Bi****]

7 hours ago, feral_pet said:

Take a shower, was her hair and body for her. Have her talk about what she's thinking if she wants to talk, let her cry if she needs to. Also, have her invision that the soap and water are washing away all the negativity, stress, depression, and whatever else is going on. The cleanliness is bringing positivity and happiness back into her while the rest is washed down the drain. I hope this helps her like it does me. Also, it has to be a shower. Soaking in the tub is great relief for the physical ***s, but terrible for mental as it leaves you to stew in the negativity. You can also find shower tablets that work great if she likes aroma therapy. I found mine with the Epsom salts and other bath products.

Great idea.

[Co****]

Relaxing is key

[PaulNico]

Well this will be a lil akward cuz its not for everybody but if you have a strong will and abstinence that lil powder works in wonders👃🤣 Our personal preference tho🙈

[Deleted Member]

2 exercise thats quick which I've learned going to a professional credited practice is
1)cross your arms and alternate tapping on your opposite shoulders for like minimum 30 seconds (butterfly hug) look it up
2) use the pointing 👉 finger from each hand and alternate tapping on the center of your forehead for minimum seconds (emotional freedom technique/grounding)
Its a sensory thing which reroutes the electrical/energy currents to your brain and helps to be focus /centered in the present (bilateral stimulation)
They may seem corny & stupid but it works, even with frustration, anxiety, triggers, and so on. Can be done at anytime and anywhere without allot of effort immediately

[scientistxSaturday]

There's a yoga method where you huddle together with a point of physical contact, both set an intention aloud, then, focusing on it, you look into each others eyes and sync your breathing until your hearts are beating in sync, you can use the touch to detect heart sync.

[scientistxSaturday]

8 minutes ago, scientistxSaturday said:

There's a yoga method where you huddle together with a point of physical contact, both set an intention aloud, then, focusing on it, you look into each others eyes and sync your breathing until your hearts are beating in sync, you can use the touch to detect heart sync.

There's also a good chance that some of her physical needs arent met, water, pills, cold, bathroom, scared to address a conflict thats on her mind. in my personal experience, most women need at least a little snack when they are "not hungry" in order to be able to focus. many people aren't conscious of the exact need, just discomfort, so that's why checking through the list with them helps. Or in some cases, just physically giving some water and food without asking if they need some, because most of us are a little low on water and calories during none-mealtimes and dont even actually remember what it feels like to be satiated without being "full"

[Ro****]

One thing to consider might be ADHD. It's a common symptom of that to lose attention in the middle of sex. A lot of NDs end up in kink circles because of the need for a strong stimulus to maintain focus. Even then I often still lose focus sometimes.