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Safewords & Scenes


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How do you pick a safeword? Do you use different ones depending on the scene or partner? Let’s talk about safety tools that work for you.

1 minute ago, Bondsw said:
By an informal conversation

Literally this simple.

Then as a dom, make sure you write down the words and memorise them. I'll set up a universal word for all actions that acts as a kill switch.

PowerDDLG
Daddy and I have ours built into our contract. 2 words, one for slow down/lighten up, the other for full stop. Guess there’s also a third, if I’m unable to speak, we have a signal. Simple conversation and agreement to meanings.
Red light green light and yellow works good. Personally best to use uncommon one like giraffe. That means stop and no miscommunication. If you use common it can be misunderstood. Like stop is a turn on for some people
Appreciate ya’ll, my original question was meant to provoke funny answers. The moderators wrote this. Lol
Red, Green, and Yellow are pretty standard however you need something in place in case speaking is not possible because of some activities like gagging...I recommend a dog training clicker, 1 for click for green, 2 for yellow, 3 or more for Red.

Communication before play, Contracts are wonderful tools as well.
Just a written agreement that spells out everything in your dynamic that you are comfortable with. You can cover your limits you can cover safety measures as far as triggers and aftercare preferences go. I like them because it gives you a reference document so you don't have to try to remember everything eventually you will though remember everything but that doesn't mean you have to stop using the contract because contracts can be altered as things change in your dynamic. Also there's something kind of sexy about having the contract laid out before a scene begins visible and it's like a nice little nod that hey I respect you and I'm going to take care of you according to what we have agreed upon and here's the document that I will be abiding by.
Most people will be familiar with the traffic light system, some dungeons will have it as part of their rules. If you do use it make sure you talk about what yellow means. Does it mean hold steady, or does it mean check in for example. For the most part when I play while safe words are in place I will also respond to normal phrases (higher, lower, that's getting hot, etc) because my play tends to be electro or fire and not role play.

I often feel a lot with safewords is an unnecessary distraction that many overthink

"No", "Stop", "Red", "I don't like this", "Can we not" so on are all valid safewords

when you get into stuff like Pineapple, Rhubarb Crumble, 42, etc it's only when "No", "Stop" - *crying* etc is already agreed as not being an end or check in point 

I use “meatloaf”, as I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that. lol 😂
57 minutes ago, Midnight_Kiss said:
I use “meatloaf”, as I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that. lol 😂

That's horrible, get out lol

27 minutes ago, hiramcouple said:

That's horrible, get out lol

Haha, it’s fun. I love it actually and I love when the man gets the reference too. If I can’t have fun with the man, than he’s not the one anyways.

5 hours ago, Midnight_Kiss said:

Haha, it’s fun. I love it actually and I love when the man gets the reference too. If I can’t have fun with the man, than he’s not the one anyways.

Why are the fun ones always so far away?? Lol

I prefer keeping things simple. GREEN-go, YELLOW-caution, RED-stop!
  • 4 weeks later...
dominadoradacapital

i usually use fruits names like watermelon or pineapple

 

  • 2 weeks later...
I'll use your name because I usually call you Sir or Master but if I use your name then something is wrong
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