If recognize someone from here or another naughty site how would you approach them?

[Lo****]

She could be talking to you for any number of work related reasons, you can't be sure, but you can be sure that mentioning the kink stuff will be awkward and random, also as a lot of people said, if she blocked or deleted the account without giving you another means of communication that alone already is answer enough

[ey****]

On 9/6/2025 at 4:38 PM, conative312 said:

I have chatted with a girl for a long time on another kinky website, suddenly she deactivated her account and never heard from her again. Now I have recognized her at her place of work I visit almost daily. We have chatted and flirted a bit and I feel like I should tell her I know her from such site and we used to chat often. But I also don't want to embarrass her or something.
What do you all think?

there's still a few bits of context missing - but here's some thoughts

There's a lot of mixed advice on this thread - and you ultimately know more context than anyone else here.  But that the conversation ended elsewhere, as far as you should be concerned was a line in the sand.  

If you do decide to bring it up then (a) this should be sooner rather than later (b) any position or discussion has to have an easy out for her, she cannot be trapped in conversation by any means

If you think raising it will cause embarassment then that is a good reason not to raise it 

[Lo****]

I mean, i see 14 people saying he shouldn't mention it and like 3 people saying maybe, even more important, if you needed to make this post it means you yourself aren't sure if it's a good idea.

[ey****]

12 minutes ago, Lorenzo23 said:

even more important, if you needed to make this post it means you yourself aren't sure if it's a good idea.

I think that's very valid as well. 

[Da****]

I have seen both sides of the coin here. I am in the camp of don't bring it up at her work place. If anything ask her on a social friendly outing. If you and a group of friends go and do something invite her along. Safety in numbers. That way she won't feel pressured to stay. Drive your own cars or whatever. Don't bring it up then. See where the vibe is going. Exchange numbers, and If she is interested then take the next step and ask her if she is interested in getting something to eat. Again meet somewhere seperatly. Take it slow. Step by step. Remember her safety is the utmost importance. Take your time let it build naturally. Do not *** it. That is how I would handle it

[Deleted Member]

Just walk away man. If no meet was discussed in the app just go home.

[co****]

6 minutes ago, CloudedJayy said:

Just walk away man. If no meet was discussed in the app just go home.

We did discuss meeting up, just never found the time as she was living 50 miles away and I was working a ridiculous amount. Neither of us wanted to exchange numbers before we met in person. Then weeks later her profile was deactivated. Now she has moved back here "where she is originally from" I do believe she is interested in me because there is no need for her to have conversations with me. I walk in to the lobby I fill out the forms for deliveries needed for my work and submit them to her. I just dont think she remembers me.

[Ha****]

I would probably check her temperature by asking her out, having in person or phone conversations.. But I wouldn’t lead with the idea “I know her from a dating site.” at work… Keep that shit completely separate lmao.

IF we vibe in person then I’d splash some kink questions in… You never know she might have a twin *** or a doppelgänger 😂. Better safe than sorry.

[co****]

7 minutes ago, HandsumStrangr3000 said:

I would probably check her temperature by asking her out, having in person or phone conversations.. But I wouldn’t lead with the idea “I know her from a dating site.” at work… Keep that shit completely separate lmao.

IF we vibe in person then I’d splash some kink questions in… You never know she might have a twin *** or a doppelgänger 😂. Better safe than sorry.

That's exactly what I was thinking

[Do****]

4 hours ago, SweetNSourPatchBrat said:

She deactivated for a reason. If she wanted you to know her she would have given you her contact number before doing so. She is not interested in you and approaching her at her job will most likely lead to management asking you to leave or them calling the police.

It depends on his approach, but that is a possibility. It would be a worst case scenario though. And that’s only If she has some deep seeded personal reason for being scared enough to call the police or if he acts weird or won’t take no for an answer.

If that’s the whole story, he cannot know her reason for deactivating until he asks her. Why assume she’s going to be scared and freaked out? Furthermore, any number of things could’ve happened between now and then as well.
@SweetNSourBrat - the only reason I’m asking you is because you commented on the post - I’m genuinely curious if you think yours is the only likely scenario and he shouldn’t bother asking?

I learned a long time ago that I don’t know what is in a woman’s head most of the time. So I like to ask because most of the time women want to tell you what they think and how they feel, and if you listen, you will learn something valuable

[Do****]

5 hours ago, SweetNSourPatchBrat said:

She deactivated for a reason. If she wanted you to know her she would have given you her contact number before doing so. She is not interested in you and approaching her at her job will most likely lead to management asking you to leave or them calling the police.

Do you really think that that is the most likely scenario? Or that nothing in her life could’ve changed between then and now in his favor.
As long as he is respectful and takes no for an answer, and she does not have a deep seated reason for calling them, I see no reason anyone would need to get involved.

[co****]

6 minutes ago, DomChadsYourDad said:

It depends on his approach, but that is a possibility. It would be a worst case scenario though. And that’s only If she has some deep seeded personal reason for being scared enough to call the police or if he acts weird or won’t take no for an answer.

If that’s the whole story, he cannot know her reason for deactivating until he asks her. Why assume she’s going to be scared and freaked out? Furthermore, any number of things could’ve happened between now and then as well.
@SweetNSourBrat - the only reason I’m asking you is because you commented on the post - I’m genuinely curious if you think yours is the only likely scenario and he shouldn’t bother asking?

I learned a long time ago that I don’t know what is in a woman’s head most of the time. So I like to ask because most of the time women want to tell you what they think and how they feel, and if you listen, you will learn something valuable

I highly doubt that is the case, she doesn't have to have a conversation with me if she doesn't to, but she does every time. See my previous comments and responses for more info

[De****]

I honestly wouldn't mention it until like the 2nd or 3rd date, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

[Lo****]

Any number of work reason she could have for talking to you, also as said it could just be someone really similar, it is extremely awkward to do that at work specially if you will need to keep going there and *** her to see you weekly after asking her that, it ***s her to say something to someone in charge with would not look good on you, or worse for her if she gets extremely uncomfortable, leave her job, i see it as extremely childish that you are willing to risk her job for your own possible benefit, why would you even mention it? It's not magically going to make her like you more, just keep going as normal and if she really seems to like you maybe invite her to coffee but if she says no take the no and walk away.

[ey****]

So I think that, tying in with what I was saying about context

when people keep quizzing on one thing or another you provide further context and some of this tells a different story

I aint gonna say "just do what you want" but you can asses the context - given your familarity, is it appropriate that one day after you leave you just say "I enjoy chatting with you - would you like to chat more when neither of us is at work" and that is a safe approach.

But also consider one reason some people delete apps is because they meet someone and so are no longer looking.

 

[LadyV]

19 hours ago, conative312 said:

Wow! I never expected accusations of me being a stalker or creep by asking some advice. Lots of very judgemental people here. I am asking advice out of respect to her. I have not mentioned anything out of respect for her. I see her almost daily because she started a job at this distribution company I have to visit with my work. When she first started I thought she looked familiar but didn't really pay too much attention. Because no contact is really necessary I go in sign some forms for receiving and can leave. After a few times of coming in SHE is the one who started engaging in conversation asking about me. After we started regular conversations is when I made the connection I know her.

For christsake man, no one is accusing you of being a creep or a stalker. 

 

We're trying to WARN YOU away from engaging in behavior that will look creepy and will look like stalking in the eyes of MOST women!

 

We're trying to help you by giving you the exact advice YOU asked for! Now who you gonna listen to? All the men saying "it's not creepy" (when men, historically and statistically, are extremely bad judges of when they are or are not being creepy in the eyes of women), or are you going to listen to the majority of women here telling you, "abort mission, that's going to badly creep her out, it won't end well, go find someone else!"?

 

We're trying to save you from a bad move that will make you look real bad and make that poor woman feel genuinely threatened. We KNOW because most of us have had these exact experiences in real life. We know what happened. We know how most of us will see it. We lived how it ended. It wasn't fun for anyone. 

 

If you want to take a genuine warning as a personal attack, fine. Full steam ahead to hitting on a woman at her work cause of her deactivated (or blocked) fetish account. Go on, do whatever you wanted to do anyways, regardless of how it affects her. M** always do. 🙄

[Si****]

19 hours ago, conative312 said:

She does talk to me, see my previous comment

As an employee, communicating to a patron of said establishment. That is it, that is the extent of her communication.

[ca****]

Are you - do you - can you be 100% sure that it is the same person.........  just throwing that angle to it!!!!

[sm****]

Moral and scene etiquette says never bring the subject up with them, especially within any context in a rl work environment.   She's deleted this account for a reason and not for someone to pursue them, no matter how valid theyvthink it is.  Personally I would call out anyone that can possibly put my vanilla, work and social life in danger.   The vast majority of people in the kink community keep it private and for damn good reasons.  All I see from what I can see is "your" needs and wanting to meet because you talked "online" on a kink site.   Please see it from their prospective,  they deleted all associations with that site for her own reasons, and someone suddenly approaching them just raises major red flags.   Use it as a learning experience that people have lives outside of the online kink community and move on, it can be a very transient world.

[Ha****]

4 hours ago, LadyV said:

For christsake man, no one is accusing you of being a creep or a stalker. 

 

We're trying to WARN YOU away from engaging in behavior that will look creepy and will look like stalking in the eyes of MOST women!

 

We're trying to help you by giving you the exact advice YOU asked for! Now who you gonna listen to? All the men saying "it's not creepy" (when men, historically and statistically, are extremely bad judges of when they are or are not being creepy in the eyes of women), or are you going to listen to the majority of women here telling you, "abort mission, that's going to badly creep her out, it won't end well, go find someone else!"?

 

We're trying to save you from a bad move that will make you look real bad and make that poor woman feel genuinely threatened. We KNOW because most of us have had these exact experiences in real life. We know what happened. We know how most of us will see it. We lived how it ended. It wasn't fun for anyone. 

 

If you want to take a genuine warning as a personal attack, fine. Full steam ahead to hitting on a woman at her work cause of her deactivated (or blocked) fetish account. Go on, do whatever you wanted to do anyways, regardless of how it affects her. M** always do. 🙄

Don’t waste logic on this post anymore… it’s clear their mind is made up.

[co****]

Update: So I saw her this morning and as we were chatting she asked if I was going to this show on Thursday night "a band we both like" it was the first I heard of it but yeah I would like to, so I asked her if she would like to go with me. She said "Yes it's about time you finally asked me out"
So there you go, still not sure if I will ever mention we have chatted on another site or not. Maybe if the time feels right.

[co****]

Oh and from the start I would have never mentioned it to her at her place of work.

[ey****]

that sounds like a wonderful coincidence.   

hope it goes well and you check in with how it goes.

[Da****]

7 hours ago, conative312 said:

Update: So I saw her this morning and as we were chatting she asked if I was going to this show on Thursday night "a band we both like" it was the first I heard of it but yeah I would like to, so I asked her if she would like to go with me. She said "Yes it's about time you finally asked me out"
So there you go, still not sure if I will ever mention we have chatted on another site or not. Maybe if the time feels right.

Thank you for the update. I would caution, don't bring up any sites. Keep it social cordial. It is a social gathering. Step by step..

[Rh****]

You don't