I’m a switch but I’m struggling to sub, help

[Deleted Member]

I’m a switch and majority of my sex life I’ve always been a dom but I’m super into the idea of submitting to people especially women so I’ve been exploring that recently, however I find it so hard to take it seriously. 😭 My immersion always gets broken over stupid little things that don’t really matter. This causes me not take them seriously so I stop being into what the person is doing.
I spend half the time thinking in my head that I could do it better then them. I just keep getting disappointed by their skill level.

At first I thought it was just the dom being bad at their job but it’s happened every single time I’ve tried to sub so I think I might be the problem. Am I the problem? If I am does anyone know anyway I could get over myself lol.

[Da****]

You arent the problem 😌 I have tried switching and it always feels a little goofy when the roles are reversed. I'll be honest there have been times where i had to hold back laughter. Take it slow, let them do what feels goods for the both of you and focus on those smaller things

[Ms****]

Im the opposite as a switch, I feel silly being a dom 😆 even though I love it. Im only 5'2", so when these big men submit, it just makes me giggle at the idea of it.

[Ka****]

It really depends on your perspective.
Yes, the problem might be you—but only because it seems like you’re forcing something that doesn’t truly fit you.

BDSM is about communication and exploration, about getting to know your limits. Liking the idea of submission is very different from actually being a submissive person. Maybe you have a kink for being dominated, but submission isn’t about pretending, holding back your laughter out of “respect,” or doubting whether your Dom is good enough. If you feel that way, it usually means you’re trying to be something you’re not.

If what you’re looking for is just a sexual session where you can play at being submissive, you might want to find a Dom who’s comfortable with bratty subs.

Calling yourself a “Dom” or a “sub” is one thing—but truly being one, beyond the bedroom, is something completely different.

Good luck!

[Ro****]

So it took time for me to find this out but I’m more of a natural sub. For me being sub isn’t just about the fun in the bedroom but things outside the bedroom as well. I’m definitely still that “manly man, the protector” and all the other macho man ideas when need be but with my dom im the biggest baby ever. I’ve always been a people pleaser. I think of what they want and need before myself. Depending on who your partner or partners are it honestly can be kinda easy. If you have the confidence to just let go of everything and put their needs and pleasures first then the dom will actually do the same. Unless it’s like one of those hard core dominatrix situations, I can’t speak on that behalf. I’m probably word vomiting at this point but short story “put the doms needs and pleasures first and they will do the same for you”. I hope this helps

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, RobbieRuse said:

So it took time for me to find this out but I’m more of a natural sub. For me being sub isn’t just about the fun in the bedroom but things outside the bedroom as well. I’m definitely still that “manly man, the protector” and all the other macho man ideas when need be but with my dom im the biggest baby ever. I’ve always been a people pleaser. I think of what they want and need before myself. Depending on who your partner or partners are it honestly can be kinda easy. If you have the confidence to just let go of everything and put their needs and pleasures first then the dom will actually do the same. Unless it’s like one of those hard core dominatrix situations, I can’t speak on that behalf. I’m probably word vomiting at this point but short story “put the doms needs and pleasures first and they will do the same for you”. I hope this helps

Yeah I feel being a sub comes more natural to me too. I’ve always been a service switch and I’ve always tried my best to put the person who I’m with needs first. That’s why I’m kinda confused why I’m struggling to now because it’s always come natural to me. I think you’re right about the letting go thing, I’ll try to get myself to do that

[Ro****]

1 hour ago, cowboy1800 said:

Yeah I feel being a sub comes more natural to me too. I’ve always been a service switch and I’ve always tried my best to put the person who I’m with needs first. That’s why I’m kinda confused why I’m struggling to now because it’s always come natural to me. I think you’re right about the letting go thing, I’ll try to get myself to do that

If at any point you need someone to talk about it let me know. I’d love to help anyway I can or give words of advice or encouragement

[Li****]

A good top isn't going to leave you floundering in your head but pull you directly into theirs.. They will use whatever means necessary to *** you to take them seriously.. Find someone like that and you'll have your answer

[Deleted Member]

30 minutes ago, RobbieRuse said:

If at any point you need someone to talk about it let me know. I’d love to help anyway I can or give words of advice or encouragement

Thanks bro 💪💪

[li****]

You're probably not a natural sub. You might have some interest in being a bottom, but that's not the same.

[Sp****]

Tell the one You're With that tell him how what you're thinking beforehand and tell him that you want to be disciplined for thinking that way. And I think it would have to come from at least a couple times encountering with each other I think it'd be pretty hard to do on the first meeting unless it was a professional that's just my thought

[SayMaam]

You're either submissive or you're dominant. There is no "switch." If you're struggling to submit, it's because you're not submissive . People who called themselves "switch " are pretending. They are pretending to be dominant, or you're pretending to be submissive. Which one are you ?

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, SayMaam said:

You're either submissive or you're dominant. There is no "switch." If you're struggling to submit, it's because you're not submissive . People who called themselves "switch " are pretending. They are pretending to be dominant, or you're pretending to be submissive. Which one are you ?

No disrespect but that’s dumb as shit. I’ve realised now it was just dudes that I was struggling to submit to but I have no problem being walked all over by women. I also love being a dom to both women and men, it’s so hot. I love being with other switches too because you can be domming them the next day and then being the sub the next. This is like saying you can’t be bisexual lmao. I’m slut I want the best of both worlds

[Deleted Member]

September 19, SayMaam said:

You're either submissive or you're dominant. There is no "switch." If you're struggling to submit, it's because you're not submissive . People who called themselves "switch " are pretending. They are pretending to be dominant, or you're pretending to be submissive. Which one are you ?

Really?