Advice re Orgasms

[Fa****]

How do you get out of your head when you're on top or in general? I have a difficult time with orgasms during sex or oral? It feels like its so close and then....nothing. Most of my Os come from cliteral stimulation (self induced).
Any advice is welcome!

[Odd-1086]

Train a slave to give you exactly what you need. Maybe a cuckold.

[CuriousRose]

I need to have ALOT of foreplay, which includes a few hours (lunch, being outside) basically a day date with dinner or a drink or two. When I’m with someone typically we really know one another, I’m able to guide and ask for what I need with them being willing to do so. I’m also very able to explain what I need from them. Sometimes if I’m nervous I actually blindfold the person I’m with so I don’t feel like I’m being visually judged while on top, I can actually end up doing what feels good to me to reach an orgasm. Then if what I’m doing doesn’t work for them they can do what they need to with me (if that makes sense).

[Jo****]

Yessss

[Fa****]

Maybe I should have added that i am not dominant in any way to the post lol

[Deleted Member]

When I have self doubts about body image and the way I am being portrayed via on top or in general I find it way easier to throw a little extra ingredient to the mix, like maybe tie your partner up with there consent maybe a blind fold. Whatever your level of comfortability may be I always find it Soo worth it to be spontaneous and daring

[fr****]

Hello and Happy Holidays. I wish I was closer to where you are… I think you could benefit from an authentic massage therapist that’s actually trained in the art of yoni/erotic massage. I was trained many years ago and nearly 95% or more of my clients have experienced a whole body squirting orgasm at least once each time they are massaged. It’s really amazing to be a part of that experience, especially to be that person who helped them find that part of themselves. Best wishes…

[po****]

One thing that should help is foreplay, as you don't get much of what gets you off through sex usually.

A solution to that, assuming you can handle multiple Os, is make it sexy. Offer to "put on a show" for him, and just lay back and have at it. That should put your body into the right state for fun, and then have your partner start to join in (you can stimulate the clit while he penetrates or eats you out). Even if you don't get much from penetration during oral, that can help "train your body" to link pleasure to that sensation.

Also, get a toy you can put on your clit while you ride on top, so as you move, your clit stays stimulated.

[Deleted Member]

Finding your own comfort is important for starters. Taking the stress and anxiety of reaching climax will also help. Having your partner understand what turns you on….and instead of trying to go straight to the orgasm, build it up. Foreplay, toys…whatever feels good to you. Tease yourself and practice edging.

What you might need….is someone who explores you better. Some people do not know the climax they can obtain because of the anxiety of performing. Try to just enjoy the ride and find a partner who makes your body voyage without searching for the orgasm.

Learning your body and unlocking its potential may take some time if you are patient with yourself.

[Co****]

It sounds like you probably suffer from ADD and trust me, I sometimes have to focus on the act. Like I have to close my eyes and visualize going in and out or whatever. It really helps when the other person moans or says things that feed into that pleasure building.

Also do you orgasm when someone goes down on you? Sometimes you need to find the right type of stimulation. There are typically three erogenous zones. The clit that extends to the labia are both super erogenous and with manual stimulation or thicker penetration they can engorge and make things easier. (Which I'm also told you can take supplements to help with that Engorgement).

Then there's what's typically known as the G-Spot. Which is on the upper part of the vaginal canal which can also be stimulated to cause squirting but with rhythmic motion and sometimes a shallower penetration can lead to that type of orgasm. And then lastly is back of the vaginal canal which can also be simulated via the anus or in certain positions like doggy style or other positions that help reach back towards the cervix.

I typically prefer to lead with foreplay which helps get my partner into a mindset where it clears the mind of anything but what we're doing. Using oral and leading her to climax usually leads to several more climaxes during sex.

[mi****]

You have to tap into those urges that push you to orgasm, porn and self pleasure is not ruins normal sex for people.

[DK****]

I equate the female orgasm to the construction of a super highway between the body and mind.

It starts first with the initial rudimentary and clumsy path or trails you create through masturbation and other forms of self discovery.

You continually add more and more lanes, off ramps, lighting and signage through experienced and attentive builders and engineers who are your lovers.

It is finalised as a super Multi Lane expressway when you are able to orgasm not just from clitoral but also cervical, gspot, penetrative, breast play, anal, skin and of course multiple successive orgasms just to name a few you're more than capable of. (Women's bodies are amazing 😍)

Metaphors aside, many are involved but none are more important in this process than you. Remember that all orgasms are nothing more than a reflex.

In order to really understand how to get out of your head we need to find out why you're in it in the first place mentally and why your body is 'skipping' over the pleasure part of orgasm?

I've experienced this with past lovers. In all cases what worked best to build the first gravel compacted lane was 5 minutes of oral followed by 10 minutes of massage using a timer.

The purpose of the timer is it excused the partner of feeling she had to cum. It removed the responsibility of the orgasm from her, allowed her to be submissive and surrender the responsibility to her Dominant lover.

Of course, it generally takes many attempts and within each attempt is multiple off/on timed cycles. But using these techniques I've never known anything other than success.

Having said all this full disclosure, I'm just some clown from the internet. But feel free to DM me if you want to discuss the psychology of why you might be experiencing what you are if you don't want to discuss publicly or if your partner needs a few tips.

Cheers, Davien.

[pa****]

Alcohol helps if you have mental issues

[Co****]

If youre too much in your head, then the answer is simple. Why are you in your head and what are you in your head about?
Then address and solve it.
Teach yourself to think about the sensations and the aspects that turn you on. Dont gnit-pick the fun. Dont think or worry about "does ____ think I look gross like this??" Etc etc etc.
Think about the parts that turn you on. Think about how it feels and imagine it happening as you're doing it. Imagine you're getting visuals of it happening even when you close your eyes.
Imagine the results you want and your favorite parts and endings.
Narrate it in your head like you're reading your favorite smut/dark fantasy.

[co****]

Seen this before, helped fix this before.
Your mind is creating prediction, anticipation and expectation, trying to *** it --to will it to happen, because you WANT it to happen. This is counter-intuitively what keeps you furthest from it.

Your own brain is basically 'box-blocking' you from your own ecstasy.

Sex isn't a great space for thinking, it's a space for feeling, and it's easier said than done to keep it that way.

You need a stimulus to draw your attention back to your body--something subtle, yet intense, something so difficult to ignore that there's no space between events for thought, only arousal and sensation.

These two things will help you:

1) It helps when it's not something you can control and is done by someone else. This works because it removes your brains ability to create predictions, forecasts and expectations, robbing your ability to control the outcome, and thus leaving you no choice, but to surrender to it's sensory crescendo and inevitable tipping point. A modified position, a different angle, a new sensory input.

2) Spend more time in foreplay, with or without touch. Build the tension, tease the moment before activity starts, prompt yourself with sinfully decadent fantasies.
This works because your pre-emptive excitement will lower the threshold required for you to reach orgasm.

All the best, and may your next orgasm following these tips be readily mistaken for an exorcism,

C

[xl****]

I haven’t cum from oral in years so I’m probably the wrong one to give advice. But, just be the slut you want to be. Also, feel free to get on 👻 and message me for more info

[Th****]

Women who try my erotic massage therapy, beginning with relaxing in the jacuzzi 🍸have no trouble with O's and squirting for most. Sometimes, getting over the edge will help your mindset and clear out the "static" interference preventing you from completing your orgasms. Witnessing these breakthroughs is life changing.

[an****]

For me, I just try to keep it simple: ask questions, listen to their responses, and don’t over think it. Let your body react and don’t stop it. It’ll cum soon enough and often when you least expect it.

[c1****]

Yes, I exactly what the issue is, quite a few of my exes had that same complaint . A problem that they all had solved isn’t spend a night with me!!!

[EA****]

Make sure the guy plays with your privates longer!

[fe****]

Yeah quit wearing yourself out all the time man that means seriously girl you're desensitizing yourself to all the goodies try edging for a while get that thing back to robust lovely feeling this and what not ever but no you're doing it too much you're no no no regroup honey

[Fa****]

I appreciate the advice to blindfold they guy and do excessive foreplay. Not sure he would let me tie him up, but im going to ask lol.
Anyone have anything to help me stay in the moment during oral(on me)? I get right to the edge but can't fall over it into bliss. If I do intentional edging I cant get off at all after. Hard to think there's nothing wrong with me, but I know the people here have always come through with helpful suggestions, tips and tricks. I'm desperate to fix this one. Nothing shatters the male ego more than having to get myself off after we have sex.

[Ms****]

Lots of good advice here, but also stop caring so much about the other person's pleasure. When you are on top, you are setting the pace and movement that feels good to you, just like a guy does when he's the one in charge of the thrusting. Grinding often feels better for us, because hopefully it's deep enough that it's hitting past your cervix to the A-spot and damn, it's chef's kiss. Keep in mind that when you allow yourself to be free in your sexuality, that is sexy in itself. Most good lovers are going to be turned on by you enjoying yourself. If your partner isn't praising your body or helping you feel sexy, get a new partner. Learning how to love your own body and allowing yourself to be free in your orgasmic feelings and getting vocal while doing it, is the best thing you can do for yourself. Also, maybe instead of a blindfold for your partner, try wearing one for yourself, maybe head phones too.

[Fa****]

I only see 6 comments out of 23. Can someone message me and tell me what setting I have to change to see the rest? I already tried see previous comments and that didn't work. Sorry to be needy, I'm missing so much information and this is a legit issue for me. Thanks in advance

[Ms****]

At the top, click on "show previous comments"