"True Dom not someone who is playing at being one"

[Deleted Member]

Newbie post....

I keep seeing personal ads (not here) and this pops up on many of them. "True Dom not someone who is playing at being one" and it got me thinking that there are clearly lots of people out there who are not happy with the "Doms" that they spend time with and want something a "true Dom" only can provide. What is this superpower? Are they born this way? City and Guilds in (True) Domming? I suspect they mean someone with no interest other than just wanting sex.

I joke but to all you kinks out there, what do you think makes a great Dom/Domme?  Is there anything you miss from previous partners that made your meets feel more special?

Just curious really.

[Mike_22]

For me being a Daddy, it’s knowing that I can help a Little grow and take care of them. To me it’s an honour and makes me proud to see a little blossom.

[slutpuppy99]

i think a "true dom" is somebody who has been active in the community for many years and know the proper way to do things.

some doms use it as an excuse too *** women, some use it as a means to degrade women.

a lot of these guys "playing doms" is all fun and games.

but some women pretty much want to sign there life away to a man. like, actual contracts.

[Ky****]

48 minutes ago, slutpuppy99 said:

but some women pretty much want to sign there life away to a man. like, actual contracts.

goes for trans women as well, sigh

[ey****]

I generally hate the word "true" but when you understand the problem

There's ladies who are looking for a Dominant and what they get is usually people who either are completely inexperienced, but not proactively learning - who assume roles from the start - the "I'm not a Dom but I'd like to try" or other wildly inappropriate contact.

Assuming someone wants to "sign their life away" is also a mistake many make.

-

So it's a case of not wanting the snotty nosed "I'll give it a go" or the entitled arseholes but those actively involved in the lifestyle.  

[Deleted Member]

I like sexually dominant men who don’t go on about how ‘true’ and domly they are 🙄. If you’re boasting about it, you haven’t got it. Nothing wrong with inexperience. Lots of men find their kinky vocation later in life, just as I found mine.

[Mc1-3556]

I say I’m a dom
But practicing to be a better dom and I always like to stimulate the mind before anything else .

[Wo****]

A "true" Dom has no need to tell anyone that they are.

I think if you need to tell someone you're something, you're probably not.

[Deleted Member]

For me it's one whose comfortable with the truth of what one is and doesn't try to change to fit what others may feel a "Dom" should be. They are Dominant in life in general, not just when a quivering submissive is restrained and at their mercy. A strong character who protects and cares, sees they are far from perfect themselves and accepts their own flaws. Being Dominant is far from how hard you can use a paddle or how much you can mark.

[ol****]

1 hour ago, Bounty said:

A "true" Dom has no need to tell anyone that they are.

I think if you need to tell someone you're something, you're probably not.

Yes exactly right.

[Si****]

There are a lot of people saying "im this, and Im that. However when you meet them its the feeling you get more than the words. As i see it, a real Dom has his own S++t in order. He knows his limits and is willing to learn and find out the things he doesnt know. Ive been doing this a long time but im still learning and always will.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

For me it's one whose comfortable with the truth of what one is and doesn't try to change to fit what others may feel a "Dom" should be. They are Dominant in life in general, not just when a quivering submissive is restrained and at their mercy. A strong character who protects and cares, sees they are far from perfect themselves and accepts their own flaws. Being Dominant is far from how hard you can use a paddle or how much you can mark.

I agree wholeheartedly with everything except that a Dom should be dominant in general. I think that’s often what those who have dominant tendencies think they need to be. But whilst often that is true - as with you, dear Donny - I have known many dominants who are quite chilled and laid back outside of kink. Turning it on and off like a switch. Just as subs can and do - I am not meek outside of the bedroom!

[Ar****]

4 hours ago, Bounty said:

A "true" Dom has no need to tell anyone that they are.

I think if you need to tell someone you're something, you're probably not.

As one of my favourite adages goes, watch out for people who brag about who they are - a lion will never have to tell you it is a lion.

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, SirGreen said:

. Ive been doing this a long time but im still learning and always will.

So true, yet that's the case for life in general, none of us is ever "fully qualified" there is always more to learn.

[Deleted Member]

15 hours ago, slutpuppy99 said:

i think a "true dom" is somebody who has been active in the community for many years and know the proper way to do things.
 

Some one active in the lifestyle for many years may have hurt many women,  leaving emotional car crashes behind them time and time again.  I've seen older men,  wise men come into the lifestyle and nail it from the off because they're intelligent kind and instinctive and emotionally healthy.  So I don't think time is an indicator. 

 

13 hours ago, Bounty said:

A "true" Dom has no need to tell anyone that they are.

I think if you need to tell someone you're something, you're probably not.

I do agree with you @Bounty professions are status are definitely an indicator of the person self appointed importance rather that a respect and title earned. 

 

1 hour ago, Donnykinkster said:

So true, yet that's the case for life in general, none of us is ever "fully qualified" there is always more to learn.

Every day is definitely a school day!!!

 

11 hours ago, SirGreen said:

 As i see it, a real Dom has his own S++t in order.

This is a huge indicator.... as long as they are open and honest..... but this is also relative, level of functioning and capability in life is different for everyone, finding people who match yours is the challenge. 

 

The point bring is that all people are different,  one girls treasure is another girls trash.... there's nowt as queer as folk etc etc etc!!!!

 

The trouble i find with pointing at others and claiming falsity wastes time examining and looking at the self. 

 

Developing your own discernment and integrity and ability to search deep into yourself will reduce the need to criticise and point at others. 

 

Rather than searching for someone else's truth,  I believe in seeking to find your own, because that enables the individual to know what they need,  how to get it and how to exercise boundaries with those that don't come up to scratch. 

 

Find your soul,  mate before looking for your soulmate (s)

 

🔥🔥🔥 

[Me****]

19 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

Find your soul,  mate before looking for your soulmate (s)

 

🔥🔥🔥 

🔥fire, you are wise.

(and grammatically dexterous)

😂😂😂

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

🔥fire, you are wise.

(and grammatically dexterous)

😂😂😂

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

Thanks!!

🔥🌈👑🌈🔥

[Carnelian2]

I like the one with "a lion doesn't have tell other that he/she is a lion" - if you feel the need to say you are brilliant, then you are probably not!
Finding who we are is a journey, and finding someone who at this point in our journey fits that is a gift from the Universe. Finding someone who can share the entire journey is a small miracle to be cherished.

 

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, Curvykate said:

I agree wholeheartedly with everything except that a Dom should be dominant in general. 

You misunderstand, for me I'm like that in general, just spent a lifetime not realising what it was. I have two very contrasting natures, the switch being thrown as you say Kate.

[Me****]

Easy way to tell who is the dominant-

SEX FIGHT!!!!!

Whoever has their face jammed in the mattress, arse in the air by the end of the fight is obviously  NOT the Dominant.

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

[Ky****]

18 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

Easy way to tell who is the dominant-

SEX FIGHT!!!!!

Whoever has their face jammed in the mattress, arse in the air by the end of the fight is obviously  NOT the Dominant.

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

now that would cause me problems, I'm a sexually submissive woman so obviously want to be the one face down arse in the air, but I'm also a trained grappler with strength from my male chromosome and not sure I could throw the bout to an untrained person.  May test it out someday

[Me****]

11 minutes ago, Kymi said:

but I'm also a trained grappler with strength from my male chromosome and not sure I could throw the bout to an untrained person.

Im a hundred kilos of ripped Navy trained man hunter. You wouldn't have to play at losing...

Now get that ass in the air!

(administers hand print 🖐)

 

 

Edited October 16, 2020 by METALSIR
edit

[Ky****]

2 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

Im a hundred kilos of ripped Navy trained man hunter. You wouldn't have to play at losing...

Now get that ass in the air!

(administers hand print 🖐)

 

 

70 kg, jujutsu and judo black belt whose defeated olympians in contests, may not be that easy-although if you left hand print on my arse early enough I'd probably fold lol

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

Im a hundred kilos of ripped Navy trained man hunter. You wouldn't have to play at losing...

Now get that ass in the air!

(administers hand print 🖐)

 

 

 

8 minutes ago, Kymi said:

70 kg, jujutsu and judo black belt whose defeated olympians in contests, may not be that easy-although if you left hand print on my arse early enough I'd probably fold lol

Can I watch?!!!

🔥🔥🔥😈🔥🔥🔥

[Ky****]

1 minute ago, Firewitch said:

 

Can I watch?!!!

🔥🔥🔥😈🔥🔥🔥

depends if metal is going to win, by cheating with that spank, yes if he is lol