Intimate Doms

[Ch****]

Here's two more cents from Chromedom. Here's another case where I think labels dont help. (I dont know if "intimate dom" is a thing, but that's not important). This is a sexually-charged dating site. A lot of guys are here because they think they'll get laid. Or get to play/dominate, without deep connection or commitment because, you know, it's fun and we're all adults. But I'm guessing you are a lot like jenna, and perhaps most women, who want depth and connection...you don't submit without it. What did we do? Converse for weeks before we ever met. Was there some sexy talk? Sure...but that wasnt all. In some ways, that happened because Im old enough to know better, and because I wasnt desperate. It may fall on you to be out front with your wants...that you want some non-sexual talk, to build the connection and so you can judge character. When it doesnt happen then, you move on. But I'd also re-stress that you have to say it, not assume that they should know it, if you dont want to potentially throw out a good fish. Some men can respond well to redirection...and it's true that sometimes women dont want complicated or deep (and men likely overestimate how often this is). Sorry this is your experience, though...good luck!

[Deleted Member]

Some Doms keep trying to find a connection only to get ghosted after what seemed like good conversation.

[en****]

Nah you’re totally right about needing the emotional intimacy

[en****]

what I enjoy about sex, is watching my partner truly enjoy the experience and knowing that I am responsible for all their pleasure

[en****]

And you need a high degree of trust in each other to know whether or not you’re partner is really enjoying themselves

[ok****]

Yeah. I think most people that call themself Dom are actually just people looking for easy rough sex haha xD that is sad lol

[Ca****]

If it lacks intimacy then the Dom is usually just insecure! It’s a relationship not a fight

[Deleted Member]

I think it should start like a vanilla just knowing both sides have preferences.Than with trust and intimacy increases with sharing what they like in bedroom and also outside it becomes proper dom-sub relationship.

[Deleted Member]

Oh I relate so much to this. Obviously, some choose to have a nsa Dom/sub without accountibility as it suits them. To me, intimacy is needed for the dynamic to flourish and develop to new levels. Unfortunately for some, intimacy which involves an element of vulnerability, a level of trust and huge leap of faith, it's uncomfortable or seen as a hard limit usually in their vanilla and kink, D/s or BDSM lives. Pre-care, check in and after care are all important for all parties. Don't give up hope. x

[Tr****]

You Also want to make sure you’re Compatible as Well. Intimacy Isn’t just about Sex. Intimacy is so Much More than Just sex. So you Want to Make Sure there’s a Connection Beyond sex as Well. That’s my Best Advice as a Daddy Dom.

[Ca****]

3 hours ago, xLittle_Lady_of_Lotx said:

Oh I relate so much to this. Obviously, some choose to have a nsa Dom/sub without accountibility as it suits them. To me, intimacy is needed for the dynamic to flourish and develop to new levels. Unfortunately for some, intimacy which involves an element of vulnerability, a level of trust and huge leap of faith, it's uncomfortable or seen as a hard limit usually in their vanilla and kink, D/s or BDSM lives. Pre-care, check in and after care are all important for all parties. Don't give up hope. x

You’re totally rite ,from my experiences If someone is
Relinquishing power to there partner like little lady of laytex said it takes a “huge leap of faith“ that the master won’t *** that control and everyone needs are met The experience could be more hurtful than pleasant. I find intimacy is a huge part of alternative relationships and being able to express the role, you feel comfortable in can make intimacy way more beautiful and exciting being a Dom and being strict doesn’t mean removing the intimacy!!!

[Pi****]

I feel this, also I’ve just gotten a lot messages from “doms” that use it as an excuse to push boundaries

[Deleted Member]

I completely agree, I am a daddy dom, but to me is (cuddles,and after=care) are 2 of my favorite things, but its still not easy to find a partner

[Re****]

As a soft dom myself. I feel a lot of guys confuse it for sure. It's an art to be ***ful yet loving at the same time. It takes practice, and I feel like a lot of guys just aren't experienced in that area.

[Ad****]

There sad thing is there's a lot of people on all ends of the lifestyle who aren't educated enough to know what they like, or what the options are. It's frustrating, and just like any dating, it takes time to figure it all out. I can promise you there are caring Doms out there. I hope you find one that meets your needs and desires.

[en****]

16 hours ago, Blankof said:

I think it should start like a vanilla just knowing both sides have preferences.Than with trust and intimacy increases with sharing what they like in bedroom and also outside it becomes proper dom-sub relationship.

Couldn’t have said it better myself…. It’s why I think im finding people to meet here irl so difficult!

[en****]

16 hours ago, Blankof said:

I think it should start like a vanilla just knowing both sides have preferences.Than with trust and intimacy increases with sharing what they like in bedroom and also outside it becomes proper dom-sub relationship.

Because a lot of people on here come into the convo and go straight to talking about sex or wanting to know what you’re “doing here on this site”

But the kinkiest sex I’ve had has always grown as our emotional relationship grew.

What started out as pure vanilla sex evolved at the same pace as our emotional bond did….which meant in 6 months I introduced her to her first sex shop and just bought some sexy outfits and flavored lube to try, and within a few months she had a dildo collection, was giving and taking ***s before pegging me in our sex harness

[en****]

Moral of the story is, if you go out looking for a kinky encounter with a total stranger it’s likely to be awkward, my best advise for cumming into a Novel sexual experience is to do it with someone you know and trust—full stop

[da****]

Coming from a sad sub/little it's very hard to c*m bi...it's hard to give them that kinda power and they always *** the trust😒😟😓

[Ni****]

I also am missing and craving intimacy. You are not alone.

[Deleted Member]

I think it's the confusion with what a dom is, or the perception it's all about control and dominance. Even more so the distorted idea from a dom pespective rhat masculinity is just about power and not the care and affection that men should also be able to give. Even when meeting someone recently there should always be a level of intimacy, care and affection from my own point of view. But then again there are also many women dont want this so there is no 'one size fits all' and it can be difficult to navigate.

[Deleted Member]

totally agreed with you it’s hard 🙃

[ge****]

Indeed

[En****]

You’re looking for a soft, romantic dom. Someone who doesn’t crave the power of dominance, but the love and trust that goes into such a dynamic.

Which I can say exists because I’m that way when I’m the dominant *** in a relationship. I don’t like power dynamics, I want my partners to melt for me and let me play them like a fine instrument, admire them like a work of art.

Master/slave shit is a huge no for me. I got this really big thing about personal freedom and the exercise of free will that i take extremely seriously. (Meaning other people can get up to it, but keep me so far out of it)

[Deleted Member]

Because many dom are imposters, are only underf**ked . Someone who got no chance to see a p*ssy. In their reality is a sub only a hole ,they don't have to pay for. They don't understand the roles and dynamics. If you meet someone ask them to go hiking in a group ( never alone ) , visit a zoo or an event ,where he has to talk. If he has no social skills in a group and can't talk and shows emotions and empathy, then don't expect he use you as a sub/ partner.