Intimate Doms

[Deleted Member]

On 10/7/2025 at 6:16 AM, Andrewcb2025 said:

Because many dom are imposters, are only underf**ked . Someone who got no chance to see a p*ssy. In their reality is a sub only a hole ,they don't have to pay for. They don't understand the roles and dynamics. If you meet someone ask them to go hiking in a group ( never alone ) , visit a zoo or an event ,where he has to talk. If he has no social skills in a group and can't talk and shows emotions and empathy, then don't expect he use you as a sub/ partner.

This is probably the perfect response for finding a dom that has the emotional connection to their sub. Communications is paramount when you are looking for a “soft” Dom. Someone who understands it’s more than just the power dynamics but an intimate connection understanding that their sub is giving into control but the Dom needs to be empathetic to their subs emotions.

[kinkymasterandrew]

There are many different types of doms, and subs, and switches. The more aggressive less intimate are probably more plentiful but they're also more likely to reach out to more people since they can connect and disconnect easier. Keep up the hunt, I expect you can find a good match.

[th****]

That's super valid

[Da****]

Maybe you have been dealing with the wrong kinds of Doms. We're not all wired the same way. As already stated, some of us do it out love and connection with the sub, and others just want the power.

[St****]

With my subs I always take time to get the feeling and connection before starting our games... Gladly, I found that each time they feel at ease within minutes, and as our trust intensify, so does our games and my funishment

Sad to read that it's not the norm

[Deleted Member]

On 10/7/2025 at 6:16 AM, Andrewcb2025 said:

Because many dom are imposters, are only underf**ked . Someone who got no chance to see a p*ssy. In their reality is a sub only a hole ,they don't have to pay for. They don't understand the roles and dynamics. If you meet someone ask them to go hiking in a group ( never alone ) , visit a zoo or an event ,where he has to talk. If he has no social skills in a group and can't talk and shows emotions and empathy, then don't expect he use you as a sub/ partner.

Have to laugh at "underf**ked". Accurate. 😆

[ma****]

No @Lavish-Ly I've been coming across the same problems, whether in life or here. What happened to having conversations and seeing if you're even compatible with your desires? Then the negotiations and building some form of trust. Where's that anymore? There are far too many people who claim they're Doms but they're either inexperienced, confused or flat out ***rs. All I can say is to be patient doll, I'm sure we'll find something here.

[it****]

You are not alone. Often I talk to “Doms” who are really just swingers and don’t have the first idea of a D/s relationship.

[TS****]

I cant get anyone to talk to me haha

[Mm****]

For some it's just
DOM = DOManding, I guess.

[sa****]

I actually fully agree on your post on men confusing Dom leaving out intimacy etc

[Deleted Member]

If you read the forum past posts there is a Domme that heavily advertises himself as one.

[BruiseWayne]

On 10/7/2025 at 3:59 PM, Steph456 said:

With my subs I always take time to get the feeling and connection before starting our games... Gladly, I found that each time they feel at ease within minutes, and as our trust intensify, so does our games and my funishment

Sad to read that it's not the norm

I don't think it isn't the norm. It is, actually. Most people are doing things this way you just don't really hear too much about the dynamics that are running smoothly or the people who are taking the proper steps and treating others/their partners the right way because people only ever make threads to vent their frustrations over the problems they're experiencing and the ones who are out there causing them. 

 

If you make a post about how great your dynamic is and how wonderful you Dom/me or sub is to you and how much you love and respect one another, how you took the time to build trust get to know one another and make sure you play in a safe and sane manner well you're just fuckin bragging at that point now aren't you? And where's the discussion to be had about that really aside from a bunch of people congratulating you on a job well done? lol

 

Edited October 9, 2025 by BruiseWayne

[Sm****]

Im naturally intimate and it’s what turns me on. Foreplay and intimacy. Usually not dominating until its time to punish you 👺

[Si****]

Theres way too many “50 shades” wannabes or the bible thumpers who are out there trying to demand what they want from their sub with the do what i say crap(false alphas?) sorry but its not all about YOU and what you want theres another person in the mix. (And they are not your mindless slave)
Slow the frick down learn to explore and know your submissive. Show her respect and intimacy outside the bedroom as well (intimacy isnt always sexual) breakfast in bed, flowers, show her you care dont just say it.

In the bedroom slow down really look at her, take your time with her body toss her on the bed and kiss her slow from head to toe Find those spots that maybe even she didnt know drive her wild. (And tease them later hehe)

Too many dogs out here who wanna bark orders then nut and fall asleep. Man the fk up and treat your sub like a queen it comes back to you ten fold she’ll want to serve and she’ll crave you as her safe place.
Earn your trust, respect and place in her heart as well as earn that power she gives you (study the dom/sub power dynamic and see whose truly in charge)

[Hu****]

As a Dom male I hear your distress. The slave is a slave always but the sub often only adopts their character for the bedroom. There are many like me who are Dom in the bedroom but caring at all other times.
Many men who don't classify themselves as Dom will adopt the role for the bedroom if asked. They don't identify as Dom because they have never given themselves the chance to express their Dominance in the bedroom.
Finding the right balance can be hard but understanding where to look helps a lot.

[Si****]

12 hours ago, HungDaddy4Free said:

As a Dom male I hear your distress. The slave is a slave always but the sub often only adopts their character for the bedroom. There are many like me who are Dom in the bedroom but caring at all other times.
Many men who don't classify themselves as Dom will adopt the role for the bedroom if asked. They don't identify as Dom because they have never given themselves the chance to express their Dominance in the bedroom.
Finding the right balance can be hard but understanding where to look helps a lot.

It’s one awesome thing about being a “Dom” there is no cookie cutter definition of one and you can be who you are. I think in talking to people and friends some guys don’t want to “be a dom” because it means smacking your gf around and being cruel. When in reality that’s not how it is at all.
You can be an amazing Daddy dom and be someones safe place, or a pleasure Dom and ravage your pet but you can also be that discipliner/teacher/authority she craves (and that you want to be).

Doms and subs get yourself on the net and look up some amazing resources/guides/books..or communities and really find out what kind of role you want to be.

Also dont let a bad experience of a wannabe ruin you from exploring the lifestyle. Find knowledge and train. Find a legit Dom or Sub to learn from, find local educational groups (avoid the creepers)

[Tr****]

October 4, RopeLamb said:

It's not just you, it's hard to find anyone that wants to establish intimacy with a personal connection. It's possible, just challenging. Keep going and good luck.

But we are out here..it feels like because of those that we are instantly looked upon as fake instead of coming into it with an open minded approach and quickly shut down if something is slightly suspect. I understand protecting yourselves i do but is it possible we as a whole get doubted because of a group of liars that can’t get a woman without lying or pretending? A shame cause some good situations aren’t getting a chance for reasons that don’t pertain to the individual themself

[Cu****]

Yesterday at 02:55 AM, SirTribalWolf said:

It’s one awesome thing about being a “Dom” there is no cookie cutter definition of one and you can be who you are. I think in talking to people and friends some guys don’t want to “be a dom” because it means smacking your gf around and being cruel. When in reality that’s not how it is at all.
You can be an amazing Daddy dom and be someones safe place, or a pleasure Dom and ravage your pet but you can also be that discipliner/teacher/authority she craves (and that you want to be).

Doms and subs get yourself on the net and look up some amazing resources/guides/books..or communities and really find out what kind of role you want to be.

Also dont let a bad experience of a wannabe ruin you from exploring the lifestyle. Find knowledge and train. Find a legit Dom or Sub to learn from, find local educational groups (avoid the creepers)

Well said. Intimacy is so important. It can deepen everything else and it doesn’t mean you have to swap out any other elements for it.

The Dom and sub roles don’t have to be just one thing, it can be a variety of dynamics. It’s about finding what best fits you. Don’t feel like you have to fit into a certain mold. Part of the fun is discovering what’s best for you and to continue that exploration. There is always more to learn and explore.

It’s important to have a level of trust with your partner as well. Whether it’s only with a casual scene partner or in a relationship. Communication is everything.

[Tr****]

This is one of my favorite responsibilities of being a Dom. Intimacy includes sweeping her off her feet; and having a way with words is a pleasure of mine to have.

[Wh****]

All of this! So many dudes claim to be “doms” when really they’re just control freaks with a lack of emotional intelligence. That’s nothing but a recipe for toxicity.

[Si****]

Monday at 04:20 AM, WhimsicalWanderer said:

All of this! So many dudes claim to be “doms” when really they’re just control freaks with a lack of emotional intelligence. That’s nothing but a recipe for toxicity.

Just out for their own wants and needs of getting off. Not a balanced partnership at all Or worse yet a legit toxic narcissist who feeds on it.

[La****]

Safety first lady's. From what I have seen across platforms, out of 100%, 75% of men use BDSM as a means to get laid, and not just with you, with as many as possible. 25% are true Dom's that will respect you. If you are submissive I suggest you choose wisely. Think about which type of play dynamic you want to be in? Research various types of BDSM play. Obtain BDSM limits list, check mark which limits apply to you and discuss that with your Dom before any type of play commences. Ask Dom what his plan is for Aftercare. Trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right then it is not right and you should leave immediately.

[lo****]

I am an intimate dom, and it's hard finding a sub

[Mi****]

Most subs are about sexually pleasing theirselves and not truly of service, intimacy shouldn't be your sole aim in BDSM