Ca**** Posted October 18 20 minutes ago, Cade said: Actually, to the contrary, I feel we are see more the ramifications of "sexual oppression", and the rubber band effect. I can't speak for any place but in America where we have a very puritanical view of sex (but *** is okay). This oppression has been examined by newer generations and the natural order is to rebel! So, from sexual oppression comes sexual ignorance which turned into sexual adventurism. And what is the next logical step beyond adventurism? Let's recall Jeffrey Dahmer, and his progression from an oppressed "sexual deviant" to killing, dismembering, and eating his sexual partners to soothe the surpressed rage at being what he was taught to be evil. I'm not saying everyone will take that path, just pointing out the natural progression of said rebellion. You hit the nail on the head with "oppression." This generation of oppressed becomes the next generation of oppressors. Symantec differences aside, I think we can agree that there is a problem to be solved, but first we need to come together and adjust our perspectives until we can solidly identify the REAL problem.
mo**** Posted October 18 What we need IS education not p o r n good information about all the ways of s e x because even in soft p o r n not always IS there some real information. More views for sure, maybe some spark of intrest i can see that!
Ka**** Posted October 18 (edited) Following Mod comment: to follow a forum post in the app, go to the three dots in the top right and select follow. On the website at the top of the post there is a pink button on the right "follow". This would usually be removed from the chat as "off topic" to prevent a discussion being cluttered but I've left it here to show share the explanation for users. I hope it helps. Edited October 18 by FETMod-HG To explain shortcut
FETMod-HG Posted October 18 Adding in again, we have had a few reports for this post, concerned about the anti-kink message. Whilst we do not accept anti-kink judgement in this community, this discussion has flowed as an exploration of the subject, which is exactly what the Kink Academy is here for. We have allowed it for this reason, but we recognise that this community does not deserve to be judged and vilified for their chosen, very legal, adult pleasures. Thank you for your reports, and I hope you can see why we are currently allowing it whilst the discussion is healthy. Some unhelpful comments have been removed. Thank you for your understanding (And please remember Moderators are volunteer members, trying to support our community. See the FAQ section for further details if you wish to help as a fellow Moderator)
Ca**** Posted October 18 1 hour ago, monique370 said: What we need IS education not p o r n good information about all the ways of s e x because even in soft p o r n not always IS there some real information. More views for sure, maybe some spark of intrest i can see that! Completely agree. Not just with sex, when we're ***d to figure things out for ourselves, then we only learn what our ignorant mind can piece together. It is FAR healthier when *** begin their sexual curiosity to create a safe place where they can be given good information and not meant to feel shameful for discovering it feels good when someone touches your naughty place. No I am NOT endorsing any kind of sexual actions with/in front of ***. But they DO need to know that it's okay to feel like that, and explore it safely. At the very least, creating a safe environment for them to ask questions and learn allows them to grow in a healthy way, rather than twisting their desires into the realm of unacceptable because they COULDN'T ask questions or talk about it. The shame you I still when you over react because you caught them touching themselves follows them all their life. And that's what twists sex into increasingly deviant behavior.
ey**** Posted October 18 the truth is in education - but then the problem often is there's a lot of pushback when there's proposals to widen sex education at schools etc. I don't think folk realise the old adage; if you don't educate on sex, nor let schools do it - then the internet will do it.
Do**** Posted October 18 I think you’d be surprised how good the schools are now at education on sex, sexuality, gender fluidity, consent, healthy and unhealthy relationships. It’s a constant discussion that evolves from year 5 (age 9-10) though to leaving school. Many schools will explore ethics under the same heading and religion and broader the exploration to ethical living. It’s a lot better than it was for many of us in school.
Cade Posted October 18 (edited) 2 hours ago, CasualPlay said: And what is the next logical step beyond adventurism? Let's recall Jeffrey Dahmer, and his progression from an oppressed "sexual deviant" to killing, dismembering, and eating his sexual partners to soothe the surpressed rage at being what he was taught to be evil. I'm not saying everyone will take that path, just pointing out the natural progression of said rebellion. You hit the nail on the head with "oppression." This generation of oppressed becomes the next generation of oppressors. Symantec differences aside, I think we can agree that there is a problem to be solved, but first we need to come together and adjust our perspectives until we can solidly identify the REAL problem. I don't think that is the "natural progression" - obviously so as that is very far from the normal. That's closer to "slippery slope" logic and "just because it is a possible outcome means it's the definite outcome". Simple truth is, if you're worried so much about an extreme outcome with less than a percentile possibility, I have to echo a lot of other people in saying that RACK culture is probably not for you, with the belief that all interactions have some inherit risk that should be identified and made aware to be accepted. And yes, there is a problem: people wanting their moral beliefs imposed on others that don't share or consent to them is a very big problem! To this I can certainly agree as a human being and lifestyle sadist with extreme interests. Information, experience, knowledge and wisdom isn't shared through silence anymore than learning is done through forgetting. Edited October 18 by Cade
Ul**** Posted October 18 1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said: the truth is in education - but then the problem often is there's a lot of pushback when there's proposals to widen sex education at schools etc. I don't think folk realise the old adage; if you don't educate on sex, nor let schools do it - then the internet will do it. Well not just education, but teaching about creating healthy boundaries, using consent properly, and exploring sex and kink safely (which obviously comes later in development). For youth, they need a safe space to talk and learn about it appropriately. It's a very loaded issue with a lot of complexities and intersectional issues and concerns.
Ul**** Posted October 18 1 hour ago, Cade said: I don't think that is the "natural progression" - obviously so as that is very far from the normal. That's closer to "slippery slope" logic and "just because it is a possible outcome means it's the definite outcome". Simple truth is, if you're worried so much about an extreme outcome with less than a percentile possibility, I have to echo a lot of other people in saying that RACK culture is probably not for you, with the belief that all interactions have some inherit risk that should be identified and made aware to be accepted. And yes, there is a problem: people wanting their moral beliefs imposed on others that don't share or consent to them is a very big problem! To this I can certainly agree as a human being and lifestyle sadist with extreme interests. Information, experience, knowledge and wisdom isn't shared through silence anymore than learning is done through forgetting. Well said. I think for some, RACK ideologies can feel freeing by allowing them to engage in questionable harmful sexual interactions and experiences, but I also think that it can become dangerous for people with poor self esteem or personal boundaries. As in everything, every individual should do their due diligence to protect themselves before and while engaging in any sexual behavior, especially when there is considerable risk. Make sure to practice safe internet practices as well.
ey**** Posted October 18 13 minutes ago, UltraVioletNekoGirl said: Well not just education, but teaching about creating healthy boundaries, using consent properly, and exploring sex and kink safely (which obviously comes later in development). For youth, they need a safe space to talk and learn about it appropriately. It's a very loaded issue with a lot of complexities and intersectional issues and concerns. I feel that's a good point in the sense of - well - targetted education I'll be honest in the sense that I don't know what current educational cirruculums are BUT I do know some areas have had protests feeling it's too far. And it's perhaps a lot of the prejudice against some groups which can stifle learning. I think education has to be preportional to modern challenges.
Ch**** Posted October 18 I think the only answer for this is you can only control what you can control. Two things can be true, and the truth is, people shouldn’t have to feel insecure about expressing their sexual preferences, desires, or fetishes; people being more open about themselves gave mental peace. You’re also allowed to feel dirty about these things because yes these fetishes and kinks that some people may like, may be a lil wild for the public eye but we can all agree that exploiting and have sexual preferences for kids is beyond wrong and unacceptable in any form of society. Those aren’t kinks or fetishes, you’re mentally unstable and it’s okay to ask for help. The world is ran off a different system than we morally and consciously live by. Is I️t right for these sites and soft porn to target the pockets of those who are mentally unstable, absolutely not, do we share sites with them, absolutely. Just have to follow your heart and control what you can control. Just take a break and reset
Ul**** Posted October 18 15 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: I feel that's a good point in the sense of - well - targetted education I'll be honest in the sense that I don't know what current educational cirruculums are BUT I do know some areas have had protests feeling it's too far. And it's perhaps a lot of the prejudice against some groups which can stifle learning. I think education has to be preportional to modern challenges. Yes, all good, relevant points. It's definitely a sticky issue, because what seems appropriate to one may not feel appropriate to another. Then where do we set the standard on what is the "appropriate" level of sex education for young people? On the one hand, I can understand how some parents may feel that sex education for their youth crosses their personal parental boundaries, but the fact remains that with or without their parents' knowledge, many youth are going to be interested in and engage in sexual activities. I grew up Mormon and my whole life was told that my sexual urges were wrong. Then I got married and was given a free pass like, alright, go ahead, have fun now. I had no idea what I was doing. I truly wish I had not been shamed for my sexuality at an early age and had been given safe boundaries to understand and explore what my sexuality is. My experience isn't exactly applicable to all, but it illustrates the vast variance in the level of acceptability that people give to sexual education for youth.
ey**** Posted October 18 9 minutes ago, UltraVioletNekoGirl said: Then where do we set the standard on what is the "appropriate" level of sex education for young people? On the one hand, I can understand how some parents may feel that sex education for their youth crosses their personal parental boundaries, but the fact remains that with or without their parents' knowledge, many youth are going to be interested in and engage in sexual activities I guess also there has been an issue that... and some stuff the genie is out of the bottle for. There is more access to pornography and even with all the best controls and filters - if someone has content on their phone they can share it via bluetooth, chat channels, so on - so this becomes then a case of making awareness of what they see, and don't, in the content talk in the UK about banning choking content (which is already restricted) but that doesn't remove existing content from circulation
Ul**** Posted October 18 31 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: I feel that's a good point in the sense of - well - targetted education I'll be honest in the sense that I don't know what current educational cirruculums are BUT I do know some areas have had protests feeling it's too far. And it's perhaps a lot of the prejudice against some groups which can stifle learning. I think education has to be preportional to modern challenges. Right, all good points. And the issue comes into what some people view as appropriate may not be seen in the same light by others. So then, what determines the "appropriate" level of sex education for young people? The line can get blurred and decisions made controversial very quickly. On the one hand, I can understand that some parents may feel that certain sex ed. curriculums cross their own personal parental boundaries, but the fact remains that with or without their parents' knowledge, many youth will be interested in and even engage in sexual activities. So there's an intersectionality between parental rights/privacy and government-mandated safety for minors. Do we protect *** by educating them in sexual practices, potentially violating the rights and privacies of their parents? Or do we let youth learn on their own, within their parents boundaries? To open more to the idea of education of safe sexual practices for the youth of the world, a culture shift is necessary. I grew up Mormon, and was sexually surpressed and shamed for years until marriage, when suddenly it was okay. I had no idea what to do. I wish I'd had a safe environment to learn about my own sexuality. While my experience isn't representative of all individuals, it serves to illustrate the range of acceptability of sexual education for minors.
Ul**** Posted October 18 20 minutes ago, Chocdaddy96 said: I think the only answer for this is you can only control what you can control. Two things can be true, and the truth is, people shouldn’t have to feel insecure about expressing their sexual preferences, desires, or fetishes; people being more open about themselves gave mental peace. You’re also allowed to feel dirty about these things because yes these fetishes and kinks that some people may like, may be a lil wild for the public eye but we can all agree that exploiting and have sexual preferences for kids is beyond wrong and unacceptable in any form of society. Those aren’t kinks or fetishes, you’re mentally unstable and it’s okay to ask for help. The world is ran off a different system than we morally and consciously live by. Is I️t right for these sites and soft porn to target the pockets of those who are mentally unstable, absolutely not, do we share sites with them, absolutely. Just have to follow your heart and control what you can control. Just take a break and reset I feel like that's a very fair point of view.
Ul**** Posted October 18 Didn't mean to publish twice lol. Thought it disappeared Mod comment: all posts in Kink Academy are approved as they show in the app by default and have to be safe for app stores - so this gives a delay to them appearing according to whether there are mods on duty (volunteer members)
Ul**** Posted October 18 20 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: I guess also there has been an issue that... and some stuff the genie is out of the bottle for. There is more access to pornography and even with all the best controls and filters - if someone has content on their phone they can share it via bluetooth, chat channels, so on - so this becomes then a case of making awareness of what they see, and don't, in the content talk in the UK about banning choking content (which is already restricted) but that doesn't remove existing content from circulation Right, Or prevent people from moving their content distribution networks underground. When the hunt is on, the survivors are usually the ones who learn how to hide better.
ey**** Posted October 18 32 minutes ago, UltraVioletNekoGirl said: Right, Or prevent people from moving their content distribution networks underground. When the hunt is on, the survivors are usually the ones who learn how to hide better. There's a big issue with pirate content which can't be tamed so easily as a lot is distributed from non-compliant regions. And some of the pirate sites have some fairly disturbing things. So when, kinda, there's attempts to block legitmate sites, people end up going to the more extreme pirate content.
john-6542 Posted October 18 most of those topics have been kept to a collegiate level course for a reason. maybe I am wrong but if I'm right it ruins atleast one generation of *** if not more. all im suggesting is proceeding with caution and maybe not having cartoon instruction manuals on sexual behaviors for people who have yet to hit puberty.
CopperKnob Posted October 18 I think we can agree that people "putting apps like this in the spotlight" are really just looking for an income. But apps like this also provide people like me with a space to explore ourselves, a place welfare we don't feel abnormal. Our sexual needs are normalised because, whilst your moral code may see it as depraved, we're learning about ourselves with like minded people . You're looking at the sexual revelation from just one, in your view, negative aspect, pornography and using your own sense of morality as a means of judging others which, on a kink site... . The benefits, in my view completely outweigh the negatives We could think about the autonomy and control it gave people through access to contraception, a more relaxed attitude to non heterosexual relationships, the ability to pursue sex as a source of enjoyment/pleasure as opposed to simply reproduce. All area's in which society could do better. . Your other point in relation to content available on the internet comes down to a number of different points, parental oversight supervision and the controls available to restrict access. Soft porn is not necessarily the issue, it could open up some very important conversations helping to inform the younger generations who, without that being provided to them will go looking for it anyway and, despite the new restrictions here in the UK, can easily be found, for free without signing up/providing any data about yourself including confirmation of age. It could be seen as an opportunity. . None of this new. There is an argument that it was more hidden prior to mainstream social media but hidden sites are more dangerous/predatory. You only need to look at the Pellicot case and the other one re the chat room that recently hit mainstream media/news broadcasters albeit not widely. . To judge others from a perspective of morality, your own as opposed to society as a whole, is poor form and simply leads to further oppression. We see it happening in the States and we see it within political parties here in England. With sime irony, its those same tyrants that find themselves caught up in allegations of p@edophilia. It removes people's ability to exercise autonomy and control over their own lives which is where my comment started. . Perhaps I would suggest some self reflection. Why are you here on this app? Do you need to unpick your sense of shame around sex, your desires etc. And lastly, perhaps you need to think about why you felt the need to use such inflammatory language. It's fine to have your opinion but, reading the room is sometimes useful.
al**** Posted October 19 My opinion is this and it’s not going to be popular and I will probably get flack for it but I have to be honest. When I started out in the bdsm community almost 22 years ago it was a different world. It was not about sex as it was about power exchange. I am a full Christian and went to church multiple times a week. I just felt like I needed to submit to a man. That he should be boss in the relationship. I never slept around. I had one Master and it was only him. Heck, I had two d/s relationships that each lasted 2 years each and never had any sexual content to them at all. Now a days it feels like most people who say they are into BDSM are only using it as a way to promote non monogamy and hedonism. Which is NOT what bdsm is about at all. Those that are poly, ENM, and hedonistic are not under the BDSM umbrella. They are separate lifestyles that just participate in bdsm activities. This is what drives me crazy about kinksters these days. So many times I’ve been told that I’m not a real submissive or slave because I refuse to hook up with random men I don’t know. That I shouldn’t be here since I already have a Master if I’m not willing to play on the side. When I say I’m only here for friends I am constantly told that this choice is referring to FWB and not platonic friends. I need to state this clearly, you don’t have to have sexual encounters to practice bdsm. You don’t need to hook up and have play dates to be a Dominant or a submissive person. Those that say that you are afraid of your sexuality if you don’t believe like them are full of hooey. I call myself a nympho in prude’s clothing. This means that for my Master whom I’m committed to I am as sexually deviant as He desires. But that is because I believe anything is on the table for a committed relationship. Otherwise, I am a prude because I do not want to be asked sexual questions, or asked to play or see any pg-13 rated photos . If it isn’t “mine” (Master’s) I don’t want to see it.
ja**** Posted October 19 Lol, absolutely not. The shame you feel is the real depravation, the real societal rot.
se**** Posted October 19 If you feel guilty for using an app like this, then this is not the app for you. Normalizing kinks are not a bad thing. Having the best for society has nothing to do with who we are in the bedroom. Those who tried to normalize pedophilia didn't do so for consenting adult enjoyment. Having consenting sex as adults is not criminalized nor should it be shamed. What they did was try to normalize criminal activity. There is a huge difference between fun kink play and criminal activity
Ul**** Posted October 19 10 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: There's a big issue with pirate content which can't be tamed so easily as a lot is distributed from non-compliant regions. And some of the pirate sites have some fairly disturbing things. So when, kinda, there's attempts to block legitmate sites, people end up going to the more extreme pirate content. That kind of seems like the legitimate distributor of a drug gets shutdown, then dealers on the street get more business and put their dangerous products in circulation. Supply and demand, but when the suppliers aren't vetted things can get even more dangerous and out of hand.
Recommended Posts