New Master/Owner Sub/Slave Relationship Question

[Just_born]

I recently started a relationship with an established Sub/Slave. I've never been in a Master/Sub relationship before but I'm more of a Sub. I am struggling with some of the basic aspects of being dominant. For example I know that the Sub would usually refer to his Master in a formal manner like Sir or Master (I know every relationship is different but I think this is generally true). How does one usually refer to their Sub? I know it's ultimately up to the Master (with consent) to set the rules but what do my fellow Masters/Mistresses call their Subs?

 

I did a search and didn't see any similar posts so I apologize if this is a double post.

Edited November 11, 2020 by Just_born
Added Double Post Disclaimer and Mistresses

[ey****]

if in doubt, their name

a lot depends on the relationship - some might use dehumanising names - just always referring to them as sub or slave

I know some who gives nicknames to her subs as that's also personal and adds an extra level of possession 

[Deleted Member]

For me a lot would depend on the situation, mood and individual partner. For some certain names can be hard limits so are avoided. It can vary wildly all the way from princess, sweetie, luv, babygirl, slut, tramp, filth, cunt, bitch etc. On a side note, I like to give a 2nd vanilla name, so if we are out in a vanilla setting and should I use that name, she knows the rules have changed=fun 😊

Edited November 11, 2020 by Deleted Member

[li****]

When I'm in a D/s dynamic/relationship I always like to have a pet name given me that only my Sir can use. Like @eyemblacksheep says gives that extra layer of your mine!!!! But also makes me feel special and only his when he calls me that nickname/pet names. My Sir will use my main pet name when we chat one on one, in a chat room, when we are at an event and also when we have a play session and there are some that he will use in private that's just between us two. 

 

But of course it's something that you both discuss together and something that you both want to use and are happy with. Some will be triggers so me for example I don't like bitch, slut and slag etc but again that's me and my triggers it will be different for every sub 😌

Edited November 11, 2020 by lil-monster
Added more

[VoyagerX]

Well... I'm just for the first time into a Master/slave dynamic.

And that came from a Dom/sub dynamic very quickly.

Although I know what I want and what she wants...I'm not familiar with the protocols either really!

The point is I think you'll have to find your own way.

Carve out your own dynamic and your own rules between each other.

She calls me Sir.

But I don't punish her every time she forgets! Unless I want to of course🤪

I call her by her fet name in conversation but if it gets sexual I know she likes to be called a slut.

Therefore I just add the icing on top of the cake by calling her cumslut!

If you're prepared to communicate I think these things happen organically.

It's been said on here before that it's people first and kink second.

This is really good advice.

Talk to the person.... and then you'll find out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

It’s always so interesting finding out about other dynamics! My Dom calls me whatever he feels like at the time, it might be an endearment, it might be a degrading word like whore. I call him Sir and latterly Master because it just felt right.

[Dreamaway]

A whole lot of these relationships depend upon the 2 individuals involved and your imagination, within her limits of course. Whatever you call each other doesn't really matter as long as the names are your special thing. Don't get confused between the everyday and the kink, don't use your special names in front of others is the obvious one. Largely it will depend upon the lengths you wish you to go to and the areas you wish to explore.

[Sassy13]

I was asked to write down a list of 5 names I liked and felt right to me and he chose from them. In my case, my list included anything in Spanish, given my love of the language and the fact he spoke it. As a result he chose juguete which means toy.
In other dynamics, they happened with much less thought and planning and just came naturally after testing how it felt.

[Just_born]

Wow thanks for all the responses everyone. I know I have misconceptions about some things which is why I'm trying to learn how to be better. This was all very helpful!

[Th****]

I have always found that as you get to know your submissive over time. That a pet name that suites them and that you both think describes that inner them, will present itself.

Once you find a pet name that your submissive resonates to it may well be a an excellent device to accentuate your dynamic moving from just talking as equals to talking as an active M/s dynamic.

I for instance am with Sara but her pet name with me is lil' one. We use it both in our dynamic seriously and also in chat as it rein***s the dynamic and makes her feel more owned.

Hope it helps and have great journey in your dynamic.

[Deleted Member]

You’re the dom. Call her what you want. I call mines baby or baby girl but that’s just me. Call her by her name whatever you feel appropriate. As a dom you are in control and give orders and do what you want (with consent) so have fun with it and tell her what you want her to do to turn you on, please you, make you happy. Experiment and have fun with it and if you still feel it’s not right for you and you’re def more sub inside well that’s what the journey is all about, self discovery. Cheers