Behavior modification?

[Co****]

I'd like to hear from people who have tried to use kink for behavior changes using things like punishments and etc for missing an agreed deadline, stuff like attitude, etc. I find myself to be one who struggles with getting things done without outside pressure, and I think I would do much better or potentially even thrive with someone who will en*** penalty upon me for severe procrastination or other things. If you've tried it yourself, did it work for you? Or is it something you found wasn't a good fit or maybe something about it was a dealbreaker or nearly there? If you haven't, what do you think of the idea? Fellow ADHD sufferers especially helpful

[My****]

I'm probably too strict to be involved with this and id hate to be counterproductive at all as much as I can really see how this could be a credible approach

[My****]

A good spanking can go a long way for the proper sub who knows her place

[Ma****]

Definitely works for people with what sounds like your disposition, the problem is the punishment often becomes the reward for people like that so the key is to make it uncomfortable enough to be something they dont always look forward to.

[Deleted Member]

I’m a demanding dom top. I deal with this a lot.

[Ja****]

Since most people with adhd tend to have a serious issue with authority... it usually works best if we r the ones coming up with the punishment. Also make sure there is no nagging! Unless ur into *** and such then whatevs. Its always best if it is simply business as far as punishment goes if it comes across os nagging it usually doesn't help. However I am a dominant leaning person so I cant speak for aubmjssives

[my****]

Mixed results. I had instituted a bedtime and after going through several *** punishments it was writing punishments that had the best result.

[Be****]

It works for a while but they always slip. As a Dom, my advice for me to leave yourself room to grow in the “modification“.

[Si****]

Punishment can turn into Funishment quickly

[aL****]

I like being a brat

[Ne****]

Buuuut You can't change who you are neurologically wired as - and BDSM won't "fix" the reasons behind behaviours such as ADHD procrastination (which isn't simple refusal to do a thing!)
Now, wanting a kinky element is fine and it's all fine as long as you aren't wanting to punish yourself sincerely because of the reactions to you by the outside world [in other words, if you dislike your personal behaviours and or the disappointment others subject you to, it maybe shouldn't be addressed through kink until and unless you've gotten the former settled on for yourself.)

Having said that, IMHO, time management, help with remembering important (and everyday) things and such and more can be successfully blended within an ADHD (or what have you) person's relationship(s.)
I think it's better when a relationship is established, regardless what type, and it's not a situation wherein You're trying to enact this dynamic with whomever you happen to find with which to play.
From MY experience, that rarely goes well nor can it be sustained long enough to experience fulfillment or an even keel.

It truly doesn't modify the way your brain operates which is what controls your behaviour. Wanting a kinky fix to that isn't the best approach. If acknowledging these behaviours as undesirable and wanting a kinky outlet, "punishment" but all fun and games that happen to center around and or just incorporate your neurological uniqueness, then it could surely be fun and maybe even useful.. but You'd have to figure that out for yourself (introspection, pro therapy, AND trial and error.)

[Oh****]

This can work and I think is a big element of healthy M/s relationships. There are some important factors.

The person receiving the modification needs to want to change and accept the authority of the person deciding the rules. After all we’re consenting adults, so someone giving you homework doesn’t exactly work if you’re going to refuse to do it anyway.

Punishment shouldn’t be funishment. You can’t dissuade someone from doing something by giving them a spanking when they like being spanked. It should be something that gives them time to regret their decision to not stick to the agreed upon rule.

It also helps if the punishment is in some way related to the crime. Staying up a few minutes past bedtime every night? How about a week of much earlier bedtimes. Using negative self talk? Enjoy having to write 100 reasons why you’re special. Didn’t follow your Dominant’s dress code? Your entire outfit has to be donated to charity. (That one hurt. I still miss you, cute paperboy pants.)

It also doesn’t have to be negative rein***ment all the time. You can reward a spankee when you caught them being good by telling them to strip and giving them a surprise spanking. Maybe you cleaned the kitchen without being ordered to so this weekend you get stay up a whole extra thirty minutes.

Honestly it can be a really lovely dynamic. I miss mine a lot. Heck, my therapist literally told me that I did more personal growth in that first year of being an owned pet than I had in the past two. But it takes time and work to build a relationship like that. Hopefully you get to try it some day.

[Deleted Member]

I have procrastination problems (probably adhd lol) and a praise kink. One of my kinky friends I have a crush on has been helping me by giving me precise orders and specific rewards and so far it has helped with my motivation. I have to say that it doesn't always work when I have absolutely no focus for example. I think it's worth trying though!

[Ba****]

As a sub, with a ton of issues staying on task/meeting deadlines and generally making toxic decisions for myself, living within the bounds of a 24/7 TPE dynamic helps me a lot. Part of having a Dom for me is having someone that encourages positive growth and requires discipline. We have set down guidelines that I have to follow for my Dom's enjoyment, but they also all hit on various areas I need to work on. It's like a two-fer...

I have been punished once or twice because of getting distracted and not paying attention to the time or letting my attitude get the best of me. But for the most part having his expectations written down and agreed to keep me on track, I want to serve and make him happy. I've had to find tricks to meet his expectations and stay within the timeframe/guidelines he provided. I've found those same tricks help me in my personal and professional life as well. I stay more on task and focused than I did before.

It isn't a fix all and still requires a ton of working on myself alone... But it helps set up habits that help make it easier.

[Bo****]

It works. I got a whole personality disorder because my parents raised me like that!

[Fu****]

I am ADHD only recently realized this. It was like an epiphany and made sense of my difficulties in school and work. Haven't got treatment for it yet because I guess depression and anxiety are more important to my psychiatrist 🤷. Sorry I might not be very helpful in regards to behavior modification in the BDSM world but I do have experience in a domestic relationship that's was definitely a Dom/Sub situation very much! I was unaware at the time but I got trained like a scared little puppy. Not even joking. It's weird how it's similar but in a bad way I guess... Just my 2¢. I wish I could be of more help! Unfortunately that's all I got.... Keep the change! 😉 Lol