Have I just gotten old, or...?

[ed****]

Having recently had a relationship of several years end, it's been a while since I've even looked at a submissive's profile. Now that my sub and I are no longer together, I've been looking again and noticed something new (to me at least).

When did anal become such a common hard limit? I've known subs who would say their ass was their third favorite hole to be used, but a hard limit?

Like any other hard limit, I'd respect it, but did I miss some sort of anti-anal movement while I was away?

[FukMeSidewayz]

Nope that's a thing these days but I dont really care because I dont really wanna fuck that third hole anymore....Now eating ass is a whole nother subject...

[Ma****]

Id say, its the luck of your draw. Have seen some that have it as a hard limit, and others that dont. My current gf is a no-go, buuut she is okay with my playing on the outside.

Some, i think, are just scared of what they dont know, and have a lot of assumtions about it.

Take it in stride, respect their wishes, of course, but also dont be afraid to talk about it and fi d out what their hesitation is. You may learn that they had a bad experience, or that they just haven't explored anything with it.

Again, as alaways, eveything with consent, but it doesnt hurt to ask, and open a dialog about it.

[Ho****]

It's always been a hard limit for me. I had no idea my preferences had become fashionable!

For me (NB not kink shaming at all) I can't begin to imagine liking it (and I don't usually find it difficult to imagine liking things that I personally dislike) - to the point that I always feel surprise when I see it on someone's wishlist. I should be past the feeling of surprise as I know it's a common desire, but that's how much it's a limit.

[ey****]

I've not really noticed it as a hard limit - but in a lot of cases, it's cos some folk have had bad experiences.    Consider some men like giving anal because (or with little regard) to it often being uncomfortable or inconvenient for the other person.  

[Tu****]

Mine was obsessed with anal. She said if only ever knew how good an orgasm from Anal felt, there would unlikely be any wars to fight cause everyone would be at home stuffing their asses with coconut butter and butt plugs. 🥹😂 I miss that little twerp. 😭

[Tu****]

Just now, TurtleDomYertle said:

Mine was obsessed with anal. She said if only ever knew how good an orgasm from Anal felt, there would unlikely be any wars to fight cause everyone would be at home stuffing their asses with coconut butter and butt plugs. 🥹😂 I miss that little twerp. 😭

If only everyone knew*

[yo****]

As a sub. It's not a hard limit for me. But it is one I don't just hand over. But I know I've used it's a hard limit till I'm comfortable with it being available. It's just time trust

[theSir_ObservingU]

One of my subs always says “you only a true whore if you love anal”

[Su****]

Well I can't speak for everyone, but I've had some real idiots hurt me and caused me to bleed because they didn't care to do it properly. It is a trust thing for me.

[Do****]

Trust would be a definite thing in this day and age, too many folks are just ready to plow instead of taking the time to do it right. It's not just a do it type of thing anymore, most subs I've dom'd enjoy it from time to time but they really only like it when i let them know and i take my time.

[Deleted Member]

I would definitely like to try, but it is a trust thing because twice I’ve been with people who didn’t know how to do it and didn’t care to make sure that it wouldn’t hurt.

[Ka****]

Trust thing for me. I say hard limit when I’m searching for someone new that way I can develop trust. But if Master wants to try I am open for it. That being said, I’ve been in the lifestyle for 20+ years and still have never had anal. Even though Master has an open invitation for us to do it, it’s been 2 years and we’ve never done it even though he talks about it all the time. 🤷‍♀️

[ed****]

I can definitely understand the "not right off the bat" perspective, and also the "not ever again" perspective from those who have had traumatic experiences with anal in the past. It just seemed odd to me that anal was the only hard limit listed for some people, but nothing else.

[ey****]

I guess also a difference

This site isn't all that old and does encourage people to include limits

Fetlife until recently didn't really include limits as default

So the kinda... encouraging... people to put limits means folk are more likely to list things.  I also think a touch, limits is something very much not exhaustive but folk are limited in what they think people might ask for, or assume they wouldn't.

"What are your limits?", "Anal", "awesome so I can put a bag over your head and bury you in the back garden", "Err, no - but I didn't think you'd ask that", "But extreme breath play is a thing"

[Up****]

35 minutes ago, edmonton11 said:

I can definitely understand the "not right off the bat" perspective, and also the "not ever again" perspective from those who have had traumatic experiences with anal in the past. It just seemed odd to me that anal was the only hard limit listed for some people, but nothing else.

*whispers* it means you’re gay

[mo****]

You haven’t missed anything, it’s always been a hard no for tons of people?

[Mr****]

You ever see someone on the road and wonder "If someone knew how you really are, they'd never let you near a car key"? That's the easy version of the context. Some people are brainless idiots who completely misuse that which is entrusted to them. The hard version (real version) is that one's stupidity or malfeasance can permanently break someone—and since the bottom is a real person with consequences to attend that they may have yet to consider until later, it is way too risky for most to try.
It's absolutely the (proven, unfortunately) fact that you're less likely to find someone mindful of your limits mid-sex than someone who loses their mind entirely in presence of an exciting hole.

[Ul****]

I've noticed this too, but I think it's more of a filtering and pacing thing. I've personally only known one woman long-term who didn't eventually ask for it. I've seen the same trend with photo exchanges in chat rooms and even sex in general on a very broad scale. I think the ladies are just tired of hearing the same thing upfront for the billionth time. Most of them generally want the same things that most of us do, but they won't tell you until you're established.

[re****]

Women aren’t into anal, or atleast willing to try anal, are major turnoffs.

[No****]

21 hours ago, SubmissiveSnickers said:

Well I can't speak for everyone, but I've had some real idiots hurt me and caused me to bleed because they didn't care to do it properly. It is a trust thing for me.

Ive had the same experience as you. And even if I like anal "by myself" using toys, it'll be a long road until I let a man insert anything back there again.
Too many insensitive "whoops wrong hole haha" idiots out there...

[fr****]

As a sub it’s a “never again” thing.
Am I less of a sub? Nope.

[my****]

I’ve been seeing a lot of blow jobs as limits. That one gave me pause.