What Female Submissives wants to hear from a Dom

[Bu****]

Great topic!

[Wh****]

1 hour ago, jengin said:

Our time will come and we'll get everything we want and more, we just have to be patient and firm

lol patience is not a virtue I possess!! Lmfao

[ey****]

9 hours ago, BlackGrassland said:

That's nice, but does that mean that as a commenter, I can't freely discuss the topic and its implications?

you can

what would you like a Male Dominant to say in their profile when you're browsing

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, BlackGrassland said:

Yes, especially if female subs desires are being addressed in a way that deprecates male doms for their desires and completely avoids the desires of lesbian subs as well as the bad faith actions of female "dommes" who are only here things that are a *** of community guidelines. 😉

Lesbians are females 🙄

[FE****]

On 10/29/2025 at 6:24 PM, LadySweetTaffey said:

Ladies, I have been scrolling through Ads on here from men and what I saw was 90% asking for sex (I.e. "fun"). Tell me and them what you want to hear, read, learn, understand, get to know about a Dom from their Ad? Which to me is their first impression.

A reminder, this is the question being discussed.  Please keep replies to the specific area.

[se****]

20 hours ago, BlackGrassland said:

That's nice, but does that mean that as a commenter, I can't freely discuss the topic and its implications?

You aren't discussing implications. You are projecting. The mod said if you want to discuss different dynamics you are free to create your own topic. This person is only looking for something to help them with their dynamic. Other wise no post ever could ever be specific to that person's experiences and requests

[La****]

Thank you all for being open and honest about what you like and dislike. I for one feel we can all learn from each other and grow better as a community by sharing our experiences. I hope you learned or discovered something as well, about yourself and each other. 💞

[ja****]

Wednesday at 11:02 PM, Whiskeybandit49 said:

Can I list what I don’t want to hear or see? I want to hear a Dom who is intelligent, can carry a conversation and who can excite my mind. Before we get into kinks and sex talk, I get this is a kink site and we are all kinky but a real Dom gets to know a sub and how her mind works before engaging in play.
I don’t want to see your pics of your dick, you flipping off the camera or your tongue hanging out. Maybe I’m just too picky…

Yeah but all of that is just vague BS because it's entirely arbitrary. It's like saying how do I be a better cook and you say make food that tastes better. I need more than that need specific examples

[Bl****]

Yesterday at 10:08 AM, fififufu said:

Lesbians are females 🙄

Right so you want their opinions on what they want to hear from male doms?

[Bl****]

17 hours ago, serenegsb said:

You aren't discussing implications. You are projecting. The mod said if you want to discuss different dynamics you are free to create your own topic. This person is only looking for something to help them with their dynamic. Other wise no post ever could ever be specific to that person's experiences and requests

What am I projecting exactly?

[ey****]

2 hours ago, BlackGrassland said:

Right so you want their opinions on what they want to hear from male doms?

I don't think some of this is difficult to understand.   The OP wants examples from female submissive about what they would like to see/hear from male Dominants on profiles.

is this exclusionary?  arguably so.  But then by the same token if someone started a thread about shibari, you wouldn't expect someone to say this is exclusionary to people who like flogging.  If someone asked about kink clubs in North Carolina, you wouldn't expect anyone to start saying "well what about Western Australia" I don't get why this is difficult to understand.   

[ey****]

3 hours ago, jaxboro58399 said:

Yeah but all of that is just vague BS because it's entirely arbitrary. It's like saying how do I be a better cook and you say make food that tastes better. I need more than that need specific examples

I think yes and no.  I mean the first kinda thing of course with sites in general is there is no silver bullet. That, also, female submissives are not a hivemind and in themselves would likely want to see different things.  There is, however,  a lot of things which are commonly found off-putting.  

Like the person you quoted, to go back to it

3 hours ago, jaxboro58399 said:

Can I list what I don’t want to hear or see? I want to hear a Dom who is intelligent, can carry a conversation and who can excite my mind. Before we get into kinks and sex talk, I get this is a kink site and we are all kinky but a real Dom gets to know a sub and how her mind works before engaging in play.

I don't think that is in any form of cryptic secret code or difficult to decipher.   It is basically, don't rush straight in and talk about kink - actually take time to get to know people and show an interest in them aside from the kink.   Carrying a conversation is important because so many people cannot online and end up boring women in a small talk hell (how are you, how was your day, etc etc) so offering some form of conversation and keep them engaged.   Of course a conversation *on what* will depend on person to person, and simply if your general interests etc don't allign then you're less likely to be a match.   

[Wh****]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I don't think that is in any form of cryptic secret code or difficult to decipher.   It is basically, don't rush straight in and talk about kink - actually take time to get to know people and show an interest in them aside from the kink.   Carrying a conversation is important because so many people cannot online and end up boring women in a small talk hell (how are you, how was your day, etc etc) so offering some form of conversation and keep them engaged.   Of course a conversation *on what* will depend on person to person, and simply if your general interests etc don't allign then you're less likely to be a match.   

Exactly, I want some one who can banter with me and keep up, with a sense of humor and who wants to get to know me. Understand that most women are turned on with their brain and not their bodies… I may not have said that right, but women are turned on differently than men, men are visual and women are turned on by the brain. Which is why many of us like to read Smut rather than look at porn. I can’t submit to someone unless I trust them and that starts with my head not my body.

[ab****]

This post is a subtle idea as to men arw a probelm, how is the oppitiste handling it.
And the moderators why they keep having to ban repaonses. Do better

[FE****]

27 minutes ago, absurdist said:

This post is a subtle idea as to men arw a probelm, how is the oppitiste handling it.
And the moderators why they keep having to ban repaonses. Do better

"This post is a subtle idea as to men arw a probelm" Sadly, so often true.  You could look on this post as a way to learn and improve; however you instead complain that your off-topic reply, bemoaning life on the other side, got removed.

Responders, please do better!

There are plenty of posts looking at life from the male perspective.  If you have something constructive you would like to contribute, please do it in the right place and not here.

[ab****]

Yep cement that men are a problem yet i post a comment "its all i see on womens profiles" and my comment gets deleted. Tell me you didnt read my profile without telling me you didnt read my profile 😂🤣😂
It says females so why was male brought into it in the fieat place... do better

[FE****]

10 minutes ago, absurdist said:

Yep cement that men are a problem yet i post a comment "its all i see on womens profiles" and my comment gets deleted. Tell me you didnt read my profile without telling me you didnt read my profile 😂🤣😂
It says females so why was male brought into it in the fieat place... do better

What you fail to grasp, again, is that I don't need to read your profile  Your comments were off-topic for THIS post and were deleted as a result.  I am glad to see you raised your own question relating to the male experience.  That's the right place to express what you tried ot do here.

[ab****]

Omission through 0 empathy.
Yes and notice how i didnt bring any idea of sex into it just males.
Whether that be gay or striaght.
The uk law under the freedom of s***ch would see a major issue on how you determine and silence on a gender basis

[Bl****]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I don't think some of this is difficult to understand.   The OP wants examples from female submissive about what they would like to see/hear from male Dominants on profiles.

is this exclusionary?  arguably so.  But then by the same token if someone started a thread about shibari, you wouldn't expect someone to say this is exclusionary to people who like flogging.  If someone asked about kink clubs in North Carolina, you wouldn't expect anyone to start saying "well what about Western Australia" I don't get why this is difficult to understand.   

I don't think you want to understand. It seems that you'd rather be disguised as a voice of reason. You've made a skill out of being, and it's confusing to land on any side. Validate my point, but also trivialize it while saying you don't understand.

[FE****]

22 minutes ago, absurdist said:

Omission through 0 empathy.
Yes and notice how i didnt bring any idea of sex into it just males.
Whether that be gay or striaght.
The uk law under the freedom of s***ch would see a major issue on how you determine and silence on a gender basis

Feel free to report it, however don't forget to include your own post discussing the other side.  You know, I would hate that they see repression based on sex, when really it's just both being allowed EQUALLY to express their views and not allowing their views to be diluted by others trying to crowd them out.

[Wh****]

1 hour ago, absurdist said:

This post is a subtle idea as to men arw a probelm, how is the oppitiste handling it.
And the moderators why they keep having to ban repaonses. Do better

Was I being subtle? I can be more direct if you need me to.

[ey****]

35 minutes ago, BlackGrassland said:

I don't think you want to understand. It seems that you'd rather be disguised as a voice of reason. You've made a skill out of being, and it's confusing to land on any side. Validate my point, but also trivialize it while saying you don't understand.

OK. I actually do understand.  I think you know full well. None of your comments actually have anything to do with the thread, you're just moaning for the sake of it.   Perhaps the bit I don't entirely understand is why the comments were let through, and allowing to derail the thread - however I also respect the mods wanting to let people as yourself "have a say" even though you do not wish to actually contribute to a discussion but instead talk over women then wonder why nobody will date you. 

I think however there are "mens problems" threads now and folk like yourself would be the first to complain if women hijacked the thread. 

[Deleted Member]

28 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

OK. I actually do understand.  I think you know full well. None of your comments actually have anything to do with the thread, you're just moaning for the sake of it.   Perhaps the bit I don't entirely understand is why the comments were let through, and allowing to derail the thread - however I also respect the mods wanting to let people as yourself "have a say" even though you do not wish to actually contribute to a discussion but instead talk over women then wonder why nobody will date you. 

I think however there are "mens problems" threads now and folk like yourself would be the first to complain if women hijacked the thread. 

👏

[Be****]

Here is a bit truth. Majority of people probably will not respond to this post.
And ones who does probably will be similar to eachother.
Learn about survival bias thats what happens alot in these days.
Many people just stays quiet and simply does not engage.

Probably you wont have "general" idea because you wont be sampling all, not even majority. Besides kink is not about generalization its more about personification.

Better approach would be educating yourself via reading books written about it :)

[Au****]

That frustration with 90% of ads just asking for "fun" is universal and exactly why quality ads need to signal genuine intent. What discerning submissives want to hear from a Dom in their first impression is not a description of their technique, but a clear articulation of their philosophy and commitment to safety. They need to see that the man understands the D/s dynamic is about structure, guidance, and emotional labor, not just transactional sex. A powerful first impression should lead with statements about ethical protocols, mentioning the absolute necessity of open communication, clear boundaries, and dedicated aftercare. This instantly filters out the "sex-only" crowd who are only interested in instant gratification. Furthermore, a serious Dom's ad should reflect on what he hopes to give to the submissive (e.g., structure, mentorship, emotional release) rather than just what he wants to receive (submission, service, sex). If the ad doesn't sound like a foundation for a deep, challenging, and respectful relationship, it's just another hookup request wrapped in D/s language.